100 Unwanted Orgasms: The Witcher 3 Preview & Batman Returns Review

[Music] welcome to multiple nerdgasm your destination for all things nerdy so before we begin um if you recall we had a bit of a showdown last week um you know like a bit of a bit of a discussion uh regarding a big decision that Dan had to make yeah that's right and I've decided I'm going to cremate my nan yeah uh actually it was the other discussion I meant um for those who weren't listening yeah no no no that that is fair we should probably should address that but um I actually was referring to the other kind of big um you mean getting the iPhone for those who didn't listen maybe we should just play a clip of um some highlights from the discussion just to get people back

into the uh so people know what know what we're talking about okay okay sure oh no so my question to you fellas some of you have had switch to some of you have switched back and I can't decide so I want you to decide for me let me ask you one question then do you like here's what I use my for right I use it for and the IMDb app that's what I use it for can I ask one question go what's wrong with you uh it's not shiny in you that's the same problem I've got with mine yeah I just know you and I know for a fact you're going to hate how and [ __ ] weird it is is sounds about right Matt Luke is it is it weird it can

be a bit I I like some of those things about it it's like as Luke said what is wrong with my well apart from the fact that it's actually a with in it and it's enormous nothing it's so big I know I'm just I'm just sick of the smugness quite frankly how big is too big they're so thin Dan they fit better in your than the existing how could it fit better it's wider and because they're so much smaller they're tiny TR me it's so thin you won't even know it's there no no it's not the thin that I'm worried about it can be as thick as it wants to be but if it gets any wider it's literally not going to fit in my mine fits like it's like almost falls out it's just so it's not that big man I even see one I well I had go the other day and even I was like

this is probably too big yeah it looks pretty big it's a two-hander I'll play with yours for a bit well I thought this was going to be more of a grudge match but it sounds like oh man a clear winner so uh looks like I'll be getting my hands on one oh God so yeah um I guess the question everyone wants to know is Dan what did you decide oh Jesus Christ oh give me one sec I need to wipe the tears from my cheeks um so it was too big then um look it is big but I'm going to go with it anyway put it that way I'm going to get used to the size all right but I'm going to go with the smallest one available understood man oh well that work me up good good I'm glad so where to from

there oh where can you go from there well we can talk about some convention stuff we've got a couple of convention things to talk about yeah yeah that's right you uh went to e Expo over the weekend didn't you I did uh I only went yesterday I didn't go for the for all of the days yep pretty much the same all the days isn't it yeah I think so we didn't do any of the there weren't they have shows and things on we didn't do any of that we just checked out all the you know the what do you call the booths and the um the games on offer I guess um saw some presentations from the various vendors um a couple of games of interest to to our listeners um one I think is probably of great interest um is alien isolation um

however uh I was a bit pretty disappointed by the presentation um I didn't get to play it uh basically we led up for a bit and then they they took us in and a guy there said all right hello yeah um we're um we made alien isolation so just take a seat and uh I'll press play on this video and then he did and we watched uh a gentleman Who was the lead creative director on the project um narrate over some very very slow footage from the game of of the player hiding and uh crawling and uh avoiding being seen and uh it was all generated one of the key features of alien isolation is the ability to uh

hide for example here we see um Amanda climbing inside of a locker and um she's just going to wait there for 5 to 10 minutes to make sure the aliens not around so um as you can see you can peek and uh make sure yeah was just a lot of that and um I'm sure it's very atmospheric but it just looks very much like I'm going to enjoy it for about 5 minutes and then I'm going to get [ __ ] bored yeah like I mean I guess at the end of the day it's a movie tie in but it's it's like you know those bits in games that you hate the stealth bits like does anybody enjoy them like do you guys enjoy those you know the bits to be honest I know the bit I I don't mind I mean like that's why I play The Hitman games CU I like kind of just creeping about and generally being a

creepo I like having the option I'm a pick up the sniper rifle kind of guy right well there's no I mean there are weapons in this uh he point you can't use them on the alien well apparently you can but they're not very effective and you're more likely to I mean if you set the alien on fire and then it runs and grabs you then that's not very good for you I mean how closely to the movie does this go I mean is this as a shooter with only one Enemy No there are there's humans and Android Androids I think yeah so basically the apparent I can't I they didn't say whether see they didn't provide a whole lot of actual information it was like I said it was pretty disappointing because the other thing is that the video ended and then the guy went all right well

that's uh that's it and it comes out next week so the door's over there and there wasn't a whole lot of I don't know information like is is it randomly generated or is this all scripted and am I going to play this once and then be done with it um oh I can answer those questions for you please do cuz they could or they it's randomly generated the alien will be different every time you play the game right okay and the alien actually unlocks perks as you play the game but it gets better at things yeah yes see that's all that is interesting information they could have told us I I don't know they just really didn't sell I think to be honest the game it looks beautiful like it looks like when it first they said okay here we go into the game and it came up and I

was like oh my God it looks like I'm in the movie like and then when she holds up the motion tracker oh it's um Amanda Ripley it's um like Ripley's daughter who's gone looking for her after the Nostromo disappears and winds up with this I think that's the stupid just part of this game I like that don't have to tie it into the movie yeah it didn't have to be but I mean it's called Mar and they do have to tie it in yeah they did and they didn't but I will say this it's nice that it's not just Ripley or a clone of Ripley or yeah well I suppose a child of Ripley is kind of just as bad isn't it well at least she's an established character from Aliens MH yeah even she's she's died but then you think someone would have mentioned that in the movie oh by the way she went and

looked for you uh actually and that's how yeah we learned even more about alien cuz it destroyed everybody on that [ __ ] Science Station I mean it looks beautiful like when she holds up the motion tracker see that's the other thing I don't know whether he was controlling this or not but you can kind of focus on the tracker screen and then it kind of blurs the you know the background like everything Beyond it and then or you can kind of focus into the distance and look where you're going and the motion tracker becomes a bit blurred and you can kind of just keep your eye on it or you can put it away it looked beautiful it looked just like the world from the first film and in particular there was this section where had to start the um evacuation procedure for the ship Y and

it basically looked like that last section of the movie and and I actually got a bit excited because I was like a cool like cuz you know like that sequence where Ripley's set the self-destruct and she has to get to the the the shuttle well easy way to do this is cuz I will probably buy it yeah so you can just have my copy all right then man I'm so not excited about any new games I am too excited about this last part of the Year there are too many games coming out yeah are they all for like Xbox one no they're all crossplatform well actually one one that I'll talk about then that is crossplatform and I think suffers a bit for it is The Evil Within I don't know if you've seen that I know nothing about this game um it's the new game

from Shinji Mami who uh created the first four Resident Evil games ah and uh he is apparently unhappy with the way survival horror games have progressed good cuz they stopped yeah well they kind of it's just all his a bunch of ammo and guns and shoot zombies and [ __ ] um so his goal with this was to take it back to kind of the more psychological scary um you don't have a whole lot of ammunition so you need to be a bit clever about things that kind of stuff um so we played it for I think maybe 20 minutes um and it's really good um it feels like like one of those early kind of Resident Evil Silent Hill games

with better controls though cuz the controls in those were terrible better acting um the acting I didn't see a whole lot of it it seemed fine um it I I played it on the Xbox One um but it it still looks like a 360 game and that's what I was going to say I think um they've clearly been developing it for a while and so uh and it got delay a year it was actually supposed to be out already uh it was I think was going to be a launch title for the Xbox one uh and I think um it kind of shows because it it the graphics it just looks like a 360 game kind of thing like I was a bit I was a bit surprised when I started playing it like oh this doesn't fine by me I've got a 360 yeah I mean it doesn't matter it's just it was just very like oh okay okay like that's probably going

to disappoint some people but um but it looks it looks really scary and cool uh and they had a maze setup uh at the event at EB Expo kind of by the Fright Nights people you know I talked about how Jenner and I went to Fright Nights at um movie World they had a very small um version of one of those mazes where you go in and the people run at you and and stuff like that and it was [ __ ] awesome how do you get a job being the dude who runs at people in a maze like I mean that's that's something I reckon I could do we could probably find out actually because one of the guys who who was in the in the costumes contacted us on contact Jenna on Twitter yeah it's a bit creepy go on but uh but we can probably ask him about it maybe interview him get him on the show yeah

because I mean if you got to get paid for for something you may as well get paid to just run at people in a maze oh yeah just if in case he's listening we're not paying you for anything that's true I'm just yeah we we can't afford anything but yeah Evil Within looks great uh um and all the evils within so it's actually quite an easy game you just got to battle your inner demons I assume that's right yeah it's kind of mostly just you uh in a in a mental you go I just I just can't do I don't want I want to go outside want to find Enlightenment and then you got to take some drugs and then uh try not to kill yourself yeah you just got to AC basically the game ends when you accept the fact that you can't change who you are

exactly yeah looks good uh looks very gory and violent there another one that comes out this month isn't it yeah I think so I think it's out uh out this week I think cuz I know aliens tomorrow yeah one game that's not out this week it's out um February that I'm very very excited about is The Witcher 3 and we watched um presentation by the guys from city project red uh they showed us uh some of the game and talked a bit about you know like some of the changes in the new one I don't know if you guys haven't played any of the others have you I own both of them and I'm still yet to play them I played uh a little bit of Witcher two I found it fairly challenging actually yeah okay yeah it can be difficult in that sense you mean or just yeah yeah I found it

difficult I mean hell of fun and a great world but just yeah it really you couldn't just put it on and just go around killing people for a bit and then turn it off you had to really want to be playing yeah the whole idea is you're a Monster Hunter and then when you get a job to hunt a monster you've got to research the monster in the game and prepare yeah for example the quest they showed is the Griffin Quest um you can watch a bunch of that on on YouTube I'll link to that you have in your inventory the current um monster that you've been hired to to hunt over on the side with some information about it to kind of assist with your preparations and that kind of thing and um you know you can make sure you do the right kind of potions beforehand and meditations and

stuff like that it's just really cool the graphics looks [ __ ] in they were running it from what I from what I could see they were running it actually on a Mac of some kind like a like a it looked like a Mac Mini and a and a MacBook with the only things visible maybe that's not what they were playing it on but it looked like it so um I'm guessing that means it's going to look pretty gorgeous on you know any hardware uh and then I said hello them afterwards and I got a bit Fanboy and couldn't think of anything to say course I just basically just said oh I just really love your games and uh shook their hands yeah it's what I do every time yeah always say I'm I'm cool and I'm not not going to do that but I do no I'm pretty good at being able to talk to

them and getting free stuff out of them oh I got a bunch of free stuff don't worry about that oh okay um yeah we got a we got a lot of free stuff um we got a lot of stuff that we're going to give away as well at some point when we uh not uh necessarily on here but maybe we'll do some competitions on the Facebook and the Twitter so make sure you followers and and like us on Facebook and Twitter because we're going to be giving away from some stuff people do like stuff they do uh I saw some Far Cry 4 which looks really really really pretty it's basically Far Cry 3 but really really pretty from what I can tell uh and that's probably probably good because I liked three it was fun so they'll probably sell a lot of copies of

that um there's a new Assassin's Creed that looks like the last assassin's creed but again a bit prettier one before that where's this one Set uh outb Australia colonial days it's set in France during the revolution actually there's two sorry I should say there's um Assassin's Creed Rogue and unity Unity is the new one which will be on Xbox One and PS4 and everything as well uh and that's set during the French Revolution and then Rogue is I think sort of a sequel to Assassin's Creed 4 and that's only on 360 in PS3 I think I think I've sort of given up on the story of Assassin's Creed but I still like the game I don't know what the story is to be honest yeah I'm a little confused these days yeah uh I like them they're fun but I to be honest always give up on

them after a little bit so I just haven't bothered I haven't even played Black Flag I've got it I hav't played it I finished it twice and you don't know what the story is not really but I finished it on the 360 and I finished it on the Xbox One okay I was back when you had more time for games yeah but I'm trying to play for of Horizon 2 at the moment oh yeah yeah I like racing games it's exactly the same as every other one did you get your chair fixed no no I still need to get a new steering wheel that sucks man I just can't justify $700 on a new steering wheel no not when the other one is perfectly good they just don't want to support it yep need to release an update for it and it'll be fine pretty sure an actual steering wheel for an

actual car doesn't cost $700 probably not it comes with pedals yeah I reckon I would wag your pedals thrown in would still probably set you back less than 700 bucks but I don't know what to do with it do I try and sell it your existing one yeah how much did you pay 700 bucks I don't know well you're not going to get that for it no I don't expect that but I know I've got another steering wheel that's brand new that I've never touched sitting here and I just add this to the pile or we would give it away that could work you want my used stuff well well have a think about it I don't want to commit you to that on the spot who would want to win that the competition's got to be for something liid really want as well do you what I mean yeah agreed it's

we're not just going to give this away frivolously that's right it's something that Luke owns like we have in the past where we're like [ __ ] it we'll just give it to the first one who clicks on this yeah or we have an actual competition and then Dave just gets tied of waiting goes whoever's the first to respond on Facebook will just get it yeah well in his defense no one entered that's true we made it two we we always set the bar too high yeah made it too difficult yeah we do yeah that's right not one sing single legitimate entry to my competition about designing a control you can control with your dick no no no so those patn still W going away still waiting so yeah and I saw saw some Nintendo stuff um Captain Toad which is a little puzzle game it's a bit like Fez

they've kind of Taken Fez and made it into a Nintendo game I did like Fez Fez was great fun so it's a little bit like that actually that's it's not fair to say that they just stole it from Fez but it is very Fez likee in the way you rotate to um to look where you're going and um and work your way around a kind of 3D cube level to collect uh coins and diamonds it's pretty cool says yeah it yeah it kind of is um but with with toad um but it was I had go with that it was fun um there's a new Super Smash Brothers that I don't care about because I just don't get Super Smash Brothers at all I don't that is something where you have to play with people I just don't get it it's just I don't understand you you you play his characters and you bash other characters

yeah it's just button mashing like I don't know does anyone actually know what they're doing when they play that game anybody like no I don't think that's the point the point is that you're drunk at Saturday night the party's kind of going into a l and somebody puts on Super Smash Brothers All right we need to play Mario Party that's all I know well see I love Mario party for that as well but everybody hates it well not no we don't hate it Matt we just hate playing it with with you all right make no mistake mat I'll play it with you I'll only play it with you Matt if you are not Waluigi well and if you can agree to that I'll be happily play it with you cuz I don't want to hear you do your [ __ ] Waluigi impression one more time what did I just say what's your

problem Waluigi is great I bought a Waluigi hat it's in my cupboard I bought it so the next time we played I could wear it and then now nobody will play banned banned for life God damn it as long as I can be princess I'll play yeah you dude you can be princess cool you can be pretty pretty princess Luke Pretty Princess Peach yeah you're always a princess to me Luke a are we saw some cool indie games um there's a great indie game coming out on Android and iOS called one more line um about cocaine it's not sorry to disappoint simulator um it's basically you're a little little uh shape that zooms up straight upwards in a maze and um you oh a straight line

and you get ped by other objects and when you tap the screen you kind of shoot out a grappling hook and spin around them and you have basically have to keep going with that crashing into things you know what I don't know like being on cocaine it's a cocaine I don't know if I'm going to be able to describe it now that I've you've described it fine Matt it's exactly right good well it's very cool check out a video cuz yeah actually I don't know how I'm going to describe it any better than that it's called more line and it's cool check that out um and we saw a game uh a metricide um which is kind of like Grand Theft Auto uh but set in a cyber Punk Blade Runner style future where you take on missions to assassinate people oh did you say you metricide metricide oh okay

because metricide is kill killing your own mother right metricide yeah yeah you play Hamlet yeah and um it's like Grand Theft Auto but you've only got to kill your mom yeah basically over and over again yeah so yeah check that out uh I don't think that's out yet but it's going to be on Steam Early Access soon so I'll link that in the show not uh that's an indie game by some Aussie guys um looks really cool uh and what else I see in the Indie area oh there's a little game called um little Reaper I think where you play as the Grim Reaper Little Helper and you've let all the souls out you have to jump around and collect them it's like a platform game looks cool that's adorable sounds like a fun day EB Expo thumbs up yeah yeah it was good it was good I'm

glad I only did one day I'm like that with all Expos now and I'm glad we only did one day at Comic-Con I loved it but I'm glad we only did that one day yeah same I think PX is a little different generally because there are panels on every day that interest me um EB as far as I'm aware didn't have that they had one area where they had some presentations but um really it's just a day for them to get pre-orders yeah they've got that is one thing that that not bugged me but it was just a bit it was a bit of a hard sell every presentation ended even The Witcher one which I really enjoyed ended with them saying Oh and um if you pre-order it here at the show at the booth that's just outside then you'll get um blah blah blah you know thrown in and all that kind of bit Jazz and I was

like I suppose they're here to sell the games so whatever but yeah but yeah there's not a whole lot of that at pack but was it maybe a good warmup for packs at the end of end of this one well it definitely got me excited for pack because I think pack is going to be better well don't forget EB is a shop yeah I know I know it's uh it's it's just a different kind of they're basically just put their shop in the Exhibition Center for a day yeah true Matt can I ask you did they have a um a creepy cosplayer going around touching people and getting kicked out or was that just Comic-Con they may have I didn't I didn't see there were Slendermen there I'm sure of it I'm sure I saw at least one well then

you lose true no not the same kind of thing uh as as I know I know you're referring to well we went to uh oon last week wasn't last week but for all you know we talked about it last week on the podcast it was last week by your time and um the next day uh I was reading in the paper that in the paper yeah I have a [ __ ] newspaper and I was fuing my pipe while I was reading it I was reading on the internet that um dude dressed as Slender who we all saw um eventually got uh escorted out by five security guards for just generally being a creepo and uh five security guards yeah because apparently he was repeatedly told to stop being a creepo and uh his defense was just no no no I'm just cosplaying as a really creepy dude and this is the stuff that he

does so uh yeah yeah you got to learn the hard way that there's a difference between dressing up and being a bit cool to uh actually just going and harassing people physically and uh emotionally yeah as I understand it the problem was he kept touching people yeah which is not okay yeah um one of the contributors to um the some cosplay group um said your costume is great but inviting other attendees space consistently is bad form people aren't always comfortable with being touched by people they don't know and clearly there were more people that weren't okay than those that were because you know they asked to have him removed yeah that's right apparently there were numerous complaints yeah because he kept wandering up behind people putting his

hand on the shoulders rubbing people's hair you know to get their attention and generally be creepy I mean I assume it's the same guy at one point I was standing just doing something I I was I think I was texting you actually Dan trying to work out where you were yeah and um and a slender man came over and just stood right up next to me and um looked at my phone and I said oh hi go away now please well well uh apparently uh although he was you know was being kind of uh creepy across the board he was being especially creepy uh to pretty girls so of course he was you know you can uh you can argue that he was just in character but when I was playing Slender Man I don't seem to recall him only going after the hot chicks yeah so uh yeah apparently there was this whole big

thing about the girls would uh eventually have a like oh let's let's just try to not get seen by slender and not in a fun way right it was a game it was a it was an actual yeah it was it was a game but not a fun game it was it was let's try not to get sexually harassed anymore yeah that's just not on no and I mean it's kind it's a shame because maybe he was being innocent about it but I'm sure he was but at the end of the day you've got to learn that if your idea of fun is a bit of casual sexual harassment and that shit's not on yeah we had to learn it he has to learn it yeah it better that he learns it when his [ __ ] face is covered better that he learns it by being kicked out of a convention than being dragged away screaming from a child care center

[Music] exactly all right we're going to take a little break from our hilarious content to tell you where you can find us on the internet um we're on Twitter at M nerdgasm twitter.com nerdgasm is TR on the internet I got the TR on my phone what is the internet I think Twitter's in the cloud what's the cloud is the cloud above me right now actually no Twitter's the birds so Twitter's like the current version of a carrier pigeon yeah I think it's exactly like that actually what is Facebook then face it it's a book have Facebook if you go to facebook.com multiple nerdgasm no one goes to facebook.com just go to the top to the search of your Facebook that you're already in and just type in multiple nerdgasm when it comes up click like on it you must click like cuz you

like us if you don't like us why are you listening we're on gole plus Luke the goog plus details you're in charge of that I think we uh Google+ multiple no it's plus.google.com for/ multiple nerdgasm that was close well we're on YouTube as well and go to iTunes and leave us a comment because we love that yeah I'm please head over to iTunes and leave us a positive review because that's a really good way to get us higher in the listings on iTunes and get some more listeners are we on PornHub yet we should be on PornHub actually that's I think that's an oversight as well yeah but look like the Facebook page um follow us on Twitter if Twitter's thing or go+ if you're on gole Plus for some reason um cuz we're going to have have competitions um we have

links to to things that will be of interest if you like the show what if someone would like to call us if you want to call us just give Dave a ring on 04 if you guys aren't going to listen and Raiders then we're just going to phone it in that's what I'm [Music] saying do you want to you want to move on to orgasm news Matt yeah why not um in uh in orgasm news this week um we've got this is a this is a great article just simply for the um I don't know if you've fled up the article yet oh I I read the article as in as in I watched the video okay well this man um this man has a medical condition he resulting from an accident where he um he slipped

a disc in his back um and inexplicably on his way to the hospital afterwards ejaculated five times and says um basically he's just been coming ever since he just loves men in uniform yeah so uh up to a 100 times a day but I love it 100 unwanted orgasms a day yeah like that's that doesn't include The Wanted ones yeah exactly well no because apparently he it's affecting his ability to have those sure well who cares well just time them right my favorite thing about the article is if you scroll down there's a photo of him there's a photo of him from the you in the YouTube preview where he's just sat on a bench holding his head like oh God and then if you scroll down a bit there's one of him sitting on the bench with his head in his hands going oh it's

terrible and then the last photo at the bottom is him on his knees on his hands and knees praying in the middle of the park just make it stop it's so funny because if you watch this interview they're walking along and he's chatting about it and then suddenly he'll just ejaculate he'll double over as if in pain but it's more in just discomfort and embarrassment m um I'm just watching the video um should he be driving a car well probably not he does say he stays inside most of the time and doesn't go outside because of the kind of embarrassment of it um but what was really kind of heartbreaking yet hilarious was this quote um imagine being on your knees at your father's funeral beside his casket saying goodbye to him and then have nine orgasms right

there while your whole family is standing by behind you I don't want to have another orgasm as long as I live it's man it's full on it is full on I mean it's is funny but it's not funny like oh it's funny to us but I'm sure it's not funny to him and this is one I'll admit Matt I had to double check your sources on this one because I was like has Matt put in some phony gag article in here from the onion and no no this checks out it's the New York post it's uh I mean I don't know how reputable this online news center is but uh I found a lot of other places that link from it now there's a photo of his wife on here and uh I'll say she looks

like one of the most unsatisfied women I've ever seen well yeah he's well I don't I don't know why because it says you know his the condition has left him unable to finish yeah I don't understand that no it's because he's always finishing isn't wait inside until it happens and that's not her problem yeah like what does she care yeah just keep going until she's finished and then don't worry about it cuz later on you'll just you'll be taken care of yeah you'll finish up on your own later anyway whatever Matt can you do something for me when you are putting together well when you're putting together the show notes yeah oh yeah instead of instead of linking to this clip can you link to one of the sketches from the fast show yeah just K with a man who uh who

excuses himself for coming yeah you guys want to talk about a woman with three tits uh always so allegedly I read this article the other day about a woman who had cosmetic surgery to have a third breast installed installed added yeah install Works um ARA the three breasted woman from Total Recall mhm then of course immediately there were all kinds of Articles this is a F this is fake it's prosthetic and then there was a whole bunch of articles in response to them going actually no you'd think that but um there's various proofs that this is in fact real so I don't know where I stand on this but I'm looking at a picture of a girl with three tits right now H you know I'm one and a half times as happy as I was before I was looking at it 20

grand apparently a Costa for an extra tit so ladies see I saw an article that's that somebody um found or some some airport worker uh there was like a she have to check in yeah her Customs report Customs report yeah sorry and one of the things that she had to declare was a prosthetic breast yeah yeah I've seen that too uh so I don't know what to think because I've I've heard that the third breast is fake I've heard that that report is fake and quite honestly it'll be just as easy to fake either of those so that's true scrolling through pictures right now she's always got a third breast but realistically that's pretty [ __ ] yeah I know I don't know why she did it she it says um to be less attractive wasn't it yeah let me let me tell you these are not the pictures

these are not the selfies of a Girl who's Trying to be less attractive exactly put it that way this is the selfies of someone who wants more attention y agreed but how does she buy bras now well I assume she has to have custom made that's a good question she must have to have them custom made yeah well she's wearing a custom top in this one so imagine a swimsuit now imagine half of it again and you've got a pretty good indication of what I'm looking at yeah I'm going to go it's fake yeah it is fake but I'm sure but it's it's just weird it's like she's really sticking to this story too wellth she's probably loving it if you click on the link to the video she has 5 million views right well un I've made it 5 million one dirty

now it's clearly a cry for attention and it worked so yeah sure did so uh Jasmine tried tral Jasmine you're our geek of the week I think in our next video one of us should have three [Music] breasts all right so there's a uh University course in Marvel movies yeah what are you learning from it is it how to tie them all together and and successfully without it you know like they've done a pretty good job of it I assume it's to study how they how they've managed to handle all that [ __ ] well here's a statement here by what I assume is the the convenor of the course

this series which I assume they mean the Marvel movie series not only provides action-packed entertainment but also profound statements about the nature of heroism the great responsibilities that come with wielding great power our willingness to trade freedom for security and much more every generation has a modern media mythology that serves as a framework for entertaining as well as educating about ethics morality issues of race gender class and so on to summize it's the University of Baltimore they've now got a course called media genres media Marvels which will scrutinize the intricately plotted world of the Marvel films from Iron Man to Guardians of the Galaxy pretty interesting yeah I didn't study this when I was at Uni I mean you just take

that as a as an elective yeah I'm pretty sure you can't major in it if if you could I mean I don't know what good it would do it' be pretty easy a wouldn't it I hope so you think em Stone would be there if she was I'd probably go not interested yeah you'd go there I would n really yeah this is not really my type either seemen too much of her in Spider-Man don't like it well you won't see her in the next one too much of her sorry I've just got to go to Google for a sec oh no no no nothing not like that oh just not my type yeah well that's fine I was talking to her earlier and she's not her type either yeah she said no offense but you just you know yeah it's not her type that's fine her and Christen Stewart can go hang out in the uh in the not allowed on

multiple nerdgasm Club look yeah I mean look I'll say Emma Stone's not type either but I don't put her in the Christen Stewart Camp I mean nobody's type Sur I think I don't think she's a horrible person yeah I mean maybe that can be a new competition that's how you win Luke's stuff you ring him and you admit to him in the face that you think Christian Stewart is attractive yeah and if he believes you you get his steering wheel what's she done lately Luke you got an update on that I don't know what she's doing anymore she's sleeping with directors or something well that was a while ago still Yeah well yeah probably it's a thing she do does I don't know they're filing sequel to that aren't they look when you Google Christian Stewart in the news section the first

news article that come up chrisen Stewart Jets to New York and keeps a low profile that's hardly [ __ ] news second down Christian Stewart struggles in skinny jeans after dropping keys I'm not joking these are headlines well there may not be Kristen Stewart news but I do know that there's shab buff news go on oh what's he doing well uh repeatedly slashing his own face with a knife what well that's something I can get behind during the shooting for his new film Fury M um where he I think he plays a a tank gunner in in the war his co- Logan lurman says we were in makeup and they were putting cuts on Shia and I said yeah yeah it looks good and Sh was like no it doesn't look real and so he walks down to the hallway and says hey

man want to see something fun check this out he takes out a knife and cuts his face and for the whole movie he kept opening up the cuts on his face that is all real um he needs help probably so weird and the um the sentence following says and the nomaniac actor also insisted on having a dentist remove one of his teeth what this guy's a lunatic yeah what happened to him not wanting to be famous anymore well here's something if you don't want to be famous don't be in movies yeah he wants to be a B is not famous as the woman with three breasts yeah I don't think he needs the money so yeah I don't know I don't know but to be honest uh actually and if actually if you scroll down you can see a photo of where he's

had his tooth removed as well oh he has to what an absolute freak um I think he's probably suffering from another case of the Michael Jacksons where he's been famous for too long and he doesn't understand what the real world is like anymore he was famous he was a child actor correct correct correct he was on even Stevens I hean still is he's still a child actor yeah he's 28 isn't he he's a child to us cuz we're old now they've done a bit of a followup on this actually and it says down the bottom on Friday a fully bearded shy was walking around Los Angeles without a scratch on his face so possibly uh his co-star's taking the piss or maybe possibly his face is healed um hold on if if I'm looking at the photo I could see the scratches on his face in the um the one

of him walking around in a white T-shirt with the combat boots on yeah let me have a look at that again I can see them are you imagining them because you want to see them no I pretty sure I can see them on his right cheek oh yeah oh yeah no I can see it yeah good point looks a little hardcore in this well Daily Mail well well Matt you're calling the daily mail out on misreporting the news yeah you've you've dropped the ball yeah it's not a scratch it's they tiny Cuts yeah that is uh that does appear to be two tiny cuts on his face so there you go confirmed the man's a [Music] psychopath all right so I believe you actually went out and saw Batman and Batman Returns I did it's the 25th anniversary of of Batman Tim Burton's

Batman really it's been 25 years sounds a bad right yeah I said that we went to um the ofum to see the two films back to back and then just as the first one was starting I said the Jen 25 years ago I was sat in a theater a haen theater again CU a haen Mor but it was the hayen in penth M uh sat in the theater with my dad and this movie was starting and then I realized that that was 25 years ago and uh that made me sad well we were tiny children back then so it's all right that that was in the distant past yeah I was nine years old I'm not terribly sad that I'm not a little boy anymore no no it's just it's been a long time and now we're old but um I mean I I think they both still hold up um the first one in particular I don't think anyone could argue that it

doesn't I watched it during the week and it's still a fantastic film and it's still one of my favorite comic book adaptations or comic book character adaptations let's just say it's it's funny it's it's scary it's you know exciting it's it's yeah it's really good it wasn't stupid well there is some stuff in it that is silly but it's kind of like he did a really good job of of masking it a bit like for example he's got this batwing at the end which has a little clip at the front for grabbing balloons like why is it got that on there um but I mean I only noticed it because I was you know like I'm kind of a bit cynical about things these days um but I mean I certainly don't remember that being as like I never questioned that watching it in the past and in fact

there were a lot of details that I didn't pick up when I used to watch it as a kid like the fact that everyone in Gotham is scared of using beauty products because the Joker's got this whole thing out against Beauty and he's tainted beauty products so even the people on the news start having their acne showing and their hair isn't done yeah yeah they all look awful and they're just really nice touches that I never noticed growing up the one thing I get is their hair wasn't done well you can do your hair without beauty products yeah it's true just cut a brush it's it's over the top it's all over the top no well it's it's just for effect but the yeah that's the thing though it's it it walks the line I think very well between comic book Goofy and serus I

think um Christopher Nolan's films like way on the serious side and I think schum marker went way too far on the goofy side or I think Tim like Burton had kind of Walked the Line pretty well I think Batman Returns Falls a bit further onto the goofy side but I mean we could talk about that in a sec yeah look before we go on to it CU from memory Batman Returns is in my head as being pretty goofy and I almost don't want to return it because I you know I've kind of got an okay memory of it that I don't want to taint as an adult viewing but Batman the movie has just the right amount of silliness that when it happens you deal with it and then when it goes serious that's okay too and I think that's the downfall of Nolan's

Batman's is that because they're so serious when they go a little bit silly it almost lets you down do you know what I you have you know people like Dave's always going on and on about the um the gadget tree is just to over the top and it's not that it's over the top per se I mean it's a comic book movie about Batman but it's it's over the top for the world that they're kind of creating there which is quite plausible yeah okay yeah that's true whereas this one the only thing I could fault about it really the only thing I could really fault is the soundtrack that print songs they got to [ __ ] go yeah well he didn't want them anyar he beged them to be in there yeah the studio said no they're going for some reason like Prince was so big that

Batman needed him to sell his movie but and Jack Nicholson is so good right like everything about it is just it's just great like it's a great film and I love the second one like I I love it um I know there is I mean there's a it is a bit goofier I suppose there's a section of it in particular and I I have a theory about this that I'll talk about in a bit but I think most of the film um is very similar to the first one in fact I think it's maybe even a bit darker like it's it's very dark like Selena Carl's story and um and the Penguin like it's just you know like his parents throw him in the [ __ ] River and then he comes back to with a plot to kidnap all the firstborn children and drown them like it's it's very dark but then

yeah and and it's got some funny bits but I think it's mostly Sim in tone I think to the first one and except at one at a certain point it all changes like I know it's been a while since you watched it so um Penguins the Penguins is what I'm talking about yeah but the film right most for for 90% of the film is about the Penguin and the Penguin his parents threw him in the river he flooded along he was raised by penguins in the zoo and then he he came up to the surface cuz he wanted to under the guise of wanting to to return to the human world but what he actually does is takes down the names of all the firstborn children while he's pretending to find his parents so that he can then collect all the children and drown them like the way that his parents tried to

drown him yeah because he's a psychopath yeah so that's what the film is about until all of a sudden at one point the penguin he tries Shrek convinces him to run for May and that doesn't you know they discover that he was playing him the whole time and then he goes back down he's like right we're proceeding with the plan we're going to kill all the [ __ ] kids and he kidnaps Shrek he at first he's going to kidnap his son and then Shrek says no no no take me it's me you want to drown I ruined everything and he says all right fine so he gets Christopher Walkin in a cage right and they're going to get all the kids and drown them and then they have a train that they're going to put all the kids in and then all of a sudden you see Batman's

Shadow and some hands grab the train driver and then the the circus monkey delivers a note to the penguin That's says sorry the kids aren't coming and then there's penguins with missiles there's always a plan B there's always going to be a plan B Matt I think what happened was and obviously I I have no confirmation of this but it just I mean it seems pretty obvious that I mean that's a pretty weird cut as you know in my mind now like that seems like I think maybe there was supposed to be more to it that he was going to K up the kids that was going to be the ending but then somebody said yeah you can't do that [ __ ] no you don't wner Brothers is not releasing a movie where the ending is a bunch of kids get killed Y and in fact there is a

scene earlier in the film where the fat clown in the in the circus says oh kidnapping kids that's a bit off isn't it in a slightly footage like they've put it in later no no no but penguin shoots him and then that ties into the ending that's there now where Shrek gets the gun and and fights so I I don't know I'm I reckon there was probably another ending yeah it's a good theory man it's a good theory two things in followup number one um walk's character is called Max Shrek right yes if I'm correct Max Shrek is the name of the actor that played no Fatu in the old silent Dracula movie actually yeah I think you're right um and number two I think and I'm not challenging you on this because I believe you when you said that you enjoyed it and it's a good movie but I

think you had a little bit more Nostalgia for this movie going in as well cuz I remember when I saw cuz I was a massive fan of Batman the movie and a fan of Batman in general and when I saw Batman Returns I loved bits of it and bits of it just really rubbed me the wrong way like the fact that it tears off the mask at the end I was like right the [ __ ] are you doing like that just didn't sit well with me for what I knew about Batman you know sure and the the goofiness of it and I don't know the disgustingness of the penguin he is he is very disgusting just didn't sit well when they like Joker you hate him but you love him yeah but the penguin you just hate him yeah yeah you might be right I I don't know I to be honest it

was less goofy than I kind of remembered it being when I the other night like I was like oh yeah this is the goofy one that only I like and I watch it I'm like you know what it's not I don't think it's that goofy like there's some silly stuff where you know like they they install the remote control stuff into the Batmobile so they can take control of the Batmobile and then and that's a bit goofy but there's goofy stuff like that in the first one like you know Joker does silly [ __ ] like you know they sends the little colorful mask for to breathe in the in the gallery before he does the paintings and he's got uh I it's not all it's not as goofy as that I guess but I don't know I don't know I think I'm going to have to give it a try cuz I I Hon I don't think I've seen Batman

Returns since I saw it the movies never seen it again since so I think I might have a look and see what I think oh Michelle fer is [ __ ] excellent in it by the way excellent do you mean hot yes and but also excellent like she's great as Catwoman and Walkin is awesome as well because he's just Christopher Walkin I probably didn't know Christopher Walkin before this movie too I think that was probably my first introduction to Walkin because they give him all these like ridiculous long dialogues and he just like he just [ __ ] chews him up like he's got um my favorite quote is power Surplus Bruce shame on you no such thing one can never have too much power if my life has a

meaning that's the meaning like all of his dialogue is like that oh man I if I if I was writing a film and I knew Christopher Oren was going to be in it I would change all the dialogue to be like really difficult to say or just so that he was like stumbling around these sentences he's excellent speaking of old movies uh are you guys aware uh now that they're making Star Wars episode seven and I'm allowed to talk about this because Dave isn't on the podcast tonight yeah that Mark Hamill is now the same age as Alec Guinness was when they shot A New Hope are you serious really absolutely yes I had no idea isn't Harrison Ford

older uh yeah well I guess he is [ __ ] now I'll send you this link and you can put it in the show notes but I've got a clip here of Mark Hamel from it looks like the early ' 80s so it's probably around the time they were shooting Return of the Jedi with him saying that George asked him back then if in the 2010s he would consider coming back and doing episode s where he Luke would be the Aging Jedi who then had to pass down the sword to the younger generation and Mark Ham's Mark Ham's comment is eh probably not yeah well he did yeah he did of course he did

that's really interesting though yeah cuz Al Guinness looks old in those movies to me yeah that's right but I mean have a look at some pictures here and um M H's looking old too I know that find out Mark Hamill was Mark Hamill Mark Hamill 63 that's you know it's decent yeah I keep forgetting like yeah they came out 1977 that was a long time ago yeah yeah that's right and Alec Guinness he died when he was 86 how old was he in 197 let's let's work it out I'm going to have to do some basic maths here it's not my strong point okay so he was born in 1914 so how much does that make him in uh 19 mid 60s

right huh yeah yeah wow that's interesting I watched a movie with Alec Guinness it this week I uh I went back and watched the old uh Lawrence of Arabia and when I I watched it this week I mean literally it took me a whole week to watch it in like half hour 45 minute installments cuz it's a long movie but what's great about it is it's a whole lot of British thespians playing Arabs in what's essentially blackface so you get to see Alec Guinness with dark brown bronzer and black eyeliner and a and a black beard and a robe playing an Arabic Prince thumbs up is he convincing it's a good movie it's a good it's very British and it's it's very

kind of old Hollywood style film sweeping Landscapes and it's three and a half hours long [ __ ] but it's good I liked it Lawrence of Arabia thumbs up very [Music] current I don't have a very good name for this segment hasn't stopped you before well what is it what what is about to happen well I'm hoping you guys can help me come up with one I couldn't think of anything clever so basically what I'm going to do is I'm going to give you the name of a film and then I want you to come up with what you think the name of the porn parody will be great and then I'll tell you I'll tell you if you're correct okay fantastic so um for example um this is

one that we've probably all familiar with uh if I was to say the film Edward Scissor Hands what do you think the porn parody would be called that would be Edward penis hands that's right now I'm hoping that you won't know all of them and that we can kind of Riff on it a bit oh I don't know Matt I've spent a lot of porn or it could be a bit awkward if we do know all of them yeah right so this is probably going to go uh we'll see we'll see uh Mrs Mrs alerson I know you're a listener so um you might want to tune out now HRA par [Music] well this was another one that I was going to um use as an example cuz I think maybe you know it um the film is Saving Private Ryan I'm going to go out on the lemon saving Ryan's Parts saving Ryan's

privates it's um CL it's actually shaving Ryan's privates oh right of course so um all right so I I guess you get the idea yeah all right so um the next one I'll go with is um how much porn did you have to watch to research all all of this well I don't I I just need to know what the names are Luke I don't have to watch it I I have to make sure oh yeah yeah yeah right right mat I have to make sure it's a convincing parody anyone get their breasts removed Matt I think a few of them got their breasts increased uh Chitty Chitty Bang Bang oh I'm going to go ahead and say pretty shitty gang bang Luke shitty shitty gang

bang you're very close it's actually Titty Titty Bang Bang of course yeah so um very close very close that one was a little obvious um it's good you know that book was written by um Ian Fleming author of James Bond was it Chitty Chitty Bang Bang not titty titty gang be clear all right um The Terminator the [ __ ] no Dan that's not it no it's not the [ __ ] oh um well then they've missed the point of parody As far as I'm concerned no no no it's pretty good still still pretty good um does she get eaten by rats and it's called the verman at um no we could probably pitch that yeah it's it's crossed with um

George or 1984 oh no the um the parody is um the penetrator oh uh yep Sor spat is so much better pton pending yep uh I like this one Young Frankenstein oh please tell me it's just hung Frankenstein close very close that that's what I was going to go with it's actually hung wankenstein so very close uh what do we got got they're going for the double pun when it's almost unnecessary do you know what I mean uh Jurassic Park I could go a couple of ways here could just be Jurassic [ __ ] it's not that obvious well it is obvious but it's not that obvious Jurassic Pork yeah you got it oh there

you go all that thought or something about jassic Park and it's Jewish only cast has anyone ever seen a Jewish only porno um no Luke strangely enough no I don't know well speaking of um Schindler's List oh shind fist it is Schindler's fist oh god look I mean you know like I you know we make jokes about everything here and you know nothing sacred but honestly if you get a call from your agent hi yeah just got a new film for you yeah yeah it's an adult film no problem no problem I've done a ton of them yeah um it's a parody of uh Schindler's List uh and it's called Schindler's Fist and it's just about a Nazi that just fists the Jews yeah um yeah I might pass on that actually that

could damage my career potentially Jes we'll do a couple more Yep um Angels and Demons well actually no no no yeah Angels and Demons you know the one I mean the D Vinci Brown yeah yeah yeah Luke any ideas no and demons um SE um yes angels and Sean it's actually called The Da Vinci load 2 angels and Seaman oh God which I think is TR to catch you yeah it's excellent the D Vinci Lo uh Forest hump Forest Hump Forest Hump no uh forkin Gump right really okay yeah um uh ET the

Extraterrestrial oh God something about an extra testicle I'm assuming yeah pretty close yeah yeah it's actually called ET XX the extra testicular uh that's that's odd they could have called it e he yeah true um what do we do what we we'll do one more we'll do one more I don't want to waste them all although I'm sure there's a a wealth of them but um this one just made me laugh a lot Harry Potter and the Sorcerer is stoned so you could do a drug movie called Harry pothead and the Sorcerer stoned but I don't know about a porno um something about source oh forcing her I'm not going to stop you just keep

Harry Potter forcing his bone that's my guess forcing his bone Luke I think you might be on subject there with bone that would have been clever oh it's not no they've gone for the the less clever option but it's quite a bit funnier I think go for it Hy Potter and the sorcer as balls I'm Googling that right now yeah fantastic uh yep it's a gay pornographic film oh well you could have told me that before I started to Google it don't worry about it it's fine oh and it's in 3D of course it is yeah Horry Potter and the sorcerers balls who's watching did porn in 3D can I just well maybe

gays go on maybe it's important no I just want to read you the um the cast and credits list of Horry Potter and the sorcerers balls please do all right so um we've got Luke Markham as Horry Potter right Matthew Rush as vder Mo [ __ ] yes excellent Cameron Adams as himy grain him [ __ ] off Eddie Diaz is Ron right and Mimi in first as [ __ ] Hagrid [ __ ] Hagrid yeah that's awesome yeah that's a quality uh quality film sounds it that's all for this week thank you for listening and we hope you enjoyed the show if you enjoyed it then please

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