Lessons in Multiple Nerdgasm: Roald Dahl's Homework Letter

[Music] welcome to multiple nerdgasm your destination for all things nerdy guys um we've been trying to do this for about 15 minutes now so I say we just power through this and see what happens absolutely it's 10 we've been doing this for half an [Music] hour the internet has not been kind to us this evening what's the internet I think it it's got something to do with podcasts I'm not quite sure what yeah right so the internet's on the radio yeah the internet radio that's another word I heard although it contains the word internet which we also haven't really established like you know what is that so you just blew my mind Mt I don't know it's all a mystery really I don't think anyone knows I don't think anyone knows I think people's voices just

started coming out of computers and everyone just went with it what's a computer yeah yeah I understand that how are you on this [Laughter] podcast what's the podcast just talking into this box of course welcome back to another episode of multiple nerdgasm um we've had some technical issues tonight uh as maybe Apparent from uh [ __ ] around uh also um Dave is sadly not able to make it again this week um but don't despair we don't intend to make that permanent he's he's coming back we hope yeah I think he's dealing with some um legal stuff uh that came out of last week's episode and we won't say what it is or we'll say is um Mr Hamill I hope that um you and your

lawyers can come to a conclusion shortly and we can have D back this is multim orgasm 101 and that doesn't mean we're going to give you lessons in multim orgasm it means we're episode1 yep that means we're officially in triple digits we didn't just buck around and make the episode 100 we're make the next one I think people actually technically technically this is the triple digital SP cuz remember we had an episode The Lost episode did we that's right oh yeah so really this is the episode that people have actually heard one we've done right oh well that's interesting and also there was no episode zero so you know yeah true all right well fine so we're officially triple digits

now well done guys well done and and it started well with half an hour of [ __ ] trying to get Skype to work so y if you're listening and you're the CEO of Skype um [ __ ] you or the CEO of internode my service pro internet service provider who seem to be [ __ ] me in the ass lately or if you're Robbie McGregor who does the voice of uh the customer service on internode um you're fine you're doing well thanks thanks for all your hard work love you he's that voice that answers when you call inter you know the one I'm talking about yeah unfortunately I do yeah I kind of don't I kind of want to calling to know now just to hear it oh you should Robie McGregor has the best voice in Australia yeah it's worth it okay how

about give him a call after yeah give him a call I'm sure i' be uh happy to hear from you y all right well I don't want to um we open ourselves up for a bit of criticism by starting with a few of the things that here in the spreadsheet because this episode 101 we could be criticized for is that what you're saying man well I sure hope no one listened to last week's episode yeah I know well I wanted to start out by making fun of some kickstarters um but I want to point out that technically we do have a Kickstarter hanging of our own and we still haven't glass houses is what he's saying yeah a little well I mean ours was successfully funded and um and we have yet to deliver on anything well and I an update for those who back the kickstarter we are still going to do it

um we just because obviously we haven't had Dave on the podcast yeah we can't even get all of us here to record the podcast let alone everyone here to yeah film is sance we've had some um we've had some issues getting things organized so but it will be happening abely Dave and I can criticize because Dave has listen to his podcast so it's fine exactly um the shirts and and hoodies and everything for the backers are here and they're being sent out this week so um keep your eye out for those in the mail uh if you backed at that level um and yeah we absolutely are going to do it we just want to we want to do it well we don't want to [ __ ] around and and half ass it and so we've been trying to we wanted to be full asked

we want all of our asses in it all yeah so so yeah um so yes I mean did you just promised something on a m i mean do we obligated to put all our asses in this I think we might be so I apologize for that uh but that said um so it will eventually be a successful Kickstarter so um all right so we can now move on to making fun of some some less successful kickstarters and I'd like to begin kick us off well this one just made me laugh I saw it on um toess robot it was um it's a gentleman who's um trying to Kickstart I think it's a comic it was unclear wasn't it yeah it's called Batman Legacy B he just basically had a concept he wanted to throw out there well and that and it's it's also a concept that's been

done before so um this artwork because yeah he's us recycled picture from an existing piece of work yeah this ISS Batman Legacy which is um Batman this is mostly in in lower case uh low you know like all all lower case with no capitalization except for one one instance the word no only one time the word Batman is capitalized yeah sometimes Batman's a proper noun sometimes it's a common noun you know what I mean like Batman or the Batman yeah so um Batman told like never before never before Batman becomes a legacy from father to son starting in the Civil War picture is not my design there's no punctuation in that either that's not even the end so continue reading I well this is this is the head I'll repeat Batman told like never

before Batman becomes a legacy from father to son starting in the Civil War picture is not my design about this project I want make my mark on the Batman Legacy I want to write a series spanning over 100 Years of the cow being handed down from father to son starting back in the Civil War era when Bruce Wayne's great great great grandfather had his entire family slaughtered by Union soldiers and went out to seek revenge Sorry by Union Soldiers so Batman's actually a Confederate Batman side of the South that's brilliant that is really funny otherwise he'd have to give Alfred back or give him his freedom and when he went out to convention uh Slaughter by Union soldiers and went out to seek Vengeance during this he

fathered a son right before his death who was taken by by Raz Al ghoul and trained by the League of Shadows if I go any further it'll ruin the series so if you like it please don't oh wow I'm glad he didn't go any further RIS and challenges oh my God yeah see the funn the funniest challenge is the first one where it goes the only real challenge I can really see is getting DC's permission to do this yeah that might be a bigger challenge than you think he says but with the money I raise here I will fly to Burbank and pitch my idea to them and hope that they okay it thank you for your time wow so anyway um so far four people have backed this this is this is current this kickstar people have backed it and he's up to $13 these are these are not some Hefty backings he

wants 3,000 he doesn't say why he doesn't say what it's for uh it's to go to Burbank isn't it yeah yeah accommodation but where is he also I'm not sure anyone name like Raza ghoul was living in America around the time of the Civil War they would probably St out being a bit of the odd one out you know that game on The Simpsons where sorry you know that you know that segment on Sesame Street where it's one of these kids is doing his own thing that that would be Raz you know yeah yeah yeah I think Raza ghoul would have been um would have been in the South during that her they would have noticed him they would have noticed him standing there he would have been he would have been cleaning up after the animals

oh yeah Batman uh Batman Legacy that sounds great I mean I'm all I I'm all almost intrigued enough to kick in except that he needs three grand for this and he's not going to get it and even when he does I don't even know what this is and even with that he's not going to get permission to do it so if you're just going to put Batman FanFiction on the internet you don't need permission for that I mean you do but nobody does so just do it you don't need more cash for that that's right but it did inspire me to um look for some more failed kickstarters cuz let's be honest I mean we've made fun of a lot of kickstarters that have made a ton of cash but um there's actually a website called Kick end.com which uh is only the kickstarters that have made exactly

Z of their goals and uh you guys had a chance to check this out I have yeah a couple find anything you like absolutely yeah I've got um I've got two here in particular um if you'd like me to proceed um the first I found um this a this is a film called a dingo movie y um a Dinger movie sees a man raised by an isolated tribe of Aborigines since he was 6 months old uh and then taken to London England now I want to read you the full outline because it's kind of great yeah in 1986 a plane crashes off the coast of Australia there is one Survivor a baby boy who washes up on shore he's taken in by a he's taken in by a pack of dingos raised by them until the age of five and then taken in by an

Aboriginal tribe and raised in their culture until adulthood they couldn't have saved by just making the aborigin find him apparently not well no because then passed around the next the next part wouldn't happen which is given the name dingo by the tribe he remains within the tribe never encountering the world outside his village that is until a TV crew filming in the area locate dingo's tribe seeing an opportunity to make some Fast Cash they barter with the tribe to take the dingo back to take dingo back to London England where they film his experience of this whole new world he has never known to comedic effect oh I don't even know where to begin with the aberin bartering for their children I mean the [ __ ] that went on in this country up until including

the 70s is is just a just a little too on the nose man yeah wow so and and this is a this is a UK production I was gonna ask that is this written by an Australian I don't think I don't think he knows a lot about Australia I don't think he knows all about Australia I'd still like to see that movie though I mean and it takes place in 1986 so I suppose it's possible that a plane crash would go unnoticed you're absolutely right um how much money did he need for this project he wanted um 1,500 okay so he got he got zero um and chall produced the film I mean that's that's low low budget there it doesn't say it just says risks and challenges we are a team with over 30 years experience

in the TV and film industry behind us and to guide us is that just watching it or I watched The Gods Must Be Crazy and I wanted to make the same movie but in the outback yeah we're dealing with Mother Nature on this production and do face the potential for weather related delays I think that any could say that sorry wow we have structured the shooting schedule to allow for this occurrence so that should weather prevent us from filming a scene Outdoors at any point we can Retreat and film indoor scenes until a weather window opens up allowing us to film outside that's that's the only risk they they can see with this we might not be able to film outside sometimes so we'll film inside instead on our 1,000 budget for a feature film that's being shot internationally

yeah yeah well no I let me know how you go with that guys yeah I assume they're going to simulate Australia in the UK by Magic I guess well I mean it doesn't doesn't look very much well two of us two of the three of us live in a state called New South Wales so I assume that there's a part of South Wales that looks exactly like this so if you're listening I don't know that's true and you're filming in Britain just go down to South Wales and um EXA like the I'm well I mean to be fair tonight it is pissing down with rain so it does look a lot like it but uh under normal circumstances days agoad in the middle of the summer and I had a h on today and two days ago we were visited by Satan himself um and uh it was about

40 [ __ ] degrees so I don't know if that happens in England in fact I'm confident that it doesn't in fact last time I was over that way um there was a heat wave in France uh and it was about 35° and people were people were collapsing in the street going that that's just a normal day yeah I know look I found some uh some gems on Kick Ended as well I mean there's this one Florida Treasures 31 lighthouses uh this book will be a collection of 31 ligh houses from the perspective of a professional photographer and licensed Captain I mean you know riveting um he got zero of his $20,000 goal so I don't quite know why you need, $20,000 to find lighthouses Street Dreams and that's dreams with a zed on

the end I would like to interview unique people with ambitious goals and tell the story of why and how they come up with their ideas not just how why why do you come up with ideas oh just think of them but the reason that I'm really paused on this one is because that you know synopsis aside the picture is of two chicks in torn up mid drifts with big boobs poking out and their pants kind of pulled down to what I assume is the the legal limit and I just don't really see what it's got to do with it but you know it did get my it did get my attention they only needed, 1500 bucks but they they still got zero um and the other one that I thought was good is uh Locomotion shoes the walking billboard uh which is also just Ed to self-proclaim the coolest shoes and um this is basically shoes

that have a circuit board in the soul and some kind of projectory doesn't quite go into uh detail of how it works but any logo that you decide you want to advertise can be projected onto the exterior of your shoes as you walk along all right and he needs five grand to make a prototype or I could just put a sticker on there yeah that's right I mean I'm not sure why you do want to advertise Brands I mean I mean am I making some cash off of this am I going to Coca-Cola and going how much would you give me if I wear your logo on my glow-in-the-dark shoes although I mean people if you want to if you want to put the multiple nerdgasm logo on your shoes please go ahead yeah yeah I mean we're not going to give you any cash cuz we run this at

a loss but uh you know it really help us out I I'll give you a hug yeah yep anyone who does that I will give you a hug there you go and Luke is a good hugger Dan's right though we do pay for the hosting uh the website and distribution on iTunes and everything like that ourselves so if you like the show and you'd like to support us a bit we have a patreon page now patreon is a service where you can sort of subscribe and choose an amount to pay for each episode we release um we generally try and release an episode a week so that would average added about four a month um if you back us for like a dollar an episode that means that we would get about $4 from you a month um and we put that towards hosting costs and and stuff

like that and you can set an upper limit for each month um so you can say that no matter how many episodes we put out you don't want to give us more than $2 or3 every month so that way we can't just Chuck up 10 episodes and surprise everybody and take more money than you were expecting and that kind of thing um and there also there are Milestone goals so um we've said on there at the moment that if we reach $20 total pledged for every episode um then we guarantee we'll do at least two segments every week um sometimes we don't do them because we get busy during the week and real life gets in the way of like preparation and things like that but if you know you guys are willing to Chuck in and support us then and we appreciate that we'll reciprocate by adding more and more cool

stuff to the show so if we reach that $20 Milestone um then we'll add more milestones and we see what happens we're also going to look at offering some kind of exclusive um content or stuff for people who um back us on patreon so if you become a patreon backer then you also get access to this other stuff we haven't really determined what that is yet um so that we we'll we'll talk about that and we'll hopefully in the next couple of weeks we'll have more information on what that is um so you can sign up at patreon.com multipl nerdgasm or if you go to multipl nerdgasm do.com there's a link on the page anyway um back to Kickstarter Luke do you find anything on that site all another one I found oh yeah go ahead

um stage more which is a um uh I think it's a show yeah this show takes a look at the activity of an off off Broadway Theater and the people in it um the trailer for this made me laugh because at a certain point some very dramatic music starts and you can't just you just can't hear the dialogue at all in the trailer anymore so that that made me laugh but the other thing that made me laugh is um yeah um they wanted 10 grand to to do the show um they didn't get any money and then at some point um the there's just a comment from from the Creator saying thanks for nothing on wed on Wednesday 20 grand will be invested and then and that's it nothing else on there so um and except the name of the project

has been changed to Stage more the project is a go so congrat ulations um I guess despite the um the appearance of failure it was a success or let's go back a second there they were asking for 10 grand yes they were asking for 10 grand right yes they got zero yes and they've put a comment there reaching out to to the zero backers saying [ __ ] you we're putting in our own money and we're putting in double well it it doesn't say who put it it literally just says on wed wait here we go oh no here we go there's more comments in the comment section and then there was an update okay rumors of a huge investment coming this

week and then project is a go and then nothing so [ __ ] knows what happened' got a an anonymous benefactor yeah I thought that would just being random I was interviewing a um guy a couple of weeks ago the um curator of the Sydney festival and um English is a second language and I I think he just had a lot on his plate and was kind of trying to remember everything and kind of talk right but he ended up saying something that sounded like it was supposed to be really profound but I think it was just a a slip of the tongue but um he said this is one of those events that only 10 people will get to sorry this is one of those events that that only 10,000 people will get to see but 20,000 people will remember it for

the rest of their lives and it was like what whoa why will twice as many people remember it as the people who saw it yeah what the hell you know what I mean and like in a way a threat I've just found another one yeah it's called the scoy project and it's a clothing line startup with a web present spelled p r n TS soon to follow in a very gifts and the pictures are of the t-shirts are pictures of a bear uh crudely drawn cartoon bear who's like opening up his jacket to sell you some mushrooms and then the there's another shirt where it's the bear sitting underneath the toad St eating mushrooms

so I don't know what I don't know what the deal with this is oh I think you've gone a little dark again Matt you mean as in I'm being creepy or as in you can't hear me anymore oh there you go there you go yeah that was weird speaking of dark on a um on a sad note the um the creator of sco says I have literally put my life into scoy everything I own except my TV I have sold just to put into this I sit up night and day promoting this calling asking for favors doing everything I can possibly do this is my passion and my dream and even the smallest thing could help thank you he got 0 God how much did he want sold everything a thousand he sold everything but his TV if you just

sold the TV you could have got a grand yeah there's done this well I just found one which it's a bit weird something that possibly could have done well was that I funded a project on Kickstarter and all I got with his saly to shirt T-shirt oh yeah uh so it's not a crazy idea no I mean that's I've gotten some pretty shitty t-shirts off of kickstarters you're about to get some more they've got got our logo on them he's going to charge 20 bucks each but what he's got here is his risks and challenges he doesn't have any risks he's an experienced screen printer so production will not be a problem and he'll ship them in a flat rate USP envelope to all supporters the picture he's got of it is just something he's drawn in

paint it's not even a T-shirt If You're So experienced you could have made a t-shirt yeah make a demo version surely see some of these I mean we laugh obviously but I mean our Kickstarter was silly as well that was the point um and yeah you know was a silly video um but I just wonder if these people did they just put it up and then let it sit there and and then like maybe they didn't understand how they how to get people to like not even to have one of their friends even kick in for yeah surely they didn't even put this on Facebook or you know you put it on Facebook and and your mom kicks in you know yeah and I understand that but like cuz yeah cuz here's the thing like if you're going to do a Kickstarter if

you're a listener and you you want to Kickstart something you've got to get people you know to help you out because if people go to your Kickstarter and nobody is kicked in nobody at all yeah then nobody will like we we we had the benefit of of a small but established fan base so we we put ours up we put it out some people chucked in some money so immediately it looked like it was going somewhere you know like I mean kickstar I back go I backed quite a lot of pro I backed quite a few projects and if I was to see something even if I thought it was good and it had zero yeah I'm going to shy away from it yeah even though it doesn't M see cuz the thing is you can back a project and um if it doesn't get funded then you don't pay so it doesn't

really matter that much but it just doesn't look feels like a lost CA and the novelty of of kickstarters worn off to the point where nobody just goes to Kickstarter to browse like that's right you've got to see it on your friend's Facebook yeah or like most recently I backed uh the new um Kickstarter for the new Shadow run Shadow run Hong Kong brained schemes um the games company um they backed another they're doing another um Shadow Run game and they've already been it's already over a million dollars um and I saw that on uh Twitter I think um but then it you know it ended up on all the gaming sites and that kind of thing like I think if you just put something up on Kickstarter and then walk away then that's you might as well just not bother that's right if that's

the only effort you put in that's the only return you're going to get like you might get really lucky like that guy who did potato salad yeah absolutely no no but I I'm guaranteed that that guy didn't just do that he probably he would have sent that around he would put it on Facebook and he would have got somehow he got the ball rolling you know cuz otherwise no one would see it well why would been talking I actually just backed a project on Kickstarter exploding kittens go on oh that's the um the the the oatmeals yeah the oatmeal game c game yep they needed 10,000 they're at 4 m they have 23 days to go yeah that went well for him well for them I should say for them yeah yeah look some of them some kickstarters go that's the thing it

makes people think they can do anything and and really you could it's just that you've got to you've got to have that spark and you've got to get it out there like now that we've done it the first time I think um if we were to do it again I think we would do better I agree there were things I would do differently about ours I don't know if this is this isn't really the kickstarter advice podcast so I mean if people want if people listeners want to know more shoot me an email cuz I'll say one thing I'll say one thing running a Kickstarter even a silly simple one like ours is quite a lot of work and I appreciate more how much effort a lot of people put in to um to Kickstarter us no it it's quite a lot of effort like because you've got to make sure people

don't just ignore it it doesn't just drop off the radar you got to keep the people who've backed it informed you've got to [ __ ] um uh you sh on Twitter you've got people asking questions you it's just yeah I didn't expect it to be quite as much TR or not trouble but it required a lot of attention so I can see why ones people asking for you know big games that are asking for you know like 400 Grand or whatever man that would be a like a nightmare to manage like that's a full-time job managing a Kickstarter for something that big yeah I I can appreciate that anyway not the most hilarious um five minutes of me talking about

[Music] k something that might be hilarious um apparently it is now possible maybe it's always been possible for um for for a black couple to have a white baby did you know that uh I didn't know that hilarious though really you don't think it's funny I think it's funny I imagine look on his face was pretty funny yeah but you know what they go through the article kind of names a few different scientific possibilities theories why two black people would have a white baby but I think they're ignoring the most obvious which is that she's just not confessing that she has person I know and he says I thought of that at first but nah

yeah he's confident that it is I look it might be I just thought it was it was I it was a funny story I knew it could happen the other way around because that's the way jeans work and dominant jeans um but I didn't realize it could be inverted like this yeah because particularly the baby has blue eyes and that's imagine being a literally white Caucasian child right so you got a mustache and trying going your whole life trying to convince people you're black mean no but also you're also going to have this whole complex where your parents going no you're not adopted yeah and yeah that's right like I look nothing like you I know so many questions are going to be asked when he's at school yeah oh man but like yeah

like you said like it's it's blueeyed blond hair baby like come on really I mean they say that yeah okay maybe it's possible and they've come up with a couple of suggestions but man that if I was him I'd be getting a little test done yeah I would as well you know I read an article recently about another strange birth thing which was a woman who got pregnant to two separate men at the same time I've heard of something like that basically she twice and had two sexual partners in a short period of time and both of the eggs were fertilized so she had twins uh two different men that's so weird and I'd love it I'd love to think that one was a black dude and one was a white dude and so there

was a black and white baby or like one was Danny Deo one was anold Schwarz [ __ ] yeah and know and we getting a sequel to twins yeah although apparently we weren't we already getting one of with Eddie mph that's right cuz Arnold Scher thought that wasar he was black yeah yeah well he didn't never said that he just said I think you can imagine why that would be funny look speaking of casual racism right yeah I uh you know how there's there's towns all over the world with funny names you know and um we've got a lot of them over here yeah that's right and you know just through the language barrier there's sometimes names that kind of sound like foreign words that make perfect sense in their

home country but sound a bit rude overseas or something like that I think I've found the best one and this isn't a misnomer and it's not just Lost in Translation there is a town in Spain called Matos and I'm sure I'm pronouncing that wrong and we have at least one listener in Spain who uh can correct me Matos which literally translates into kill the Jews oh really and uh it's left over from a time when uh the town was quite anti-semitic so it's not even like there was you know something that's kind of lost Through the Ages through the translation no no no um it was just a bunch of bigots who called their Town kill the Jews um who recently this year

oh it's last year I should say 2014 uh had a referendum in their town uh 93% of the village uh decided to uh it was time to change the name have to ask a question had they tried to change it in the past no they had not okay no had come up didn't come up um so do you want to know what they're changing it to yes so instead of uh Mar judios which is kill the Jews they're changing it to uh mot de judios which means Hill of the Jews Hill of the Jews I guess they figured it had to still rhyme interesting um does that mean does that mean the Jews are now wel come there yes

as a matter of fact um let me read you a little bit of this article here is a quote from the mayor we are very happy because of my we are very happy because the majority were in favor of the change the phrase MOS did not correspond with the way this Village thinks or acts these days nor with our village flag which actually has a star of David on it I was going to say one of the locals is pissing on the star on the flag but the mayor also aims to restore The Village's old Jewish quarter um what happened to that ored I don't think he want know so there's a lecture in linguistics uh at a Spanish University who had this to say is it right to change the name yes am I personally insulted by the name not

really he says there are there is actually a history of Spanish towns being called after racist things uh that should be ignored like mat moros which is kill the mo a historic word used to describe the Muslims who uh once uh resided in a large part of Spain um right yeah uh words like that are so strongly ingrained that most Spanish people really aren't aware of the connotation so if they say the word Matamoros they don't literally mean kill Arabs and I'd imagine it's the same with mudos so maybe maybe you'd imagine so then I assume they this article the writers of this article contacted uh Matamoros um kill the Moors and asked them if they planned to change their name as well and their May said we have

never thought of altering it it's a historic name you're born with it and you live with it so there you go fair enough there is a gentleman um I thought this was just really interesting um a 23y old British man has been suffering from constant Deja Vu which may have been triggered by anxiety Matt you bring this up every week uh this is the first time a link between Deja Vu and anxiety has been made um so you know don't they're not quite sure yet but but basically this guy just keeps having deja vu all the time and it says here there was one instance where he went to get a haircut as he walked in he got a feeling of deja vu as if he'd been to get a haircut before and then he had Deja Vu of the

deja vu like he had Deja Vu that he had Deja Vu getting a yeah he couldn't think of anything else and he felt like he was trapped in a Time Loop and then he starts to get anxious and it gets worse and worse and worse and he he just feels like he's trapped in a Time Loop Jesus and he just spirals back in time maybe he is trapped in a Time Loop and this isn't Deja Vu it could be is he is it Bill Murray it could be Bill Murray someone made a great suggestion the other day they should announce that they're doing a sequel of Groundhog Day and then just re-release Groundhog Day that would be Excell that's a [ __ ] excellent call it Grand Hog Day 2 make a million bucks

yeah I I would go see it yeah so would I apparently um I learned in this article actually that Deja Vu is apparently way more common uh when you're younger um you first experience it around the age of six or seven and then it happens most often between the ages of 15 and 25 and then kind of trails off yeah I thought that was really interesting I didn't know that I did walk around kind of bewildered between the ages of 15 and 25 I must admit that I don't know if I was having d v but I really didn't know what was going on absolutely so I'll buy it the photos in these articles always make me laugh because they're just so melodramatic like there's there's like there's one photo of a brain scan that's fine and then the two other photos in this

article are both of people with their heads in their hands like like ultimate despair these are reminding me of the same pictures on the article we read a couple of weeks ago about the guy who couldn't stop orgasming his father's funeral and on the golf course y his father's funeral that was an amazing story for those of you who forgot he didn't just orgasm at his dad's funeral he orgasmed nine times as they were lowering the casket into the hole and then there was as the article went on there were photos of him gradually like increasing in Spar like and one he's just sad he looks a bit sad and then the next one he's hand head's in his hands and the last one he's just

lying on the ground like begging to God to make the make the jizz stop so yeah so yeah uh constant Deja Vu that would be um that would be [ __ ] annoying I um kind imtion and um someone said um people have suggested that um it's similar to vertigo um people have suggested it's because the ear canal is near the temporal lobe which make control look they really they just don't know got no idea they got no [ __ ] IDE bra just does dumb [ __ ] you know what I learned lately we have no idea why we yawn yeah yeah I heard that scientists are at odds arguing over that one like and um what is dreaming yeah like what the [ __ ] do we dream like it's it's weird yeah well didn't they explain

dreaming that's your brain going I something nothing's happening and wants to create something well I don't think that's fact I think that's a theory and it's a pretty good theory like cuz my brain gets bored and tries fill in the blanks itself does that during does that during the day so I'm sure it does it when I'm asleep but um I've just uh so we're on the BBC website looking at this article and I've just clicked on a link in the sidebar for a um another article and maybe we'll cut this I don't know whether it's okay to laugh at this or not but I just noticed the headline 14-year-old boy raped while walking the dog and I know it's not funny that he got raped but whilst walking the dog that he didn't stop and he didn't let go of the dog you know what I mean like he wasn't

raped while he was out to walk the dog you know he was raped while walking the dog during the the time he was yeah yeah the poor [Music] kid well we don't have um we don't have any more [ __ ] watch but um don't we as far as I'm still photos if you want yeah but we do have a bit of [ __ ] news I love a news and we actually have a jingle for that uh from a very very long time ago and it goes like this news that's great right so before um before [ __ ] watch I think there was um was [ __ ] news and there was actually also um believe there was dwar watch as well wasn't there I was going to say I

don't have that queued up but give me a minute because it's it's worth hearing the jingle for dwarf watch we should just do an episode where we just listen to all the old stupid Jingles I agree [Music] yeah that was the dwarf watch that's ridiculous well Matt why don't you uh let us know what the dwarf news is sorry [ __ ] news [Music] midet see what you did there well dwarf stripper cat Hoffman I'm familiar with cat Hoffman yeah I thought you might lie I'm familiar with cat well I'm sorry Dan but she's found love with her army Sergeant fiance who happens to be 6' yeah well I just couldn't compete with that

no the arttic the article makes heavy mention to the fact that he's very tall and she's a dwarf so in fact this article has a lot of little little phrases in it that make look I agree with that let's um let's go through and let's pick out the gems shall we do you want to take us uh take us through well you can you can you can well I just you know the whole article is written with a kind of tongue and cheap mentality that I just really find uh quite entertaining when Kat Hoffman was growing up bullies were a big problem for her like you know like there's there's a size pun in almost every sentence yeah absolutely I like my fa my absolute favorites there two and kind of it's actually the same

paragraph Hoffman plans to spend five more years dancing before hanging up her pint siiz pasties for good still she thinks shaking her tiny tail feather sends a positive message for anyone with a disability which I'm sure it does I mean yeah didn't need to have P SI or tiny in there at all that's all I'm saying probably not look the thing about it look we all know there's [ __ ] strippers but um we know but uh does anyone really you know take the time to hear the story behind why they became a [ __ ] stripper well assuming that [ __ ] already and they just decided to become a stripper I don't think anyone decides to become a um when Hoffman turned 18 she discovered a way to make her short stat a big Advantage when she visited a local strip

club by the end of the night I was on stage in the nude Hoffman said um so there you go but what I really love is um her sister Renee who is also a dwarf has reservations I've been to her shows before they're not there to see her they're there to laugh at her Hoffman doesn't care about the haters I call myself a smile producer not an exotic Entertainer she says well doesn't matter what you call yourself though does it no look I I I yeah that's I can see where her sister's coming from and I can see also if she's if she's kind of taking advantage of the fact that whatever the people are

there for if they're giving her money and she's okay she doesn't give a [ __ ] she just she's like if they're going to give me money to do this I'll [ __ ] take advantage of it much them back like I say good honor like cuz you know [ __ ] yeah Power you're giving me money like I think something like that could be could be degrading if you let it but if she goes with it and she she's having fun and she she doesn't care and it sounds it doesn't sound to me like she thinks she's being like like exploited ridiculed or anything like like that and I wouldn't have thought that looking at her you know I mean she's she's a dwarf obviously but she's not you know go on admit you find her attracted she's all right for forw there you go that'll

do um this I find interesting do you guys know how they met no Hoffman says performing not only gave her confidence about her body but it also helped her find true love in the form of her six foot tall army Sergeant Eric bushner 34 who wanted to meet her after seeing her pictures online oh how romantic now just just to see what he might have seen I decided to do a quick Google image search that could have been you Dan I know could have been you and you pretty much see it all I mean there's pictures of her fingering other midgets um licking the kits of regularized women there's a picture of her painted blue as a nude Smurfette which is now my best talk

background also I will point out I know we've talked about this a little bit before and people we've had people write in and remind us and we know we just you know not that fussed about it you're not supposed to call them midgets right except she calls herself cat the [ __ ] stripper yeah I think um I think it's the same as most things where you can find something offensive if you want to and maybe it's also to do with the fact that she is one so she can use that word like I mean if it was like Butch the stripper then that doesn't mean it's okay for us to say you know what I mean y you know what I mean yeah I agree I do like this line the height difference does POS some problems but

nothing too big that I can't handle yeah no also I just love that this whole article is is pretty patronizing as it is because it's like like the title of the the article is is all right dwarf stripper cat Hoffman finds love with army Sergeant right that's still a bit patronizing CU yeah she you know okay fine I'm sure dwares get married all the time but the the video that they've got on there the title is dwarf stripper supported by loving fiance like they it's I assume because of the stripping aspect of it but it's just it's just all of it patronizing midgets get married and strippers get married too so the fact that a dwarf stripper gets married shouldn't really blow anybody's mind although it is

adorable anyway that's uh this this week's [ __ ] news midet news so we let see what I've been up to this week um Luke remember about two years ago you gifted Dave uh DCS black shark yes I do remember he played it for how long was it 12 minutes yeah 12 minutes um earlier in the he begged me for that game yeah yeah he did yeah so uh during the week Matt gifted me a game uh civilization 5 thanks for that Matt um I don't know if you can access my profile and see how much I've been playing yeah yeah I'll just have just

but just in contrast to Dave Dave played uh Luke's gift for 12 minutes and um in the last couple of days Matt I've played Civ for or Luc Tellis uh um holy crap 32 hours really yeah really do love this game wow okay I I'm very very glad to have thanks thanks for that I probably should have just bought this years ago when it came out it's been sitting in my wish list yeah no it literally came up and told me I bought um uh beyond Earth which is the the new it's it's sort of an expansion sort of a standalone game it's the one that's set in space um oh

yeah yeah and so yeah and I already had Civ 5 um and this came in a pack with all the expansions for Civ 5 and Civ 4 and Civ 3 as well I think um and so at the end of it I had a copy left over and it literally came up and said oh you've got a copy of Civ 5 Dan wishes for C5 like some poor kid who can't afford it yeah that was that was the word was like Dan wishes for it and I I couldn't say no I did wish for it I did and I got it wishes do come true but no I seriously love this [ __ ] game all right awesome good yeah it's good it's good fun and while I was on there I decided to check to see if Dave's been playing black shark anymore he's played it for half an hour oh yeah that's nice so um who's

your favorite um civilization to play play as well I mean I don't know if you can if you can choose maybe you can I just don't know how but I've been randomly assigned every time I've started to play okay you can CH can choose yeah right yeah go into advanced setting gotta yeah um so I had a pretty longlasting campaign as the Greeks uh which was good um played all the way through to the end um cuz there's several ways you can you can win the game or let's just say there's several ways you can end the game one of them is just to get to the year 2050 uh without having been wiped off the planet um so my Greeks were uh successful in lasting that long that was uh that was good uh right now I'm playing as the Siamese Empire that ill- faded Siamese

Empire and I'm doing quite well played a bit earlier today went to war with Germany and uh yeah wiped the floor with them so that's good made uh made an alliance with uh Arabia that's going well got a bit of a Free Trade Agreement going with them so it's good um I'm just going to put this out there I just added a game to my wish list okay what is it the home World remastered collection see I don't think I own a copy of that um and I don't know if there's a scenario where I'm going to accidentally end up with an extra copy yeah but if that ever happens I promise you I will gift it to you okay awesome actually I'm probably just going to buy it it comes out yeah I was going to say don't hold your breath so yeah um I've I to be honest I haven't

had a whole lot of time to play games lately unfortunately um but I have been trying to play a bit more Dragon Age um but I don't know you guys haven't played it at all yet have you no I played the first five minutes of it and then put it aside yeah so did I but I don't really count that as having played it well look I mean ow I got a cramp Jesus Christ sorry right that [ __ ] hurts leave this in leave it in oh God okay all right all right ah I'm back um I've played up to what I would consider the I've played through what I would consider the first kind of section of the game and um it's [ __ ] excellent

oh really like you're enjoying it yeah it's yeah yeah really good um the the scope of it and the the soundtrack in particular the soundtrack is amazing it's just so it's so kind of Epic and um and immersive and yeah so far the story is really good like people had a lot of problems with um with two because it was kind of repetitive and this I thought I we mentioned this before I think we've talked about it before it plays a little bit like an MMO and that you go around and kind of wander around areas and do quests and stuff like that but to me it's got all the best bit of an MMO where um you can kind of want play with people well yeah that um but you can if you want to I think but I I don't think it's in the main game I think it's got

separate multiplayer campaigns um but like you you know you acquire um influence and you get uh you get quests that kind of repeat because you're trying to you your goal is to amass influence over over the area so that you can unlock new areas and new Quest and stuff like that and so um I don't know I just I'm finding it really really like compelling and I'm sad that I haven't had time to play cuz I know I know people who have finished it like three times already and I'm like [ __ ] right I can't even talk to them about it because this is the real reason why I haven't played the game yet cuz I know what um I need to give the time to to actually enjoy it and get into it I I could honestly I I think just sit down and play for for days if if if it

that was feasible well I hopefully I will be able to play it the next 3 days because um Hannah's going to Tasmania with work yeah right so I think this might be the time wow nice one will it be that or Dying Light oh yeah that's out this week isn't it well it's it's out and it's not out at the same time oh it's out on digital yeah they came out and said that there's a problem with getting the physical copies on the shelves so that won't be coming out till next month but the digital copy the shelves all broke is is this more zombies yeses of Parkour yeah that that does sound interesting but I've played Infinity zombie games already yeah I think I'm really I'm really done with this now in in the same

way that there don't need to be any more vampire movies cuz we've seen them all now the good ones and the bad I think zombies have come full circle and we need to just let it die die for a little bit I think it's it's werewolf season fine well I actually have owned two copies of Dying Light what do you mean I own the PC version and I own the Xbox One version I was about to say you know I think somebody over here wishes for that um I was going to I was considering getting the Xbox One version get it we can play together mhm okay well if I ever get time to play anything ever y you know that thing we say always going to do I know well here's the thing right now I'm like if I get any time to play anything it's either going to be Civ

beyond Earth or Dragon Age and I I don't think I should buy any more games cuz I I I don't know by the time I get around to playing it I could probably buy it for $50 you know what I mean that's how much it'll cost by the time I'm ready to play it well I just brought the SRO s for slet Out of Hell bundle pack from Xbox on the Xbox um don't know why just saw it decided to buy it right um I was playing on my phone I could buy it on my phone so I got it and then uh I had a problem where g g Out of Hell installed but the S 4 didn't I contacted Microsoft I went oh yeah there's a bit of a problem with that I got a full refund so I could go buy SRO 4 so I got G out of free Hill for free oh that was pretty cool that's great what is g out

of hell it's a just a standalone DLC thing right so you can play it without owning the actual game oh okay 25 bucks and I got it for free yeah all right thank you Microsoft you're welcome is um is Saints R 4 good no it is terrible okay won't buy that then no I used to enjoy the Sint TR games cuz they were it was great AO a bit funner yeah not funner but no a bit sillier that kind of was how they marketed it though yeah but then they just went really over the top yeah like one of the guns which was banned in his train version was like the dildo gun yeah so they just got a bit silly for

me you thought the dildo gun was bit silly well the fact I didn't even get to use the dildo gun wait so you thought that dildo you mad that there is a dildo gun or that you didn't get to use it I'm sort of mad both yeah okay mad at there is one and then I move yeah and I also don't get to use it y let's just Y no I'm with you I'm [Music] complex so I don't know you guys uh heard um Stan but um I'm just looking at the screen and saying things as it I see or black does it have new episodes of things or only old ones

um I don't know what's new at the moment Well Community for examp television um the new season of that hasn't started yet right okay but they've got all five seasons that are already released so maybe oh Dexter ien watch Dexter will it have Game of Thrones no um Game of Thrones is currently Fox still have the rights to that yeah that's right sons of [ __ ] and even when fox tail release their Presto their version of streaming they're still not going to have Game of Thrones on there they're going to keep that to the foxt subscription right and everyone else is going to keep downloading it off the internet [ __ ] idiots but I don't know for what for what it's on there what I could see for 10 bucks a month I think it'll be worth

it is that all it is yeah has it got Doctor Who on it uh yes interesting Dr Who Torchwood yeah right it's got um how many s i to Doctor Who cuz they've got seven here yeah seven no sorry eight just a eight just a so they they're up to seven right okay but I'm thinking I'll probably end up getting this one and possibly Netflix as well oh to catch ones that the other doesn't have yeah look for $10 a month actually I that's quite cheap I I didn't expect that price yeah but if you've got to buy one service to watch one show and another service to buy another show and I know it could add up yeah uh I think they're getting closer though um PR is pretty Fox can just go [ __ ] themselves um they're charging more

than any of the other services who and they're still trying to keep their good stuff to subscription on fox tail if you are a foxtail subscriber do you get this included no damn who is who who is this Stan um I think this might be the one owned by Channel N9 right the channel N9 don't they have a a subscription Channel called Dave or something I think it's called Stan who is it that has the Dave Channel I know there's one in England called da is that what I'm thinking of I think that might be the one yeah

Dan's got Sherlock as well and Ripper Street they've got Ripper Street they got they got quite a few shows actually a lot of ABC shows BBC rather ABC over here but yeah up for $10 a month yeah that's not bad can I watch this on my Xbox um I had to go I went and brought a Chromecast so I could do it um but I they will release an app for it soon I'm sure I'll got an Xbox media center on my Raspberry Pi maybe I can use it Raspberry Pi sounds Runing slang for something yeah it's not it's a little computer no I just went and brought $50 from chomecast and I just plug that in and that works fine interesting interesting I might try this out it looks pretty well the other well if I get my [ __ ] internet to

work I'll try it out it's probably gonna run like ass um cool and so what Netflix and what is what are the others that are coming it's the fox one I think Fox I think it's called presto right and I think there's I think Netflix is going to be about the $10 a month as well and I think Presto's 15 a month but I heard something that they might be splitting their television and and movie so you subscribe to one the other or both right and it's quick flicks as well now yeah but quick flicks has always been around and it was never that good yeah yeah I used to get them to send me stuff out but then yeah they have Game of Thrones on um quick flick but here's the problem you know what else is not very good the Broadband here

mhm yeah like that's kind of why this stuff hasn't taken off before and why it hasn't been a good market for it is because we still have to pause a YouTube clip that goes for 9 minutes while it buffers yeah before we can watch it true I've watched a few movies so far and it's been okay I haven't had any buffering there's been a few times where it didn't look the greatest like for a minute or two mhh but didn't stop and I could still hear everything okay well look I'm going to give it a try I think I'm curious maybe wait cuz I think they've got a first month free trial yeah it says maybe try and get your Internet fixed first yeah I will I [Music] will but okay before we go I really want

to know why this kid writes L to Rell asking for help oh yeah you want to hear this before we go yeah yeah definitely all right so um I I saw this thing online during the week which was somebody who had written to R do asking for help with an assignment so it's it's some boy who thought oh I know what I'll do I'll just get R DAL to help me and he's actually now I don't have his letter so all the assumptions I'm making about his letter come from just the way that Ral Dal has replied to him um but it seems that he actually sent the assignment to him for um for feedback and um his name's Jay and this is uh this is what Ral Dal sent back dear Jay you are are asking too much of me you must realize that I get an awful lot of

these letters and you can't expect me to write your thesis for you it should be fairly obvious to youis what the role of the short story is in modern literature it's a big one study particularly the American short story writing of Oh Henry and runan and Hawthorne and Poe and lots and lots of English ones if you want any dope on me there's been an awful lot of profiles in English magazines over the past years starting with Fe oh starting with February 1979 issue of Vogue I've read your story I don't think it's bad but you must stop using too many adjectives study hanging way particularly his early work and learn how to write short sentences and how to asso all those beastly adjectives surely it's better to say she was a tall girl with a bosom then she was a tall girl

with a shapely prominent bosom or some rubbish first one says it all yours sincerely R Dal Stephen King says that too keep it simple I just think it's hilarious that people write to roll Dal with wanting Fe on their homework and that R takes the time to ride back and point out how much of a waste of time it is it's thesis yeah exactly well rll you're our geek of the week that's all for this week thank you for listening and we hope you enjoyed the show if you enjoyed it then please subscribe and item to receive episodes

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