iSummon: Steve Jobs Ouija Board Séance

[Music] welcome to multiple nerdgasm your destination for all things [Music] nerdy all right everyone Thanks for backing us on Kickstarter here we are so what are we doing today boys um we've gathered together to summon the ghost of Steve Jobs from Beyond the Grave to ask the questions he wasn't able to answer before he died died is he buried uh he is buried yeah he's buried I didn't think they were allowed to bury you if you died of AIDS uh I thought it had to be a chromation I'm not sure he died of AIDS I think sorry complications resulting from AIDS kcer ker as a result

of AIDS the big two cancer AIDS yeah crates yeah he died of crates so uh he died uh from what was it liver cancer pancreatic pancreatic canc pancreatic crates right right which he ignored at the start and tried to use herbal supplements realized quickly that that does not work yeah you know what's better than alternative medicine medicine medicine yeah yeah yeah well I feel bad for him um yeah he did admit later on that maybe he was a bit foolish a bit foolish yeah just goes to show no matter how much money you have you can still be pretty [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah well in his case he was pretty [ __ ] yeah in a lot of ways well you know what I hope more than anything else about tonight is that his children don't watch this

so if you are one of Steve Jobs's kids put a link in the comments put a comment in the comment section below and let us know what you think of um the way that we've metaphorically urinated on your death grade okay so uh we're doing this because uh we originally were talking about this on the podcast we had one question to ask Steve Jobs now it was so long ago I actually remember what that your was uh sorry who was you I are you on our podcast so does anyone does anyone remember uh what the question we originally wanted to ask was it was uh The Story Goes that Apple um named the Macintosh they Nam the Macintosh the Macintosh because it was his favorite type of

apple apple however you had another theory well I was watching an episode of get smart on Triple one hits available on fox tail we sponsored by fox trying to I'm just wait wait for the money to roll in so uh was watching an episode of get smart and there was a code word that the two agents said to each other to identify themselves as agents and the code word was Apple Macintosh right right so if we met in the hallway right or the elevator outside say y or in the back or in the Park yeah or even upstairs in your

room um then I would say Apple Macintosh and then we know that was all all okay and you would know it was on I would know that you are about to give it to me hard so Al the backos gives yeah with a name like MacIntosh and me hell I'm Macintosh so his favorite scarf so what we're going to do Maia scarf no it's a it's a coat it's a coat a rain coat we're going to we're going to try well no I look I thought that that was too much of a coincidence to have not been the cause yeah interesting although I mean it is a type of Al I know never I've heard the story I'm starting to think that it's pretty

self-explanatory you were there the first time the fact is we can't ask him no and if he was here we'd ask him mhm the other thing we would we we wanted to address uh was we've seen a number of kickstarters over the years where people donated money uh the kickstarter took their money took their money and then kind of never happened in one way or another now we I'll be honest we almost almost on borderline because it's been a little while yeah and I don't know what I'm going to get to edit this mat so I'll be honest I'm still I'm still in that camp but if you're seeing this now it means we did do it and so we we need some congratulations so congratulations we also saw a lot of kickstarters that were really dumb ideas

that people just really got on board and thousands of people threw in money this was not one of those so to the five people that donated cash to us thanks how do we get the $500 goal all to be honest people are in this room right now no look we do absolutely there are people who I don't I don't know who you are you donated money one person thank you than you the rest are our family they were the first one and can I say to Luke's mom who I think thre in the most a special thanks to you thanks thanks Carol from Sydney so uh we're going to try and raise the ghost of Steve Jobs yeah with this Ouija board yeah we're going to try and communicate through the medium of this Ouija board here and we're going to ask him some questions and some

questions that some uh listeners have written yeah that's right so we've got our question we're going to start with that um test the waters and then we've got a a few things that our listeners would like to know can I just say before we start uh I'm very hesitant about doing this um why is that I don't really want to do it I don't know it's just messing with the dark arts to me as a materialist it seems you know hard nothing's going to happen but if I get haunted by the I really [ __ ] pissed off yeah and I think we can all agree Dave's mom is not to know we did this because I will no longer be allowed in Dave's house jeez I I can't wait to tell her what I did doing last night I was fcking around get out my house yeah typical Dave do still live with his

mom before we begin I think it's important to make sure that he's around cuz it could be that we're communicating um with a ghost that we don't even we don't know if it's going to be Steve we don't know but I took the time uh to on my iPad which seemed appropriate to obtain some um software which uh alleges it's able to detect the presence of Paranormal Activity of um ghosts that great classic film yep yep so if anyone's watching that nearby click to the the link below to download the torrent Paranormal Activity who's who's sponsoring that we're going to be in so much trouble on this we're going to be the front page of Mac Rumors the internet's going to destroy us yeah that's fine now the first app I'd like to try is called ghost scan so let's just open this up

here and what what part of the iPad does this used to detect it's obviously headone Jack it's ad supported as you can see Game of War yeah so it's also so did we already spend our budget and couldn't even afford to buy the app out right yeah that's right yeah this is this is ghost sound light let's see if it works first and there we go I've clicked on the ad so uh so they get what's this another ad crazy Kings you've obviously played a lot of games on here um if I had my iPad it it' just be weird porn adver now right so I've got some options here more apps remove ads that sounds like it's money let's start there right settings or start let's let's start what is this a review hit the start button see [ __ ] hell um press finger flat on

scanner can I can I please what scanner it's a there's no scanner on the iPad screen how do you explain I don't know why it was upside down it's a pentagram it's scanny analy scan result this is [ __ ] all right 46% chance of nearby ghost and Panda Pop is a fantastic game out now from the makers of was that game before what the [ __ ] is Panda Pop you got can we just stop filming I want to play Panda 46% chance of nearby ghost near to Luke me but I don't know how many near you I mean you're almost a foot away all right to wait for 10 second this isn't the paid version so we do have to wait

yeah that's right to cool down wait is that done is randomly throw out a variable that's it I don't know what you're talking about Dave it like game of war quite clearly states start start is [ __ ] [ __ ] now who do we want to test I do oh well how did it look it was where your finger was that's strange to look exactly like Luke's fingerprint earlier so who whoa whoa you guys just blew my mind yeah twins 50% okay so so maybe the ghosts over that way so mat if you do this and and we and we get a higher reading than 50% then we'll know that the ghost of Steve Jobs is somewhere somewhere over here wait don't we have to like ask him to come or something first like I said you don't ask him to come you just work him

until he comes right okay is it just the combined energy of the room that wants him here I sent him an invite on my there's no formal invitation or something we don't formally ask him to come all right well we got to check if he's if there's any spirit because it's like it's like a game of Chinese Whispers or if they call it in China Whispers um where you just kind of ask whatever spirit's in the room Steve Jobs here and they go oh hold on I'll check Steve here get Steve yeah no Steve Joby yeah and come in yeah all right so give that of a scin that looks exactly like mine it's it's it doesn't it looks different it looks like yeah well it's it's a power I have let's see skin

result W so it's somewhere I want to watch the kitty video can I just say with all the cat videos and Dick videos that are pretty much making up 90% of the internet right now I think logical progression is that within a year we're all going to be watching cat dick videos yeah right you know what I mean yeah yep yep that's science yeah well start watching those and you can find Matt's Blog in the links below so 16% is gone yeah that's G well look maybe that me for this let's move on to the next app look if is there some kind of Ghost Radar or something we funny should mention that

for [ __ ] sake let's have a look this is uh this is made by North Panda Creative Group cre as a Panda Pop uh here we go detecting it is [ __ ] out feel sorry Matt you need to pay the 99 [ __ ] cents these cost wa there's two there are two entities in the room Steve Jobs and the AIDS the AIDS virus wait that's it's in the room it's in the room it's somewhere coming from over here they're moving there's another one wow this is some heavy some heavy ghost activity in the room yeah okay so I think we can maybe try to all right there's some okay I think I think it's safe to say there are Spirit Spirits present in the M they're here so very scientific why don't we all

try and call out to Steve in some manner do we hold hands or um I think we have to we can do that is this is this no I just want a Hot Heads This is just nice oh don't break the circle apparently that's what I right well it's more of a trapezoid at this stage this is the still by the way that's going to get on the internet I just want you guys to know that right now before the internet starts harassing us into suicide that's right this is the last time we're ever going to have together where we're actually happy see the smiles that's it yeah all right [Music] Sten stepen jobs Sten jobs are you there Steven call him St how do we know if he's there Steve are you there lure

him in with some kale Steve Jobs are you there I can feel something that's my leg shaking Matt has quite firm manly hands he does whereas Luke has soft dainty hands that have never presumably done a hard days look at that they're so they're like like a four-year-old boys Matt's been toiling in the fields true the fields of keyboards all right Steve a lot of people pay good [ __ ] money for this Kickstarter not a lot but five people played reasonable money for this yeah so we want you to come into the room to answer us some questions from the other side we don't mean you any disrespect well I do I think you're a dick but I think your exact words were you were a [ __ ] and you died a

[ __ ] does sound like something I would say yeah so uh with that in uh don't do it for me but do it for the other boys cuz they're very eager to hear what you have to say why the [ __ ] do you all have beards why don't have a beard yeah can you get the memo can't I can't grow a beard well you can't be in multiple beard gasm that's a spin-off serious a shame that's a shame that's what we've been doing for the last three weeks ah right yeah okay so how does this work all right well uh do we know how to use a Ouija board no I you you're the most gothy out of us when I was younger I did I did dabble with the the old Ouija board so uh my understanding is we all Place uh dicks dick we place our dicks onto the uh pick more flops

on should we is it one or two fingers uh what do you feel most comfortable with what do you feel more comfortable with I think most people are comfortable with two fingers two fingers any more than that is not comfortable two fingers yeah just on the three is too many one is too few too few okay all right can we all fit can we alling cuz I mean that's like eight fingers that's right that's a lot of fingers I think we can fit and if it's uncomfortable Steve will tell see if you're uncomfortable with eight fingers so what's what's meant to happen now all right well well we ask a question list yeah and then Steve will answer our questions so um just before we begin because I once our hands are on I can't actually see where anything is so not that we'd have to because it's

going to be the ghost of s that's going to be moving this but me just have a look we've got hello and goodbye yes we've got um I believe this is a mystical symbol of power where the thing is supposed to begin no that's just when we talk about the Jews I'm anymore I'm assuming it'll come up all right a feeling it'll come up um we've got yes and no yeah but people are going to be watching this so it's going to be reversed oh right um we've got rephrase and repeat repeat Y in case you didn't hear us uh and numbers down the side um and if it comes up here then it's an ad for the mystical spirit board which you can purchase from the link below right all right so we'll begin on

the mystical star of ju as I believe it's called I believe so so let's start off with an easy question question Steve are you here what's looking positive I'm not even Ming my head oh what's it say repeat the question Steve Steve are you here wait Steve Jobs are you here yeah Steve Jobs of Apple Computer yeah previously of Apple yeah he's here he's here here ladies and gentlemen I Steve is in the in the house

is that the name of this video Steve is in the house all right it always resets that's going to take a every time do we want to start off with our question go for a yes or no answer or no all right yes or no what gave you the idea wait for the Apple Macintosh wait not all right let's break it down was the Apple Macintosh named after an apple what's going on no no come on he's admitted it who's who's moving it so it's not named after the Apple Steve is moving it Dave what you understand about was it named after an episode of get smart no my

God it was it was it was right now so now we know all right start all right thanks yeah all right so you can tune out now um unless you rode in in which case sorry Steve's just resetting it for us um God and we've got maybe the ghost has entered your lungs this is not good all right so um is is anyone else sweating or is it yeah it's warm in here is it light I feel it's probably feel like I'm going to faint do not lose Consciousness and whatever you do do not put both feet on the floor oh or it will enter your body well there we are all right next question so we've got

some questions here that you the listeners with the viewers of this but the listeners of the podcast um wrote in and the first question which may take a while to answer for Steve is which Android phone should I buy so Steve which Android phone should people buy [ __ ] I hope it's on the Galaxy Nexus it's going to take forever to spell it out I'm hoping it's the S5 I don't I hope Steve knows where things are what I'm not even my I

feel and no [ __ ] [Applause] off well there you have it you should get the I he really does like the iPhone yeah oh [ __ ] I can't breathe all right we've got another Apple related question here this could uh require a yes or a no or it could be a long D tribe about um Jew if it comes back to here we'll know it's about the Jew but the question asks are you happy with the eyewatch specifically are you happy that it came out with infinity different versions it's not called the ey watch first of all Apple watch why did they call it the eyew watch because that sounds like

you're a pervert I what the iPad doesn't but anyway back to the question are you happy with the Apple watch and the 50 million colors that comes in oh thought it was going oh going to smell I was really hoping go for a yes or a no wait oh that's rude Steve is there a one for space all right so for those who don't know [ __ ] no [ __ ] hell he was a man of few words but he made those words um that's uh that's all right I'm writing that down okay so [ __ ] [ __ ] no

no wow that's it's just some powerful [ __ ] all right so next question which I'm sure will'll elicit a very different response to the previous M were you happy with Ashton Kutcher's portrayal of you in the film jobs if yes oh oh he was happy wow okay that El I I thought the fake beard looked ridiculous but that's only cuz I've got a real beard yeah it's nice to a real beard it is it's lovely it's luxurious oh I'm sorry the best is when you you need to think about something you can just you think like this yeah you think power and then you wake up and you go

I'm a man look at this beard man would you like to have it Go just just just go like this I'm fine it's easy to think that's pretty upsetting you know what I love I just love touching the smooth soft skin of a woman or or pre-adolescent boy you know what I mean Steve do you like PR adolescent voice he's going to the Jews oh you heard it here first folks Steve Jobs likes touching pre-adolescent Jewish boys no that's not so I'm just filling that in here under Ashton quiter pre adolescent Jew [Music] jews. AIDS Gallery

Galler BHP okay bring the oil into this okay Mrs E Smith asks what's the quickest way to get from warington County to the Sydney CBD a a p p p what l l what [Laughter] e there you go yes but the listener goes on to say I tried Apple Maps nothing nothing okay all right so uh what seven seven

eight five five well there you go Mrs E Smith you take the 785 bus from warington station all the way into the city thanks Steve how does he know that he's a ghost he know right how Works some of these questions aren't specifically ones that Steve Jobs would know but yeah you know I mean they do they do know everything okay um oh interesting um is it apartment 32A mhm or is it the garbage room right this listener would like to know once and for all what's down there yeah I hope I hope it doesn't want to spell garbage room cuz that's going to take a long time yeah oh is that a three yeah two hey hey all right it is 328 so what kind of rent do you pay down

there [ __ ] like 30 bucks a month [ __ ] a mon oh wow well I guess we're not going to be able to make any more sketches about it now that I know yeah that's right they'll be down there with you trying to suet yeah maybe you should get like the key off that maybe probably yeah does anyone anyone here have any additional questions you I do Steve when will I die let that's morbid it just went back to the Jew so I don't know whether that means you're going to die in the next Holocaust right or whether you're going to be taken out by snipers as you are butchering as many Jews as you can well I'm being UNP Jewish so uh which part probably the most of the nose just the forkin and that's gone yeah that is gone did you um you missed this on the on the

podcast but when you you know when you when you got the snip I didn't get the snip did uh he was accidentally circumcised it was torn you know when you're running through a gate really fast and you can like get something snagged and it tears Dave tore his forkin coming out of his mother's vagina is that true no I was Li if you're listening shout out to you I was born without a forkin because of the the doctors were like the doctors were L like what the [ __ ] did you have a twin who was a rabbi he he cut it off in utero cut it off and then or bit it off a little you and your twin brother was sucking each other off in the womb He Slipped swallowed your forkin choked and died on it yeah yeah you were born and

then a dead baby with a expiated foreskin throat was born and that's the story of your birth don't I'm sorry Mom anything else you want to ask Dave yeah I do actually personal favors for him perhaps well I just uh um Apple's probably one of the most uh successful companies in the world now um but I'd like to know uh whether he thinks that uh it's going to last another 10 years or they've only got a few more years before they start they start losing out how many years Steve n well that's that's oddly specific yeah well he knows n years okay can go see the future he said 10 years but he was running up yeah well he's he's got a certain amount of faith in Tim Cook 9 years worth of yeah I say so and look in answer your question Luke if we're bestoring any kind of ten kinetic

powers on at all sure they can see the the future on I got I got one more question for Steve when Tim offered you his liver why did you turn it down it's going towards the Jews hey [Laughter] for [ __ ] sake all right now I got I got I got one more question for him okay uh I've always wondered if ghosts can affect the the physical world so I would like to know if Steve [Music] Jobs I think I know what he's going to ask well give me a [ __ ] blow job yes all right Steve Jobs will you suck Dave off oh [ __ ] really Steve no come on okay I'm going to ask one more time but more

poly yeah Steve please please please suck oh [ __ ] off Steve come on do it come on suck him off suck him off suck him off suck him off suck him off suck him off suck him off oh goodbye goodbye all right well we pissed him off and he left will you suck me off no no what's a shame well first of all I'd like to apologize uh to Steve's family uh anyone that knew him really and knew what a Kind and Generous man he was that we've just ridiculed him here today although I would to remind you of Dave's uh parting

message uh to him where he said you were a [ __ ] and you died a [ __ ] I would like to point out that we've presented his words here if if anyone has betrayed him as a [ __ ] it's himself and to summarize Steve's words today were yes no iPhone [ __ ] no yes pre-adolescent Jews the number 785 bus 32A and no that's all for this week thank you for listening and we hope you enjoyed the show if you enjoyed it then please subscribe and item to receive episodes automatically we'll see you next [Music]

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