Cover Your Dick: Crossguard Lightsaber & Neil Young's Pono Player

[Music] welcome to multiple nerdgasm your destination for all things nerdy um what episode is this guys 103 103 103 103 we've made it so far flying through them now if this was a weekly podcast this would be our second just past our second year anniversary that's right but we haven't exactly been weekly although we have recently we've got good again yeah we've for the last three weeks yeah hopefully we can continue that we did off last year strong yeah see if we can keep it on keep it oh actually no I'm going to screw it up by going away in April so I don't know what I don't know what's

going to happen in then well it's G to be Luke and I doing a two-hander well hopefully I can still do it just from America so we'll see well at least if we can just pop in for one or two of them yeah yeah I'll see what I can do you can update us on your travels yeah exactly will you be traveling as much as we did last time we were over there not as much no it's not a competition no no no it was more of that remember when we did try to record an episode while we're over there yeah that yes I do record uh we tried to record an episode and we couldn't because the two of you were drunk if I no no Skype um you can get Skype to record no I believe you came on the line and you were just both

too shitfaced to do it it was it was 6:00 a.m. so that's drunk probably a little drunk but more so heading towards hungover yeah anything sleep deived drunk and hungover all mixed in I don't think we' I don't think we'd gotten to hungover yet I think you told me you'd been in bed less than 2 hours that's probably true yeah so it doesn't count as a hangover yet f y so um I have any of you guys ever had acid poured on your penis acid uh no I don't think so not I can't say that I have but then again I never pissed off a Girl by secretly filming me [ __ ] her and then distributed that tape you've never done that no so I haven't deserved assd on the penis all right well um as obviously we're hinting

somebody has um a gentleman from um South Africa 25-year old man so quite young actually um he can no longer use his penis um after his 17-year-old girlfriend 17 years old hey yeah there's your problem right there P acid onto his genitals to punish him for Distributing a pornographic video that he' taken of her without her knowledge and quite honestly I think he got off lightly even with the melted dick sorry he can never use his penis again yeah I think that was I think that was the idea he pisses through a tube forever now he's secretly videoed her having SE I mean we always anytime somebody's sex tape ends up online we always go oh you shouldn't have taken the sex tape she didn't know he was filming her yeah true and she's only 17 yeah he she's she's

still in school um the guy got off light if all that's missing is his penis like this is a quote everything happened the blink of an eye because I saw her and she was coming with a bottle but I didn't realize she was carrying acid she just angrily called me a dog she asked how in the world I could have done such an evil thing to her it was only then that I realized she was talking about the video I took while we were having sex what did I do that might have pissed but see it doesn't really address like how did the acid get well the acid but also had the video got up he's not very clear on that they have six but she was not aware that I was filming the sex using my laptop computer I did not

intend to show anybody the video and I still don't know how it ended up on social media right he's lying you uploaded it you hit submit your friends yeah but uh either that or he's just the average person at home who doesn't realize that their laptops got a a [ __ ] ton of malware on it and somebody else actually was recording the stream from his video camera that could Pro that happens too I think that could happen but but I'd be more so heading towards SE knew about it it's ended up on his social media yeah I'm pretty sure that um I'm pretty sure he probably just posted on the internet um but they don't really explain like he he's at a pub from what I can understand from this story he's or a Tavern in Cork Village near I'm not going to try and pronounce

that no I'd like you to try to pronounce that Matt okay hazy view is fine and where is ha youa I think there might be a in there somewhere in um yeah in South Africa obviously obviously so he's in a Tavern and she comes in with a with a a bottle or a um a jar of of some sort I assume and at some point manages to get the acid onto his penis in a way that like he he actually he he's lost the use of his penis like I want to make that into his lap I assume so like through his pants I guess what kind of acid was I don't know a lot about acid other than from what I've

learned from cartoons and things like alien so as far as I could tell it just eats through everything right yeah God and so yeah he's now um a 25 years old lost his penis and um and learned a valuable lesson about the thing is pressing charges yeah he's not pressing charges because because he raped her he doesn't see the point it's because he probably went to see a lawyer and she went but you raped her well the he filmed yeah that's that's technically rape is it okay I I I assume that's what you meant I wasn't I yeah yeah yeah she didn't consent to being filmed while having sex that's a sexual assault okay that's good to know WR it down Luke Luke write that down I think we've all learned a valuable

lesson today yeah so yeah so um Public Service Announcement watch out yeah you know if if you if you film a girl having sex with you without letting her know and she's got a bottle heading towards you maybe just cover your dick you know cover your dick yeah better your hands than your P we just need a public service announcement that slogan is just cover your dick cover your dick all right and that jingle will be inserted just after what I'm saying Now cover up your has it y all right so last week we discussed uh cops sending themselves naked photos

from Arrested women's phones yes and getting caught and Luke was quite good at um kind of troubleshooting a way to do that and not get caught yeah um so I think maybe Luke you can weigh on this one and maybe give our friend some advice of what he could have done uh to not get caught having okay secretly taped this girl having sex with him well H well with what he did with it's easy he could have got it away that very easily what he did wrong was he uploaded it yeah yep yep that rookie mistake yeah yeah yeah if you're committing some kind of crime the very source of which is the

evidence against itself yeah don't put it on the internet yeah like that that's just simple mhm mhm so just keep it for yourself is what just keep it for yourself yeah honestly if I had if I had filled my sex having if I feel myself having sex with a girl I don't really want you guys to see it oh oh well why well that's that's awkward yeah what and here I thought we were friends I'll throw this into the mix as well though if you're going to secretly film yourself having sex with somebody MH make sure they're not underage yeah yeah is she underage oh I guess it depends on the LA there no no for pornography it's always 18 worldwide might have been legal to have sex with her but not legal to film it yeah okay

and especially distribute it yeah on over Snapchat or whatever if he's listening I'm not going to give up my Snapchat on this podcast what am I thinking what am I thinking although like we really don't get that much correspondence so you'd probably be fine yeah yeah well we'll see yeah we'll see I to give out my Snapchat except I have no idea what it is uh I can give it out if you want yeah go it's [ __ ] 4 oh you probably could have three guesses yeah yeah yeah mine's mine's easy to guess if you know anything about me I'm sure mine's just my name so yeah there's that so listeners if you know anything about me you'll be able to figure it out so yeah

yeah it's the same as everything else all right well um while we're on the subject of um of sex crimes nudity and and and such things yeah I mean we've got quite a quite a few sexy news items this week yeah there's been a lot of sex news this week a lot of people a lot of people getting into trouble yeah I mean um we to Cambodia we got a bunch of people getting deported from Cambodia yeah for uh taking nude pictures inside temples uh the latest of which I mean it seems to be an epidemic but um Lindsay and Leslie Adams 20 and 22 year old sisters uh got deported from Cambodia just this Friday for taking nude

pictures inside uh the famed Anor Temple now I mean it's a beautiful place so I kind of get why you want to take pictures there and you know if you have a beautiful body I can understand why you want a beautiful body in a beautiful P beautiful place right yeah and if you got pictures of your beautiful body in a beautiful place send them in yeah yeah but here's the thing right these are sisters y why would you take nude selfies with your sister well they're Americans God knows God knows what they get up to look I mean is that what girls do I don't know is it aren't you living with two American sisters you want me to ask oh yes you want me to ask yeah I want you to ask right now turn around and ask at

least one of them I got to walk hang hang on a sec all right hang on yeah hey is it noral for two American I'm thinking we'll just wait for him to return I really hoped he was going to take the microphone into the other room because it's either going to be one of two things it's either going to be [ __ ] off you're a pervert or it's going to be like well uh why don't you make up your own mind and they slowly start to strip I know which one I'm hoping for oh I'm hoping for the same hi Jenna oh I can hear giggling oh it's a I didn't anything I didn't see anything I promise filthy Americans sorry they were just taking new pictures of each other yeah yeah yeah we assume yeah yeah yeah thumbs up

thumbs up thumbs right up yeah yep yep it's a thing it's a thing you can't call them on it no there a Americans man yeah so it wasn't just these girls this has happened this week uh they were given a 3-year suspended sentence deportation and a fine of $250 which seems fairly mild compared to the other things they get um but only last week there was a trio of French tourists all male who were also deported and fined for practically the same thing except it wasn't so much nude as just mooning or as the chief of police for uh CM reap said they lowered their pants to their knees and took pictures of their btics so the I'm does it say I haven't seen it explain what the two sisters

were doing exactly like were they actually like they just got naked and were taking photos or that's really what it looks like in this article well look I'm not going to lie I tried to find this on Google image search couldn't find it I assume those pictures are being confiscated for evidence H okay but it does say nude like it doesn't say tits out although I'm sure uh the Constable would have had a you know a more grandfatherly way of writing I'm not sure I'm not sure the guardian would have printed it as two American sisters have been deported from codia after they were convicted of taking tits out photos inside tits a Kimbo oh that's interesting yeah well if you've ever if you've ever um taken some

nudes of yourself in front of um front of some beautiful um architecture let us know right or just any kind of tourist attraction really yeah it' be interested to see if any listeners have done that I have a friend whose Facebook profile picture is him naked with the Sydney Opera house behind him is it a real photo yes it's a real photo where whereabouts is he he was at a well right now in the photo oh no he's front and center no I mean like is it like on the steps or is it like the banal Gardens or yeah yes he's on the steps yeah he was there for a protest uh of what I don't know but he's a part-time n oh that's the um there was a bunch of naked people down there is that it I think so although the photo only features him okay okay but he also enjoys nude bushw

walking right which I I mean I I'm not a nudist but I guess I can kind of understand people that want to become nudist they want to prefer being nude that's fine but of all the activities to do while nude bushw walking is fairly close to the bottom of my list yeah that sounds dangerous would you be wearing shoes I believe they wear shoes okay my my feet are the least of my worries when scurrying through the undergrowth yeah can I wear like a sock yeah um some kind of loin cloth yeah but then it's not nudity no it's loin clothy yeah so anyway um I'll see you guys when I get back from Cambodia okay so I've just found this I've have found a picture of the girls go on into the

spreadsheet please they are clothed that's all right I still I want to see what they look like go yeah I really I put it down under segments great so it's just a photo of what they look like it's not at the temple it's all right a little bit of Photoshop oh see that's not what I was expecting not what I was expecting I mean let's be honest I expected a couple of [ __ ] yeah but this uh a look cple American tourists one Blonde one brunette after taking photos of their bare bottoms ah again again with the asses yeah to think we moon for some reason okay H snapping oh it does it does change a

bit doesn't it perhaps they did not know Anor is a holy sight but their inappropriate activities affect the sanctity of this place that's fair I don't know how you could not know it's a holy site I mean it's an immense church I mean it's out in the middle of nowhere and you'd have to take a bus specifically out there to get to it yeah yeah it's a giant Temple like come on earlier the same week authorities threatened to take legal action after photographs of topless women in Anor went viral according to the Cambodia daily so I mean people are just going there to get naked apparently so oh I love this though did you know this streaking is an epidemic at Machu piccho Peruvian

authorities said really yeah eight visitors including four Americans were detained for running in the buff in alone so there you go okay well so if you want to go run around naked go to South is Cambodia in South America no Cambodia is in um southeast Asia yeah right I was looking at um there we've got one about Brazil you're thinking of Machu Picchu yeah yeah I am and also we got a to we got well since I've mentioned it um in in South America this week um there's been a kind of Benny Hill sty Prison Break yeah I mean this really is like something out of a carry-on movie isn't it so two I'll read this is from CNN two

women dressed in skimpy sexy police officy costumes allegedly showed up at a prison in Brazil's interior mat Gro State on Thursday according to local media reports the women talk guards into letting them inside and seduced them spiking their drinks in the process according to reports and uh basically they um they came in in the morning and found the two guards unconscious on the floor with um whiskey that had been spiked um on the table and 26 prisoners missing see I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to have whiskey even if it's not spiked and I think that the whole idea of a prison is nobody goes in nobody comes out and as a guard you've pretty much got one job and that's to not let people through the gate either way yeah

don't let people escape and don't let people in so I guess this um that's they found their weakness sexy sexy women who would who would have thought yeah evidently these women rocked up in like these black skimpy latex police outfits they they say police stand isue stand issue Brazilian police force uh offered the guards drinks and said uh how about we come in and uh turn this into an orgy and instead of saying something along the lines of well we can't do that because we're prison guards yeah also this is very suspicious we're currently working right now and this is literally the one thing we're supposed to not allow yeah uh sure let's get our dicks

wet or not in this case cuz I'm pretty sure they just were handcuffed yeah see I just don't know I've spoken to security guards and no I I can't believe that people would be silly enough to allow this to happen it does seem rather OD doesn't it well I mean I've not been to Brazil um maybe maybe it wasn't like a super high security prison maybe one of those low security prisons maybe it's just like a little prison in a little town somewhere and this is kind of some hilarious thing that could have happened to any prison guard in a little Brazilian town I I guess if if you I mean I'm not a prison guard but like we all have jobs like if I was doing some video editing and three

women walked in and said stop your video editing for the time being and let's have a drunken orgy then you know despite whatever deadline I was working towards I I probably would put the editing to one side right though maybe these guys are only human we're really just yeah we're holding them high although your job as a prison as as your job as a video editor is not to stop sexy women from Rel releasing hostages or prisoners from your um from your office but I also love the fact that not only did what 26 prisoners Escape right but that almost all of them were rounded up again within the next day because um they just basically abused their freedom One inmate was formed One inmate was found wandering around the center of Nova mutum in a drunken State waving one of his stolen

rifles another one was caught in a crashed pickup that it's stole like you're G escape from prison like this is your lucky break just [ __ ] go yeah I do have another question so they got past the two front guards guarding the place where were the other guards there can't just be two guys looking after a prison well that's that's what I'm saying maybe it's just some tiny little you know prison in Brazil somewhere maybe by a prison they really mean a jail you know like a a holding cell maybe this has all been blown out of proportion but who would do that although they raided the Munitions cabinet like these prison the 26 prisoners that left took a fuckload of guns with them yeah I mean maybe that's just South

America I'd never been there I couldn't I couldn't say neither Nei um somewhere I have been is Australia obviously yeah and um I've been there right now and I believe this story takes place in Australia um although scanning it now it doesn't actually say let's oh no it's from England it's a story from England where I where I have also been so that's fine um a woman and her daughter have been left in critical condition following a blaze at their home now I'm going to leave it at that for the moment I'm going to explain the full story here and this this is quite an interesting story so okay um they had a dog called Molly um it was it was a husband and wife and a daughter had a husband and a

had a dog um Molly the dog was killed by the husband and he drowned her in the bath and then claimed that she had run away he was discovered because he attempted to cut the dog's body up and shove it down the drain oh what which caused a blockage that's so lels of psychopath yeah he pled guilty to causing unnecessary suffering to an animal that's what they call that's what they call that that's what that is is it yeah um and is still to be sentenced later this month what's necessary suffering I mean couldn't they just call it causing suffering is there a necessary amount of suffering that you can cause before it becomes a crime I think unnecessary suffering just makes it sound a bit worse cuz CU it should sound bad cuz that's a [ __ ] awful

thing to do yeah like what is wrong with you um so anyway um doesn't end there that happened uh and then obviously he was arrested I think or taken away anyway so he he's not in the house anymore and on um uh a couple of days later a neighbor spoke to miss Livingston the wife who told her that they had obtained a Ouija board and then attempted to contact the ghost of the dog right whereupon um the spirit that they summoned told them that they were both going to die then the next day on Saturday morning a fire broke out in their home the L the women were later found in the

back garden with injuries unrelated to the fire wait what they have both been arrested on suspicion of Arsen and uh and I should point out that I say mother and daughter they're age 60 and 37 so they're older than we are okay I should have to um I don't know where to start yeah I was going to say where do you want to begin with this um so they had a seance presumably to summon the ghost of the dog do they know dogs can't spell well apparently not Luke okay apparently not so that's that's strange anyway but then um yeah the the spirit of the dog or presumably not the dog um told them they were going to die I then there was a

fire but they were injured in an unrelated way like I don't know what that what does that mean I think what that means is cut themselves I think that means they faked the whole thing and tried to make it look like they'd been a fire set right so we we obviously we gave the the husband [ __ ] for murdering the dog but it turns out they're all [ __ ] I want go back to the husband to begin with at the start of the story so he drowns the dog yeah he drowns the dog yeah put it inin no no no no just put it in the bin problem solved dog goes away they might look in the bin why did you drown your dog sorry look we take one more step back why do you drown your own dog that's Luke's advice so just to be clear

Luke's going to give us advice on all the crimes on the show this week I mean that should always be Luke's job yeah so if you if you are going to drown your dog just put it in the bin afterward yeah don't cut it up and try to stick it in the dry just put in the bin cuz it it doesn't say what kind of dog either because I'm assuming Siberian Husky but seriously he had have drowned a dog then walk down the street and put it in a bin no one would have known everyone gone away walking down the street with a dead dog but in what world like I cannot think of a dog like any breed of dog and I hate that I have to think of this I can think of a single breed of dog that I could chop up and flush down the drain I mean honestly the amount of

effort that it would take to hold a whimpering dog under the water until it died literally makes my what brain hurt okay I'm assuming from the Ridiculousness of that it must be like a chihuahua or a small dog of some kind because if it was something like a Great Dane like well kudos to him Jesus all right an Alaskan malamu Irish Wolfhound or something Jesus yeah and he um he literally wrestled this thing into submission you know what you know what I'm we need to stop talking about this this is really disturbing can I cheer you up though sure definitely so I found a picture oh of what of uh de dog no not of the dog let's jump back to uh a previous previous segment so apparently it was just in the temple obviously it

was in the temple that got the girls kicked out of the country but they were going around taking all sorts of nude photos so if you scroll down scroll down the spreadsheet you'll see one of their topless photos elsewhere in Cambodia and um I'm sure we'll put that in in the show notes right I see right so okay so they were it was their thing and they called them on it yeah what that's not on Cambodia you can't call someone on their thing come on well you know another thing that you're not supposed to call people on is being Jewish yes and yet a uh French newspaper is in trouble this week for uh putting out a job application not a job application what's the opposite of a job

application like a advertis a job ad advertisement jobob yeah a job advertisement in uh in a careers website that um you know has a list of requirements and they say things like be organized be motivated uh and third from the top if possible not Jewish if possible yeah if possible not Jewish I don't think I don't think you're allowed to list that under requirements no as it turns out you're not uh legally allowed to uh to make those kind of um exclusions the thing that's quite funny about this is that as soon as they were picked up on it right PR person for the company came out and said we posted this because of schedules it's a studio that does not count the hours so we wanted someone who does not

take into account cultural or religious concerns right right then the next day when they got told that wasn't good enough they came out with uh oh sorry did I say we put it up for that reason what I meant to say is we would never willingly publish an advert like this someone from outside the business added this line it wasn't us we accept everybody in our company so so what happened to their original reason behind it uh just ignore that oh so don't worry about it yeah just don't worry about that L okay so sorry I thought that when they came out with changing so but why just why just Jewish people why not like not I mean I mean as ridiculous as it is but why not put down you know not religious uh if that is what they meant I think certainly a stereotype of there

being a lot of Jewish holidays okay I didn't know that but all right cool uh maybe I should maybe I should become Jewish maybe you should maybe I should but it's also weird like um there are other religions that take time out during the day to praying things so why is it oh that's true that's right so if that was going to be the reason it would be a lot of religions any religion that has lent or Ramadan where you have to give up something for 40 days I mean what if that person chooses to give up work bad luck you can't call on it that's what I'd be doing yeah I'm giving up showing up to things I've given up taking orders from you I had a great joke the other day um a woman walks into a job interview and

the guy said tell me what your biggest weakness is and she says uh probably my honesty and he said I don't think Honesty is a weakness and she says well I don't give a [ __ ] what you think that's good yeah I liked it I a joke um what did the Japanese pirate say what he said stop talking to me I'm trying to Fright a prane oh man I'm going to get in trouble for just laughing at that moving on actually actually no this reminded me of um uh I've been reading a lot of HP Lovecraft again lately rereading and I don't know if you guys saw I sent you guys I I saw it I saw it um HP Lovecraft as much as I love his stories and and he is very beloved but nobody nobody really mentions this but I've come across quite

a number of instances where he is very racist in his stories there a lot of casual racism in HP Lovecraft I mean he was writing in the United States in the 30s yeah you didn't really have to be politically correct back then in fact was encouraged not to there's a lot of slant there's a lot of negroes there's a lot of and not only that they're always like villainous yeah like like terrifyingly monstrous isn't there a black dog called [ __ ] in one of them yes in um in I think that's in Charles Dexter Ward there's a dog called [ __ ] like come on yeah come on yeah I mean look I love his stories too and he's like fantastic imagination and all that but also also very racist very racist some of them make me laugh just because they're like so over the top it it is

kind of funny when you encounter things that weren't uh on PC but that are now yeah have you guys tried to rewatch Eddie Murphy's raw video from the 80s actually I think about stand but I haven't got around to it it can't laugh at it now it's just it's so offensive by today's standards really see you didn't think you you wouldn't think it would work like that You' think it' be the other way around yeah yeah like a lot of stuff is no it's just making fun of a whole bunch of things that we now go that's not funny to joke about right like for example um he stops you know he finishes a joke and he goes by the way I've got

one rule [ __ ] aren't allowed to look at my ass while I'm on stage and everyone laughs and I'm watching this guy I just I can't laugh at this I'm not really sure where the joke is now yeah by today stand it's it's a different kind of funny yeah like yeah yeah yeah it's transcended yeah when you like with the Lovecraft stuff or with you know like any old oh like what's it Tom Sawyer that kind of stuff well the funny thing about Tom Sawyer is and I think you actually mean Huckleberry Finn sorry I do yeah that's actually incredibly Pro um race relations in that book it's about it's a story about a white boy and and a black man becoming friends and going on an adventure like it's incredibly Forward Thinking in that

regard but the language it uses is vernacular yeah I'm reading um Jules Vern uh Around the World in 80 Days at the moment and it is if if you can't call it racism you can at least say blatant colonialism right yeah yeah and it's pretty iive yeah yeah I find that stuff funny but I can see why people find it funny too oh god well did I tell you I think I told you Matt but luk you might not know this I got called out the other day uh when I made [Music] a made a comment about midgets oh you did yeah yeah what happened to tell so um look a friend of mine who's a listener of the show uh was telling a story in mixed

company about a [ __ ] I laughed and I said quote anything to do with midgets makes me laugh end quote right and that is a fact which is a statement of Truth all right and then as if utter Venom was being spat back at me from across the table this woman that i' had only just met said with utter seriousness oh and I suppose you laugh at everything blacks or gays say too do you and um yeah I didn't really know what to say so I just said yeah uh not very politically correct I suppose and uh she said no it wasn't uh it's not like I don't have a of humor but if you say [ __ ] like that I'm going to call

you out on it and uh I said I can tell we are not going to get along and uh then she left you made a friend made a friend nice [Music] yeah well I have noticed someone has not made a friend and that is a priest who um was kind enough to perform an exorcism yeah I mean that's what they do right yeah demons apparently they've just gotten U mobile phones in Hell or wherever it is the demons actually hang out I love this a priest has reportedly claimed he's being intimidated by a demon through text messages like

what who's he like is he complaining to the police about it maybe he's complaining to telra I don't know apparently the evil spirit was irked that the priest got the better of him and so he started a harassment campaign have you read these text messages yeah shut up preacher you cannot save yourself idiot you pathetic old preacher sounds it's so scathing anyone who prays for her will'll die well I mean that's that's a statement of fact in itself mhm father Rachel sorry Father Maran Rachel which really does sound like a girl name in fact it sounds like two girl names father Maran Rachel told local media demons were comfortable with modern technology but he also admitted

the messages were probably sent through a human host right also um did he happen to give the police the phone number that the that the text messages came from yeah I mean they could probably early yeah they could probably do quite a lot of of um good with that information police work could uh could help out there yeah but uh I'm guessing he didn't have but looking at this picture I mean this is an old priest from Poland right yeah yeah I'm surprised he can use a mobile phone well I think that's the trick he can't he's now being he's now being um punked by probably some kids yeah is what I'm I'm guessing that's what happened I'm actually thinking I have a feeling it's probably a few different

numbers that are texting him hope so he performed an exorcism on a young girl and now the young girl's friends are taking the piss yeah yeah because the young girl said to her friends can you believe it my parents got a [ __ ] priest in to an exorcism on me yeah yeah this is here's his phone number and all I've got to say is if you're one of the kids who's been pranking this priest you're our geek of the [Laughter] week we it's pretty they're pretty tame messages though really yeah from what I understand um from The Exorcist demons aren't that tame yeah that's right no they um yeah yeah they swear a lot and they uh I'm not I'm not going to say I'm not going to I'm not going to repeat you know we've said enough this episode I

think I think the one part that really makes out to me that this is probably a young child sending this message it's the part where he goes you cannot save yourself idiot yeah yeah well I mean maybe in Polish it sounds harsher than it does uh in Translation I don't know yeah do we want to get geeky we've not particularly geeky we've been goofy newsy let's get in some geek News man um um you mentioned the George Lucas news yeah earlier should we get into some um some George Lucas news let's do it let's have some George Lucas news George luas news georas news and uh well I do want that that jingle to go in there I should point out

this is really not George Lucas news this is Star Wars news I know and for the first time ever the two aren't synonymous no so do we need a Star Wars news jingle gu we do Matt put it in here that's she said I'll figure something out Star St [Music] the so where do we want to begin we've got a couple of Star Wars stories well I said we go the first one all right [ __ ] hell all right Luke well Luke why don't you take us through this something I've always known Storm Troopers are not clones yes that's right never clones so since Disney's taken over they've

released the first official Star Wars novel right it's called Star Wars of New Dawn I think it actually ties in with their cartoon series yes I believe it's set between the Clone Wars and New Hope and it's actually got in there a pair of Storm Troopers are having a conversation and it actually has um um we are searching for disestablishment um the one with the female voice said so that doesn't necessarily mean it's a female it could have just meant one was putting on a girl's voice well such The Establishment well stop you there because a couple of paragraphs later it says the female Stormtrooper surveyed the cheering crowd I stand corrected so and she spent 45 minutes trying to reverse Park but the thing is I've always known

that storm troopers were not cloned at least from When A New Hope takes over because obviously you got Han who is having a conversation as a stormtrooper in the lift yeah I know even though they dubbed over all their voices with with tamura Morrison in the later films they don't address the fact that like Han and Luke are like dressed as Storm Troopers at one point holy [ __ ] do they actually have the these aren't the droids we're looking for in like a some accent now yeah do they I know they did it with um Boba F they do don't they I don't think they did with the Stormtroopers I [ __ ] hope not maybe okay maybe I'm wrong but I did with Boba fit yeah and that it that just sounds very wrong well all right fine so even within the cannon of the films they're not

clones like in well look I mean when Leia says to Luke you're pretty short for a Storm Trooper yeah it should be you're pretty short for something that's an exact clone if if you were to be walking around the space station and you saw a short Stormtrooper and you know they're all clones don't you think you're going to go hold on a second what's this little one doing here yeah not even short just not exactly the same height yeah that's right like even if it was off by like a centimeter you would noticed that something like that yeah absolutely but yeah F so I don't know I don't know if I'm going to read this I sort of stopped reading all the novels once they found out they were no longer Cannon yeah I mean this looks

just by the cover IDE it looks a little cartoony yeah it does it looks a little uh Star Wars Rebels I've seen the first episode of rebels and I think that's the Jedi that's in it yes right not the guy on the left y h and the twac on the right who's that some TW yeah right just hanging around as HitFix put it puts it by the time Luke Leia and Han were shooting their way out of the Death Star any one of those Storm Troopers could have been a person of color or even a woman thanks for putting it that way HitFix yeah thanks that's right oh God that's not patronizing at all but I mean that's the thing isn't it that sorry I've just seen I've Just Seen Miley Cyrus in the sidebar wearing only

Suds so it's just distracted me for a moment oh I didn't get to see that it's in the sidebar of the article that we're currently on not in my side far mine's just all stuff about the Avengers I think we've seen some targeted ads you that's fine no problem don't worry I'm also getting the mil Miley sarus picture all right good sorry I mean mine's all KFC it's just all add for KFC yeah hot chicks holy [ __ ] look at this what are we looking at Miley SS now oh my God I didn't click on the link oh no no sorry not not did I uh well look moving on with Star Wars news um when Star Wars was released back in

1977 nobody could tell that it was going to become the worldwide phenomenon that it became and um not everybody liked it and uh you know it got some got some negative reviews as well as the praise that it did get I mean it's not the only film that people have tried to redact reviews I mean uh Empire magazine famously came out with its kind of four variant foil cover editions of the Matrix uh edition of Empire magazine praising how the Matrix sequels were the best movies ever made and then once everybody started hating them they said oh yeah yeah we we hated them too um but I've found what's possibly the most hilarious uh bad Star Wars review ever from 1977 and I'd like to read it okay so this uh and this is not just

some dude's blog because obviously those didn't exist this is um published in New York Magazine MH and uh film reviewer John Simon says I sincerely hope that Science And scientists differ from science fiction and its practitioners Heaven Help Us if they don't we may be headed for a very boring World indeed strips Star Wars of its often striking images and its high fluen scientific jargon and you get a story characters and dialogue of overwhelming banality even with a future cast to them well you're wrong there it happened in the past but let's let's ignore that and move on human beings anthropods or robots you could probably find them all more or less in downtown Los Angeles today I don't quite know what that criticism means

then he goes on to say oh dull new world we are treated to a Galactic Civil War ass sworded heroes and villains a princely maiden in distress a splendid old man surviving from an extinct order of a Knights who possesses a mystical power I don't see what he's criticizing and it's all as exciting as last year's weather reports even the most exciting fight is an old-fashioned Jewel for all of the swords have laser beams for blades period is all trite characterization and poultry verbiage the one exception is Alec Guinness as the Grand Old Ben Kenobi Ben for the Hebrew band to make him sound biblical and good Kenobi probably from Cannabis I hashes for reasons you can probably guess still Star Wars will do very nicely for those lucky enough to be

children or unlucky enough never to have grown up God got cry baby yeah what was his actual problem I don't know CU everything he said kind of sounded good yeah right weird but he didn't like it needless to say what's he got against the word Kenobi [ __ ] druggies Kenobi ridiculous well after this I'm going to go pick up some Kenobi any of you guys want me to get you some while I'm out yeah I've been joines for a Kenobi well someone else who's been smoking the smoking the smoking the Kenobi smoking theob smoke your Kenobi JJ Abrams it's it's uh actually

stands for jar Abrams yeah yeah he's been making a lightsaber with a Hilty thing and um people have you know you I'm sure you've heard um people are complaining about the lightsaber with the cross guard in the um Force awakens trailer M and uh he has apparently been inundated with emails from people um from both ends of the spectrum sending him overthe toop ridiculous um explanations for a why it's awesome and be why it sucks so of course yeah so um he says I will say what's been funny is since the lightsabers come out I cannot tell you how many contradictory emails I've received from people who have both offended it with unbelievable unbelievably detailed Graphics I've gotten things that are nuts and I've

gotten people who've shown how it'll kill you and how it doesn't make any sense it's been the funniest thing to see the arguments that have developed over this thing uh he then goes on to say that um it's basically like people are throwing all these arguments at him but he they had these conversations they talked about it and they worked it out and he's confident it seems that when you see it in the film and it's explained you'll shut up so or he just doesn't give a [ __ ] cuz why would he yeah at this stage he doesn't give a [ __ ] no probably not but um yeah it has been a big source of controversy and I'll admit I I think it's a bit silly at the mo at this point I I likeed it I thought it was a good idea I me in a world where

everyone's getting their hands cut off I think it makes sense yeah yeah that's fair it's a bit of protection for the r and it's actually more it makes it look more of a weapon but if you what it the way two characters that we know of H sorry that's not true three characters I can think of get their hands or arms cut off right oh no four all right there's the guy in the bar on in on Moss eely right doesn't count he's not a Jedi yeah there's the guy in the bar in um on corusant in Attack of the Clones doesn't count it's Zam wesle the Bounty Hunter she doesn't have a lightsaber MH then you have Luke and Vader both cases the hilt wouldn't have helped Vader loses his hand twice twice M yeah once

as sorry good point good point yeah and and in that case it wouldn't helped either but there are a few times when they're locked together and if you had that extra blade on there that cross Hil you could actually stab them with it it doesn't slide it's it locks it doesn't lock have we ever seen them slide because I mean if they slide at all you really do need this yeah I mean I've from from my memory of how these things work is that once they hit each other they're kind of locked and you push away from each other they don't seem to slide along each other very well yeah but just imagine you sort of holding remember where they sort of hit each other sure now imagine you've got that cross blade pointed at them oh yeah sure but it's also pointed at you if you do that

that's true yeah but I I reckon if you if you hold it right you could actually stab them with that part of it yeah look everybody loved seeing the double-ended lightsaber probably going to be annoyed that a you didn't go and B you didn't invite him yeah that's right I mean cuz if he was there he could have done all that stuff that we could given her couldn't give her a given her a copy of whatever episode that was on CD celeberties listen to CD imagine they listen to whatever you hand them just they just St for attention and they just need to be entertained doesn't go in the trash because they're the entertainers so who entertains them yeah who watches the Watchmen who entertains roseburn is that a

segment who entertains roseburn all right fine jingle goes [Music] here cuz why not you just want to create more work for yourself I just I I kind of do like doing the jingles I'll be honest all right we like you doing them too do you want to hear about the X Power Ranger who killed his flatmate with a samurai sword sure well that's it that's that's the story you just heard it oh but I mean that's pretty interesting right why did he kill him uh let's see according to TMZ well it's according to TMZ the roommate started fighting at 3:30 p.m. Medina and that his uh former Power Ranger Ricardo Medina Jr otherwise known as the Red Ranger oh uh Medina went to his room

with his girlfriend but s his flight mate followed him the report States it was then that Medina allegedly dealt him a fatal blow so they're both Power Rangers that and any no it's just the Red Ranger and his flatmate oh okay gotcha yeah now this isn't the Power Rangers that we would know I don't think oh is that right is this I don't know any of them I think he this one he was a par in 2002 right so they've had rotating cast members yeah the Power Rangers has not been off the air since it first came out there's been a new series of it every year which I think is actually pretty good feat for them to do yeah yeah someone's making I was actually looking at this in the article that goes through that um born and

raised in Los Angeles California Medina was also pressuring a singing career and had stin in ER and CSI according to his IMDb profile so I went had a look at his IMDb profile his stints on he stints on ER and CSI he was in one episode right that to me is not really a stint no more of a walk on yeah what qualifies as a stint it'd be a recurring character for I'd say at least six episodes I i' say character that has a name right yeah okay as opposed to just guy in a hospital bed jogger who finds body I've just scrolled down to the comments on this article um this Underlord from Glasgow says I liked kimbery the pink Power Ranger full stop well it's a man a few words but

yeah quite honestly I like to Kimberly the pink Power Ranger too yeah not really relevant but thanks for that underl Lord how's glasgo do you guys like music yeah yeah would you say that you're you're happy with the audio quality of of the devices that you listen to your music on yeah pretty pretty happy I haven't had a problem what do you use you Dan use your iPhone I assume yeah I do and before that have the iPod yeah Luke I use my Android you use your android y yep okay yeah see I use Spotify quite a lot so it's streamed so it's not the best um bit rate um Neil Young Who I'm sure everybody's heard of young very famous musician um he was very unhappy with the

fact that um let's be honest modern music listeners don't really give a [ __ ] about audio quality they just want it when they when they want it you know like on demand like yeah I mean the quality is good enough that it' kind of be bit Overkill to complain about it yeah MP3 is pretty popular um despite the fact that everybody knows that it's not as good as CD which in turn is not as good as X and Y and all these other formats but no one really gives a [ __ ] so but he he was confident that once people heard the difference they would care so he he um put together a Kickstarter um a while ago and they asked for $800,000 to create a um super high quality MP3 player not MP3 even just

music player um so they raised $6.2 million for this thing um which they called the Pono player they're calling it a revolution in music listening it plays back in its highest quality form they've taken the original audio masters from albums there's not that many available in this this quality the original recordings on tape and captured them again at uh I don't know the exact um recording the exact um bit rate and everything is it doesn't really matter it's it's some insane level of quality right compared to MP3 and you can the I don't know if you can see the picture of the the player um it's pretty big it's got 64 gig of storage um a very low resolution screen

it looks like a very early iPod yeah this thing looks archaic it looks like garbage compared to modern music players but it's got allegedly very very high quality components everything is high quality in it except for the touch screen apparently right it's out now for for general for the general public to buy oh and I should say that they um they he had previously released a video where he got a bunch of celebrities in like um Eddie veter and and Dave Matthews and a lot of famous musicians who came in listened to shitty quality mp3s and then listened to the same song on this Pono and said it sounds sounds so much better right but I mean you can you can have MP3s of varying quality too

well that's the point I think because um David po um over at Yahoo um did some tests and he got a bunch of people in and he's not the only site that's done this a number of sites have done this and the results are all pretty similar um they basically they got people in and did a blind test and they said we've got this we've got albums on one device bought at the highest possible quality on the Pono and then the same stuff on this iPhone purchased just on the iTunes store so that you know average stuff yep and they got people to do blind tests and say which one they preferred and which one what they what sented better what sounded better about it which um nobody was able to quantify um but basically um most of the time people preferred the iPhone if they

could tell the difference yeah so it's it's just kind of embarrassing really for for I mean you've got You Know audio files talk about you know you need $7 $800 headphones and you need goldplated [ __ ] every component that hooks up to your stereo whereas I mean scientists have said you can't hear the difference like it's it's psychological like I mean I will admit there is a big difference between a an MP3 encoded at say you know like you know the old um 128 kilobit ones even the way iTunes was at first uh and then back when we had dial up and we used to download one track at a time overnight yeah yeah that stuff sounded awful and you can hear it you can hear the the high frequencies are all wishy-washy and

it sounds terrible but when you get something off iTunes now it sounds fine like it really really only thing I need to do is like when I go and buy a new phone or something it comes with headphones a lot of time they're not the best headphones yeah sometimes buying a new set of headphones and I'm fine well that's the other thing like this thing doesn't come with headphones what and and if you're going to plug plug your you know your um your iPhone earbuds into it like what's the [ __ ] point yeah I actually find spending a little bit more on the headphones well the speakers is where you're actually going to hear the difference that's right yeah yeah I don't know it's just all a bit pointless if you ask me and and and

embarrassing I guess for like I said because people talk about this every now and then like how it's sad that people just listen to mp3s and they stream stuff off Spotify and it sounds like garbage but I'm sorry it just doesn't it just sounds fine and as much ad do about nothing as David POG says the emperor has no clothes exactly I quite like that because yeah yeah you can see there there's the charts there um they chose the phone like yeah that says it all really not just they chose the Pono and couldn't explain why they chose the phone the iPhone yep like yeah well I think we're also at a stage like even if it wasn't like that blind test but was just listening um I don't want to carry an extra player with me anymore no no no this thing huge like you can't put this

in your pocket even look at it it's like it's huge it's 5 * 2 * 1 in yeah cuz it's not only big it's thick like it's a it's a it's a big wedge it's also bright yellow I like that that's a selling point for me yeah yeah of course anyway so I don't think I don't think it's worth $400 um compared to I'm surprised it doesn't come with headphones yeah well you've got to buy [ __ ] expensive headphones otherwise you're not going to appreciate the you know well this thing there's going to be a lot of people who go out they're going to spend $400 on this they're going to get the cheapest headphones they can buy because they've got this great player that's going to make everything better and they're not going to notice the

difference or they're going to think they're listening to something great but it's actually probably going to be worse for them or here's this they'll probably buy this think it sounds great because they were forced to buy really expensive headphones as well yeah exactly and they're going to plug those headphones into their iPhone and go oh actually it sounds the same yeah yeah I don't know man well he's made his money though well yeah I guess so well this is the other thing like it's now an album now off o what is it 13 15 bucks yeah they're charging 25 yeah that's right that's the other thing yeah I think we left those kind of prices behind years ago yeah I and that's the other issue is that even if

it was better it's not better enough that everybody's going to spend $400 on this ditch the convenience of having your it on your phone have to carry around this big [ __ ] ugly looking thing and then re all your albums for $25 again been twice as much quite honestly even if right now you told me and I'm sure some services do this that I could pay $1 for a song at low quality $150 for a song at medium quality and you know $2 for a song at high quality I'm probably not going to buy the high quality one for the extra Buck no especially if I can't tell the difference yeah like and people can't well no I certainly wouldn't I don't think there's many people who would I'm not a connoisseur by any means it's all bit strange because I

there was uh have you ever heard this the um uh the original PlayStation one the first one apparently it's got some the laser that's in it is apparently like audio files go nuts for it it's like makes the CDs sound the best it's the best really laser right is just it's [ __ ] laser like if it so you just make another one though aren't they digital like it's nonsense maybe it's one of those technologies that they don't know how they made have you guys heard about that light globe that was made in the 1890s that hasn't ever gone out that one in the fire station yes what yeah yeah it's a fire station over in the United States that um yeah it was in 1800s this light was put in it is still going you

can actually see it streaming online yeah they've got a a webcam pointed out at 24/7 that you can go and check in because this light Globe has never gone out like just it it just won't blow the yeah correct whatever huh what's it made of well here's the thing they don't really know just a normal light yeah but don't forget back in the day I mean yes it is but lights used to be manufactured far better than they are now oh of course yeah they're actually manufactured at a certain point to be less good so that they were less durable because otherwise light Globe companies would go out of business everyone buys a light Globe they never need to buy one again yeah so they're made to be disposable yeah right apparently they don't know specifically why this

particular one is so good and I'm sure when it eventually goes out they'll open it up and go oh it's got a paperclip in it instead of tungsten what lucky we're alive here you go Matt I'm posting the link in oh thank you we'll put that in the putting it under the naked girl thank you underneath the naked girl underneath I don't want to I don't want to crawl under there yeah you do you do cam there it is yeah W here's a picture of the bulb as it was out yes but just to clarify they turned it off at one stage when they were moving [ __ ] or doing renovations or something and they turned it back on y so it's not like you know there was there was a half hour or

something where it was switched off but the point is it's been over a hundred years like there's a picture from today yeah there is but imagine how scary it would have been turn it off and then is it going to me turn it back on the new UPS is working can you believe this bulb has outlasted three cameras and now a UPS unit that's and that's since they started filming it you know what I mean bloody hell well that's that's cool yeah want one of them well actually guy we I think we talked about this before quite a while ago that guy who made um Javis from a Mac Mini and it um oh yeah controls his house for him because he gets he gets really bad migraines and so he can just say ah

Javis [ __ ] migraine and it turns the lights down and um he uses RFID he checks in and out of his house so it knows of his home and all that kind of stuff it's interesting but again like I don't know seems like you're opening a lot of stuff up for abuse you know what I mean I'm fine with that I can't wait till I get a microchip in my handing it fair enough have you heard this Theory I don't know how true this is I'm not going to look this up in case it's not true that's a spirit all right 666 is the number of the Beast right yeah on a barcode you have um a bunch of lines that represent numbers right and there are three bars that are longer than all the others that represent separators there's like a separator um uh IND you know like number there

yeah and that's the number six that that those extended bars are the number six so every barcode contains 666 all right yeah interesting now as far as I'm aware that's true and you know I don't I I'm not very religious so I don't attribute any kind of uh anything more than coincidence but uh interesting I'm going to look now I'm going to look that up now that I've said it you guys know that the uh Monster Energy Drink is 666 in Hebrew numerals I do have some bad news Matt and one Snopes now and I'm looking it up the first thing that I see when I type in barcode 66 is myth balls oh cool I'm glad I said it before I looked it up though because I

might not have said it before well what about the Monster Energy drink that's real is it yeah it's uh here I'll show you here we go contrary to popular myth all barcodes don't include the number 666 this belief arose because the number six is represented by a pattern similar to that of the Guard bars used to Mark the beginning middle and end of every barcode since the guard bars always appear three times in a given barcode people who mistakenly read them as Sixers claimed the pattern 666 was embedded in every barcode however if you look closely at the six in a barcode you'll see that there's a wider white bar either to the left or the right all right fine sorry

Matt I forgive you oh here we go Cra Crazy Christian lady proves Monster Energy is the work of Satan did you say proves yeah how have I not heard about this oh wow Hebrew numerals yeah Unleash the Beast that's great yeah oh there's a YouTube video which I won't watch right now but is that her I guess made this video she's she's holding a she's holding a case of Monster Energy so okay she's just pointing out the thing that it points out already but what is Monster Energy Drink is the work of Satan what what is it to achieve no I assume it's just a fun logo with a hidden meaning no I know but from what does she think its goal is oh from her point of view she actually thinks that

Satan is putting out an energy drink what's he getting out of it all these people full of energy are you know yeah stop being productive Satan says be productive it's weird the thing I never understood about Satan right yeah if Satan started out as Lucifer the angel right yeah then was banished by God and therefore hates God yeah why does he punish the people that God hates right you know what I mean I don't know if we want to do this but go on if you know the answer to this no I don't I don't I got another one though yeah if Satan was Lucifer yeah and he rebelled and and he sinned yeah and was

cast out mhm how could Adam and Eve have been tempted by him and committed the first sin yeah also putting a tree right in front of some someone with fruit on it they're not allowed to eat and then just going do not eat that fruit yeah that's a dick move yeah I mean that's they've done tests on that Darren Brown's done tests with kids MH yeah yeah we cannot be trusted in those situations we'll give you this Lolly if you leave it if you donate this Lolly for 10 minutes you'll get another one yeah and it's not as if he was experimenting because he wasn't sure if we'd do it or not he made us yeah in in in this story yeah that's he knows exactly what's going to happen yeah yeah so God thumbs down that's all for this week thank you for listening and we hope

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