Shows About Retards: Satoru Iwata's Death & Amy Schumer's Star Wars Shoot

welcome to multiple nerdgasm with your hosts Matt it's all bit hearty so I don't really understand it Luke is that a little s penis Dan I accidentally got soap in my urethra and sometimes Dave you don't understand how sick it makes me feel the fact that I wanted to have sex with my own daughter and occasionally Cherry smallo maybe you wake up in the middle of the night with a little sashwat cleanis inside of you multiple nerdgasm your guide to All Things nerdy welcome back again it's nice to be back did we go anywhere or are we just the usual

back um no I've been here yeah yeah yeah I think it's just the usual back I mean I've been here but I mean it's a different here than than you yeah I mean I went to work uh I came home um I haven't been anywhere especially interesting other than that well I mean I spent four days out of this week on a tropical island so I guess I am back oh well there you go yeah do you have a home yet like as in AA a legitimate home I do yes I do have a home now yes so that's your permanent residence for the for the future and you guys are welcome to come and stay because I have in my home a sofa bed ah in the spare room so let it be known henceforth that uh my

place is the official stay over for anyone uh coming to Singapore and I'll I'll also add would that be for all listeners I was going to say I going to say listeners yeah for all for all listeners so um I mean and everyone stops at Singapore you know what I mean like Singapore that's right is like it's like the international stopover how far are you from the airport well you can drive from one side of this country to the other in just under an hour right so not too far yeah that's right I mean the airport's on the on the east coast and I'm I'm on the south coast but it's it's pretty close still okay well I mean uh for the for the foreseeable future

uh I don't know when I'll be traveling across that way fair enough but we'll see uh because the other thing is traditionally uh on the way to Europe I would stop there uh but I'm pretty sure by by the time I move I next go to visit Europe I I won't be in this country either so yeah that's right no right and there's a quicker way from the States to Europe than going by Asia exactly well well I can see that something exciting happened this week for both of you uh the same thing uh maybe more exciting yeah maybe more exciting for Dan but probably not really no not necessarily and I'll tell you why not just because Luke is probably ecstatic about getting his second Xbox one but I bought my Xbox One and haven't yet bought any games so I haven't been able to really embrace

the experience of it yet H did you just forget or I didn't want to buy a bundle right because I don't want to play Assassin's Creed Unity right and I don't want to play Halo uhhuh and so I just wanted the [ __ ] console I didn't want to connect and I didn't want [ __ ] game I wasn't going to play that's what I need basically we need another one of those in this house were you able to get that I was eventually able to get it okay so that's what I need to find yeah So eventually I got that uh and then the place I bought it from was not a game shop it was kind of a like a bits and pieces shop right that

had mostly um statues of Japanese women wearing not a lot of clothes right and um okay so they didn't have any gam what I'm saying just a traditional corner store in Singapore that's right exactly right so they didn't have any games so I didn't buy a game from there and then I walked to my local shopping center and the game shop there had some games but not the game that I really wanted and so I just left it and now I'm kind of just feeling like maybe I should have just bought something what um what region are the games there are they you know what I don't know I have a feeling it's the same as Australia I I believe that the it should be the same cuz they're not

locked anymore they're not region locked so you should be able to put any game from anywhere in is that true interesting Yes except for China that's interesting so I could have bought I could have bought games in the US when I was there last yes H oh that's interesting all right and so might I recommend just buy it digital well you may recommend that but it is cheaper to not do that that so I I may not take you up on that it's significantly significantly cheaper to to buy them uh online not digital like as in on if I go on the Xbox to buy Batman Arkham night it's $99 if I buy it online it's $60 which that is not not an

insignificant discount and yet I still got the $99 one I guess the advantage is that you get it instantly or not instantly but more or less immediately that's true but that doesn't bother me you don't have to get up and change discs why you don't have to do that anyway yeah you do no you don't there they only come on one disc no no no no but if I change games right right okay that doesn't happen that often for me well cuz all you play is The Witcher yeah exactly play four different games today what do you mean change discs there is only one disc The Witcher three disc yeah and Luke has to constantly change between Halo games so that's right yeah yeah well I did end up buying a bundle when I got mine cuz yeah it's impossible to buy

just an Xbox yeah I did manage to get one with without the connect so now I'm selling all the games that I got with it cuz I have Don need them twice well Dan managed to get one why can't I I'm going to have to see if I can figure that out because I mean I don't like I don't want the extra games I also want to spend that much if I can avoid it cuz I just I literally just want the cons exactly right yeah and if I'm paying like 150 extra bucks to get a bundle that I would not well then that's you know that's a game was that was that the was that was that the difference roughly uh yeah cuz I think I paid five some like 550 for mine and it's like 750 700 for the bundle depending on which bundle you get Australian not Australian surely what's the um exchange rate you

know what this is probably not interesting we we'll talk about this later so you've got an Xbox now you decide I have an Xbox yeah yeah I decided is the point and I followed through so I now own an Xbox have you at least set it up yet plugged in plugged in I have set it up watch some YouTube on it I've not watched any YouTube on it no I created my avatar I've not even gone through and tried to find you guys on it so that's my next step yeah right well we should still be friends on there we were friends before we should still be friends it carry over I don't know nobody came across with that yeah yeah did you create a new account or did you just sign in well here's the thing I tried to sign in right yeah and it wouldn't it wouldn't allow me to and I

just assumed that was because you couldn't sign into the same account so I started a new one but you're telling me that that's not the case that is not the case yeah you should I would pref been able to sign in you're right son of a [ __ ] all right well I'll be experimenting with that you can still do that there there time yeah that that could that could be instead of playing a game you can just try and log in yeah well that sounds riveting all right so uh sad news first of all get out of the way um Nintendo president satoro iata has died of AIDS of

a no he died of uh what did he of a uh some kind of growth or tumor or something didn't he some kind of yeah AIDS yeah just AIDS no he did he had well it's not AIDS but it's the other big one he had cancer canc yeah he was a young man he was in his 50s I mean it's only a Stones Throw from where we are now you know yeah I know yeah it's uh tragic but he was he was the man oh a bile duct tumor he died of Jesus so yeah he was the man who brought Nintendo and gaming to the general public with the Wii and the and the Wii U so do he startup as a developer there uh he's you know what I don't know exactly I know that he he was a big

gamer he wasn't just a businessman he was actually yeah he really loved games and so he started I think he started and just worked his way up until he basically started running it and then right ran it into the ground well it's funny actually because while looking up stuff for this um for talking about this which I briefly did I found an article about um how everybody was wrong about the Wii U uh and I was like what and so I looked I think it was on in gadget and it was basically an article about how everybody was wrong and the Wii U's actually genius and I'm like this really does happen when people die like the thing that people used to think was [ __ ] suddenly everyone's like he was such a genius like no the Wii U is still still

a bit [ __ ] like yeah I mean going to go to his funeral and say he lies a failure because the wi U is [ __ ] but yeah I'm not just going to start thinking the Wii U was great just cuz he's dead yeah it just it really confused me because I because the headline was um why everybody was wrong about the Wii U and I was like what and I clicked on it it was saying basically about how even though it's not a current gen console technically it's the most fun and I'm like w okay nonsense yeah anyway so sad news uh and uh I guess that would make aat our geek of the week we

yeah I mean that's that's a bit upbeat for for a dead person oh but uh well it always is these days nothing we can do about that no no actually that's not true uh of late we've been doing custom ones um I'd like to avoid that as much as possible in future that's fair that's fair I have to go away and make them so yeah yeah I and to be honest I don't really know what I would do as a custom geek of the week for him so unless you've got a very compelling suggestion look even if you made it Nintendo themed I mean I don't think it' sound any less upbeat so yeah maybe we just go with what we have oh it's a bit of Chip tune in that one anyway oh it does it absolutely does all right what else has been

happening well uh oh Star Wars we can talk about stars talk about Star Wars oh we got some Star Wars news this week do we we do we do let's go R2D2 and c3o been in a compromising position caught on film yes Lucas film's not happy about it they've uh no they've uh they've been caught in bed with a comedian uh who I had to look up who she was I didn't know who she was yeah look my first question I'm glad you looked it up because can somebody first explain to me who Amy Schumer is and why I should give a [ __ ] about her uh I don't know I know that she's a comedian that's as far as I got you mean like a standup I think she's a yeah she does stand up I think she's stand up she's just got a film

coming out soon but I think you might like her I think she is that sort of um offbeat okay right okay so so she'll be she'll beat you off Dan she'll beat you off that's great I enjoy I enjoy that um and I'm just looking at these photos here and she's like a naked chick in bed uh with Star Wars characters um she's uh sucking off a light saber yep um filating for all the um Latin speakers out there uh right and I assume that she can only do this because I mean this is considered fair use because it's parody right I mean if yes other than that this looks like it's a complete breach of copyright yeah I think um I mean Lucas

film have said that they are very very unhappy about it about the photos because they're in they're in GQ Magazine yeah yeah they're not just some some internet thing no so they're in she's on the front cover of the Magazine with cio's finger in her mouth um and there are a bunch of sexy Star Wars photos so it's her and a bunch of Star Wars characters uh and they're really annoyed about it they said um can I imagine where's the quote Lucas film and Disney didn't approve participate in or condone the inappropriate use of our characters in this manner so I mean that's fair enough you know it's their company I like how particularly in the um the one where she's in bed with 3PO and R2 she's kind of

twiddling r2's little little knob on the front of his body there his little knob there y so that's pretty funny so yeah I don't know anything about this girl uh other than that she post for a bunch of photos with Star Wars characters so I can't comment on her other work but this is pretty funny I guess I mean if she wanted to get our attention I guess this is the way to do it you know I mean if yeah exactly Star Wars characters as specifically yeah no that's what I mean I mean if we're her intended target audience then mission accomplished because if this wasn't Star Wars characters if this was rugby players then I wouldn't give a [ __ ] about it yeah yeah exactly so yes interesting um does is this really fair

use though this seems a bit far it does seem to be I mean she's obviously purchased replicas of these suits and put them in contexts that imply that these are Star Wars characters and there's no doubt about it you know yes well I think well GQ would have looked into this because Disney are very so happy yeah I guess the danger is thought chance they would cuz somebody said oh there's no way you could mistake this for um for official Star Wars stuff but I mean they're pretty they're good costumes I mean you could I if I saw this and I didn't see the headline about Lucas film being pissed off I would think oh wow I didn't didn't expect that kind of they'd be cool with it yeah

exactly right yeah I like my assumption would be oh wow why is Disney doing that cuz you just assume that that you need permission to have these characters in yeah yeah and you would assume that Disney didn't acquire Lucas film to make Star Wars themed pornography yeah yeah well I me poor not pornography to be honest it's not very good I can't see anything no I'm not getting off at all no and I'm trying like I am really trying yeah do you think they're going to make the Empire um trucks back porno have they not yet they made the first one I don't know if they made it well I guess you know like the rule with all sequels if if they made enough money out of it then they'll make a sequel if you haven't seen it Luke I'm sure it doesn't

exist yeah porno so I uh um no not yet not yet okay it's still just a first Star Wars triple X it's in pre-production I'll keep an eye out for that I read a hilarious article this week um that somebody Fox Fox News it was a Fox News article saying that um there's an inappropriate and highly offensive Star Wars toy on the market and I couldn't wait to go to the article and and and watch it and I was thoroughly disappointed but you know what the inappropriate Star Wars toy is it's a slave layer figurine and you know why it's inappropriate because she's in a bikini she's in the slave layer costume yeah it's it's not anything additional to

that it's just that the Americans now for some reason now out of the [ __ ] blue are up in arms that slave slave layer is a little bit provocative he gives a [ __ ] I know don't know what's this world coming to you got to be offended about something that's all I know you've got to you got talking about it too it's like um it's the most even notice how like Fox News gets a little factious about things like what [ __ ] Star Wars is Fox News like don't be all like oh it's this thing called uh I've got it written down here Star Wars and um according to the Box this is Princess Leia uh you know it's like you [ __ ] know who that is all right yeah right report on it everybody knows who don't be an

idiot yeah well it's so what they're worried about kids playing with it even though kids have been playing with [ __ ] Star Wars figures for however long yeah I mean isn't the argument these are kids movies now maybe the movies from 1984 get over it yeah speaking of uh things that are set in Space the moon set in space mostly yeah most of the time it is yeah so um got some good place for it we got some Mo any moon news yeah we have a g we do have some Mo moon news do we have a jingle for moon news yes we do Matt news news on [Music]

Theon all right and that was that was whatever it was mhm so how you going with not creating the new ones can that be to the tune of Dark Side of the Moon I'll I'll come up with something yeah well remember how I was going to go to Mars but never got around fin finishing the application you weren't going to go to Mars starting the application half of that story is true yes yes I remember when you didn't go to Mars yeah and you definitely didn't fill in the application form yeah well now maybe I could just set my sites a little bit low maybe I can go to the Moon okay y the new head of the European space agency has come out and said we his first uh what he said he said we should look to the Future beyond

the International Space station we look for a smaller spacecraft in lower or orbit for micro gravity research and I propose a moon Village on The Far Side of Moon I like to think when he got that just just talking through that and everyone's like sorry can you just did you say we're going to build a village on The Far Side of the Moon I don't he sort of just adds that on at the end drops that in the fact that he says Village too I mean what does that conjure I'm imagining the most adorable storybook town that would be great I think his idea behind it was not to be sort of a one sort of country to do it that a village like all nations on Earth should go up and work together and all that crap

right I like how he says the Americans are looking to go to Mars very soon and I don't see how we can do that before going to Mars we should test whether we could do Mars on the moon all right Europe that's the attitude yeah that's right well it's probably a good place to test some stuff out yeah agre if anything went wrong would you want to be four days away from Earth or months no I agree if they're not confident in going to Mars don't do it don't try it but I love it that they that they really they're aligning themselves with America by saying we've got a space program just like America and they're going to go to Mars and we're going to do one less than that yeah we we can't do that but we're going to do something interesting as well imagine the imagine

the Space Race during the Cold War was like that you know it's like oh America you're going to Mars you're going to the moon but but we're going to go to a really high mountain yeah the Russians have launched the first satellite into space um we strapped this walkie-talkie to a pigeon uh we're pretty impressed yeah now look I'll be honest if they put a village on the moon mhm mhm I I I would go there I wouldn't I'm I'm not stupid enough I'm not stupid enough to say I would go to Mars cuz that's that's Madness but the moon we've done that like if someone said hey here's a ticket uh I can't go cuz I've got I've got a babysit but do you want to go to The Village on the moon I'm in yeah yeah you know what take that down a notch if if they built a village in

Antarctica and somebody was to give me there's a weather station and they do research there but you can't just go and have an overnight stay as a tourist you cannot you can get government art grants to be sent there if you can prove that being an Antarctica um will help you as an artist right I considered once telling them I was going to ride a sitcom set in that weather station and see whether they'd send me but like Luke I never filled out the form Jenna's Grand father was stationed at the military base in Antarctica for two Winters really two Winters and how long is one winter in Antarctica Matt I don't know uh that sounds a long time yeah it was from what I understand um yeah he's he's one of the few people to

do it twice from what he tells me right so it's also it's the the the South Pole station the one that was uh in the xfiles movie and stuff it's pretty interesting actually yeah um yeah yeah yeah I have a friend that was stationed there for 6 months really and it's funny cuz I made my joke about huh why would I want to go down there it's just a weather station he went D it's it's much more than just the weather station I mean there's the there's the mess hall and the the barracks I said is there a bar and he said we've made our own bar and we do hang out at it after work yeah the drinks are free cuz we brought all the alcohol with us yeah yeah that's like the uh it's like the shopping center underneath uh Barbara Stan's house what have we talked about this

before explain no have we not talked about this no I'm pretty sure we haven't Barbara I've never heard I've never heard of this Barbara stren has a shopping center under her house right underground really yes that she shops at and it's the only place she shops she doesn't go out shopping but the thing is why would she in order to stock a shopping center you have to purchase all the goods right so technically she already owns everything down there right yeah so she doesn't pay for things when she goes down there but she does browse like it's a regular shop that's [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah I know that's like taking privileged to the next [ __ ] [ __ ] level that's all right go bar St in that's that's

interesting what the [ __ ] well cuz she just can't go outside she just does does not want to [ __ ] bother with the normal world that we live in I mean I understand that but if I had that type of money I'm not leaving the house yeah I believe you apparently it's like an old timey street with cobblestones and stuff and shops on either side under her house yes under her house in like a cave in a cave essentially yes I think more of a basement than a cave but yes [ __ ] hell hello good day mend yeah penny for a paper weird yeah totally weird well speaking of weird uh I saw an

article today it's uh sort of funny uh a man murdered uh three Christians mhm mhm uh hilarious in the United States uh it was a mistake though he thought they were Jews yeah um but I love that not only did he kill them because thought they were Jews he used that as his defense in court right um because he said well I'm uh an anti-semite um and so this wasn't murder this was actually a mistake because I thought I was murdering filthy Jews yeah now mat before you make any comments on this do we need to play any Jingles here about about what about you siding for or against the Jews in in any way no no I think I've made my

position clear I'm I'm Pro Jew okay well I mean not proj I I don't go around preaching the gospel of what they have a gospel they don't have a gospel do they um they pre gospel I don't know what they call it pre it's like it's like a prequel to The Gospel though isn't it that's right I don't go around preaching the Bible episode one The Phantom Menace so yeah yeah who's Jud of Binks Phantom Menace in the old test saying the Jewish god is The Phantom Menace uh I guess cuz I'm I'm not entirely sure who the phantom menace was in The Phantom Menace to be honest you know I reckon I reckon Jonah would be the job Binks of the Old Testament like Jonah and the whale oh Misa swallowed by a

whale y y y so anyway I'm reading you loud and clear uh in his defense um Miller sorry he shares your surname spelled differently yeah Dan yeah uh he made a presentation his defense which touched on Caitlyn Jenner AIDS Israel the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan British wartime leader Winston Church Hill the Reverend Billy Graham and a Jewish conspiracy that he alleges is behind the sitcom All in the Family and what did it have to do with him killing people well he he had to yeah he had to because of all those things yeah and I love I love his his phrase here quote there's no legal way to save the the white race yeah you know like so if if if you want to do what's right for your skin

color I guess uh you got to kind of go above the lawm uh the judge said there was no casual or direct connection between that argument and the killings to which to which Miller responded by calling him an egg sucking mule so yeah interesting amusing but not am using because sadly three people died yeah I mean it it literally terrifies me that I share the the planet with people like this you know and maybe I'm relatively safe from this guy particularly because like he's white and I'm white and he only hates non-whites so by default I'm probably safe but even so you know well he's I mean what are these people he he murdered like yeah they were just bring us to another

question why that's a scary thing like he's G out and murdered people like so who had nothing to fear from this guy yeah that's true in fact they lived in a suburb that is predominantly Jewish and I I guess he just figured that was enough right yeah well maybe they were wearing a nice hat on the day so any listeners just be a bit careful and do your research all right yeah yeah if you're going to commit a hate crime make sure that you're hating the right people Luke if if you were going to gun down three Jews um how how would you go about it um while the other brothers are doing time listen up it's [ __ ] crimes I'd just like to intervene for a

second just say to Luke you don't have to answer that question I think I'm going to refrain from this one cuz I I'm not here to help you don't want to incriminate yourself you don't want to incriminate yourself I understand people murder yeah yeah actually that that could be our new tagline we're not here to help anyone commit murder dot dot dot uh I'd click on a podcast if if that was a a uh a Proviso that it was providing you'd be like well what are they here to do yeah oh speaking of murder yeah it's a slight segue uh or manslaughter in this case uh I this week um the singer Randy

BL from Lamb of God or David Randy blly from lamb of God's book came out oh yeah uh I don't know if you guys know about this but uh Lamb of God obviously is a metal band Dan you're probably familiar with them I am um I once uh took their CD when I was working at a music store and um put it in Christian rock and um sold it to a very nice old man uh easy mistake to make oh no no it wasn't a mistake on my part no no I know on his part I mean yeah uh he's got ry's got a book out because uh a little while ago uh a couple years ago now maybe he um the band flew into Czechoslovakia Czech Republic to play a show M uh and at the airport he was arrested uh immediately and taken and put in a cell

uh where they handed him some paperwork that said you have to defend yourself because we believe you're responsible for the death of a young man at a festival two years ago uh so prepare to defend yourself wow and they none of them had any idea about what it was or anything like that uh and he was in prison over there for a long time defending himself soly [ __ ] uh I mean spoilers he's he's obviously he's back home now so that's that's good yeah yeah that's that's not a secret but the book is is really good because the other thing that you may or may not know about Randy is that he was an alcoholic for a very long time and he very famously uh was a [ __ ] when he was drunk so uh if you've seen any of the band's DVDs um there's usually a a story or two told

about him being a [ __ ] and then on one of them you can actually see him and the guitarist getting into a fight and it ends when the guitarist punches him out and everyone says says thank you for punching him out he's a fuckw and he's drunk right okay so it's it's interesting he's sober now um and he's actually a very intelligent guy uh and he like reads a lot and uh it's it's interesting to to read because like I said the only thing that I knew about him previously was from the DVDs and stuff and I was like oh that's Randy he's that [ __ ] kind of thing because I'd only seen you know the old stuff when he was an alcoholic idiot MH mhm um and and so yeah so it talks about that and it talks about his time in prison over there and what happened and

uh uh yeah it's pretty cool if you're into metal uh if you're into L of God or even if you're just um that that that sounds interesting to you um yeah he's basically just pulled up at the airport and said uh you've been charged with manslaughter uh we don't really speak English uh but do your best to defend yourself Jesus so yeah pretty terrifying also not a country that you want to be in a prison uh for for for manslaughter I mean there's not a lot of countries that I'd like to be in prison in but that is definitely towards the bottom of the list yeah exactly so I recommend you check it out do we want to um if we've got two audio segments this week do we want to split them up okay sure uh but where where

would you like to uh place yours you want do you want to do yours now and mine at the end or mine now and yours at the end we can do mine now if you want it's it's not even mine look do you want to hang on a sec I'll I'll I'll see I'll see what the uh sure the uh the person in question wants to do yeah hang on a sec Terry Terry what do you want to do your segment oh yeah [ __ ] you all right come on hang on all right yeah no he's going to do it now uh I'm going to I'm going to go take care of some paperwork sure just because we've only got one microphone and yeah yeah exactly um and it's probably best if I'm not here to be honest so all right um all right I'm off just you know how to use yeah I how to use a pair of [ __ ] headphones how you

going guys hey Terry hey Terry hey what's going on hey all right nothing much um hey listeners how's it going um I really appreciate all your kind messages and [ __ ] um so um keep writing in and telling me what you want to hear and stuff um I've uh I've decided that um I'm going to do a segment now where I um I do a bit of research on on like films and documentaries and stuff yep so um what I've done um you might have seen um there was a documentary made about a Bigfoot um many many years ago um and it seems possibly there was um some some misinformation uh you know kind of you know how when they make like when Michael Mo makes a film he makes [ __ ] up

yeah that kind of stuff yeah yeah so a little little bit something something like that about this documentary so um I've done some research and I've found this this slightly different version of events online um uh it's it's uh somebody's put it up anonymously um and they just called it something more so um I'll I'll um I'll I'll just read some segments from it so uh I mean you can probably figure out what the documentary I'm talking about is um let me just get started here um George henders lied in bed alongside his wife he could not Slumber every thought that he had was filled with one man or beast even though he knew it was horribly wrong he turned over in bed and

picked up the sheets and glanced at his alarm clock 300 a.m. it read mournfully God darn it he murmured angrily and stared at the body of his sleeping wife she was pretty but she was nothing compared to the vision that slept peacefully and innocently downstairs George thought about his options for a minute should he give into temptation he drew a picture of Harry in his mind and felt hard but then he looked at his wife and didn't feel anything decision made so um as you can see uh it I mean I don't remember this happening in the documentary or maybe they cut this bit out yeah um oh uh George carefully crept downstairs to where Harry lied his sleeping form went up and down angelically as he breathed delicately just all of a sudden Harry awoke he had

smelled George approaching from a mile away Harry you noticed I've arrived said flustered George who was blushing really red and looked really abashed that means say no more in in in Sasquatch I don't know if you speak yeah sorry I I'll I'll just translate I'll translate into English sure from now yeah that would be great say no more Harry whispered his eyes narrowing and his paws pouring for George's face Harry Harry you know I can't I have a wife and kids and I can't ruin their life I can't George sobbed and his tears mingled with the fur on Harry's Hands so um it's quite a tender moment really um let's move on um uh Harry's Hands explored the terrain of George's body and wandered Southward George knew that it was wrong but he

didn't want to be right Harry Harry Harry George groaned and Harry whispered seductively screw your family screw all of them screw me like you're an animal and let's run away to the woods together and have sex a lot with pleasure George replied um all of a sudden the lights came on in the dark room and three other people walked in with their eyes boiling with rage honey what are you doing my dear said N Mrs Nancy Henderson in shock what the blazes is going on here Dad oh my God it's totally not cool that you're doing this I'm so mad he like totally ate my cors oh my God Sarah cried Dad Dad I'm so mad I'm going to get my BB gun daddy why are you doing this said the little Ernie tears streaming down his cheeks so they got busted um I know I know what's going on here it's as clear

as the Bigfoot juice all over Dad's face smiled Sarah sarcastically he's cheating on you George cried he had nothing to say in defense of himself suddenly he rubbed his face clean of the tears and Je and said I am going to live with Harry in the woods I love him I'm sorry to hurt you all this was a mistake Harry is the man for me Sarah and Ernie cry but Nancy said I understand that this is the quest that the Journey of life has made you Traverse upon go forward and find true love goodbye George I will miss you but I can always get together with that woman next door with the chah George and Nancy hugg platonically and he waved goodbye to his kids there were no tears now Harry smiled at George I'm glad this all worked out now let's go George hopped on Harry's back and

Harry and he ran off to the wood together as one so yeah that's um that's a true story of um of Harry and and the Henderson I guess like you know U I found this on uh a website called uh fanfiction.net um right yeah so I guess that's some kind of documentary research website news blog yeah so uh basically I'm going to I'm going to go on there every week and just try and uncover the real facts about you know all the that I've seen like uh yeah like I heard there's a new um documentary about the the the Star Wars M so I thought maybe next week I'd um I'd have a look at some uh some behind the scenes truths about that please do all right do you think the wampers from Star Wars are related

to Big that's a great question what's uh what's is that one of the the the things that flies a spaceship with um h no no that that's a that's a Wookie I'm talking about the wampers they lived on the The Ice Planet the ice Planet oh like an abominable snowman yeah yeah right but they're called wampers they're called wampers are they uh are they sexy I you can be honest you're you're you don't have to answer question look it's just the three of us there's no one else listening just be honest L they look cuddly they look cuddly yeah I like cuddly The Diplomatic answer look out Matt's back um I'm going to have to get going um but yeah right in tell us uh tell us what you want to hear um Terry smallo um

twitter.com smallo um I'll try and get that set up for next time and um hopefully it's not taken cuz I only just thought of it and um and I'll be back bye see you bye I think you're the only Terry small shoe oh I know yeah of course all right bye bye bye all right see you see you Terry uh uh did I me say anything no no no no no point re no Terry being Terry I figured I figured so moving on uh I saw a film this week um and the the film was called Transformers dinosaur at least I assume called that um have you guys seen this I know we've talked about it before yeah yeah I've seen it you've seen I still haven't because I went to watch it once and then

saw how long it was and went I'm it it is so incredibly long it is incredibly long now I watched it on a plane well it's funny you should say that cuz I watched it on a boat and not only that but but I watched it dubbed into Indonesian and then subtitled back into English so [ __ ] hell it is possible that wasn't getting the full effect that the filmmakers intended but um [ __ ] me is this a long movie and I am sick to [ __ ] death of movies deciding to be hours and hours and hours long like yeah if you can't tell a story in 90 minutes make a series don't make a movie well especially for a movie like this this is a perfect 90-minute movie yeah it's Transformers yeah it's like this it's not Shakespeare we don't need [ __ ] oh man it goes on and on and on [ __ ]

movie it's nearly that's 2 hours 45 minutes [ __ ] hell yeah it just uh it's I I really got bored with it I was on a plane and uh I remember that I paused it at one point to I don't know play my [ __ ] DS or something and then later on I was like might as well finish it I guess since I'm stuck here for another eight hours yeah yeah so and here's the thing I don't even want a really really good movie to last two and three quarter hours right right and this is not a really good movie at best this is an okay movie at [Music] best I really didn't like it no I mean neither did I look I mean it was dumb it was so dumb it's got a really really good soundtrack that's

all I can say about it so what they really just made this cuz they needed to print more money didn't they oh yeah I'm sure they did yeah like Mark Walberg as as a nerd in this is just so unconvincing yeah yeah it's like oh yeah you're just this nerd who somehow manages to find six hours a day to work out at the gym yeah and then by about halfway through the film we've forgotten that he was a nerd because he's just a [ __ ] Action Hero yeah that's right he doesn't do anything nerdy ever again yeah ridiculous ghh and it's got his stupid daughter in it and that guy the forget about

it yeah look it's not uh it's it's no Transformers darker than Moon that's all I'm going to say which the original transform which I also had on Buff [ __ ] yeah Shuff yeah I'm going to watch one of the Transformers movies one day have you not seen any Transformers movies I've caught bits and pieces of them but never watched more than 15es if you go back to the original Transformers movie M it's really good you'll yeah the first one was good yeah okay the second one was really bad the third one I liked yeah I mean the third one was [ __ ] but it was enjoyable yeah I mean made me laugh in spots and yeah yeah I me a bit ridiculous but uh I thought it bit weird cuz I heard that Megatron dies in the

first one but then he just comes back um sort of yeah okay there's well we don't have to worry about spoilers but at the same time I don't just want to make this podcast about us just explaining the part of the Transformers [Laughter] sagas so watch the first and second one skip the next no watch the first and third Y the second and fourth it's the opposite of the Star Trek movies exactly okay yeah speaking of which actually can I use that as a segue to just just kind of get something off my chest yes yes look yep I just I realized the other day that I'm really starting to hate Simon Peg and and I I never thought I'd say that and I wish I didn't because I used to really really admire him as a comic

actor and I loved everything he did I would watch anything new that he came out with but he is the shitty comedy sidekick in every movie now you know like yeah he he was so bad in the second Star Trek movie know that he almost singlehandedly ruined that movie for me and the [ __ ] plot wasn't even remotely as bad as his character was why did he even need to have a whole [ __ ] story arc in that it's Scotty Scot just suuck Scotty away in the engineering department he's not M belongs and and I just saw the trailer for the newest uh mission impossible impossible and look I'll go I I'll say

this I quite like the Mission Impossible movies all right I'm not going to say they're good movies but I enjoy them but [ __ ] why is he even there and this one seems to be just Tom Cruz doing awesome [ __ ] and him making dumb jokes next to him and I don't understand it I don't get that model and he's in Star Wars as well because JJ just puts him in everything well he's just an alien in that isn't he you don't even see I don't know man I don't know because you could say that Jar Binks was just an alien you mean Jonah exactly well I I do have a bit of a theory as to why Scotty was uh in the last Star Trek movie so much what the that JJ and Simon Peg have become good

friends and Simon Peg wrote it did he is that is that fact he's wrer on it I thought Al Alex kurtzman and Roberto maybe it's just his third one he's a riter on hold on look this up I thought it was kurtman and ay they write all of them as in the old kurtman and ay who wrote the xils uh possibly Alex kurtzman and Roberto they wrote um uh the island did they write I think they wrote The Island well I mean alus Huxley wrote The Island he just he just called it something different and wrote it about 50 years before the island came out but uh Alex curtzman and Roberto ay yeah yeah sorry it's the third one the next one that uh Simon Peg's actually writing ho [ __ ] he Star Trek

Beyond he's writing it weird no but that's well it's even worse he's a writer oh he wrote kurtzman wrote Transformers Revenge of the Fallen as well Jesus right but none of them wrote episodes of The X Files clearly clear clearly I'm turned all around here no they wrote Alias ah right and Hercules and Zena so JJ is just rehashing his old stuff yeah good old J no I know what you mean I used and uh same with Nick Frost Nick Frost was in um Doctor Who last season as Santa Claus and he just didn't need to be there be honest he really he really didn't need to be there um it's just yeah I mean I love those guys but I like their old stuff better than the new

stuff yeah I don't want to get all hipster on this but like I I I can't agree more like the stuff that they did with um the [ __ ] the name of that Ed you mental blank the stuff they did with Edgar R like every single thing but even well up to a point point yeah the last one was terrible um well end oh God God that sucked so bad so they're all they're all they're all washed up now I guess [ __ ] hell no um ant-man's out this week and edar was supposed to direct that and he didn't which is disappointing because I was actually really I'd be more interested in it if I knew that Edgar W had directed it I had this conversation this week I I had to really think about whether or not I was going to go and see

Ant-Man and honestly I'm I'm not going to go I'll watch it eventually yeah yeah I think I'm going to see it cuz someone from work wants to go and they're dragging me along cuz they want someone to watch it with but yeah I haven't really been too fussed about it I've heard it's really good I just yeah I don't know I think they've been advertising it quite a lot like there's you C ad with Ant-Man what yeah okay that's you know you cool the little thing yeah I know Ant-Man ad what the [ __ ] man for them to be cross promotion like that I thought that maybe the movie's not that good c yeah weird well I watched a movie this week that I was really disappointed by mhm

because uh I talked in what I think will be last week episode when you hear this about how much I was surprised by and enjoyed Insidious 2 and before that Insidious I really liked the first two a lot uh and I like the way they tied together I thought the story was cool and interesting uh and you know they the second one called back to the first one in a successful way that made me happy and then I watched number three uh and I will say it was not directed by James ju okay it was directed by uh the person who co-wrote the first two with him okay um and uh I don't want to I'm not going to spoil the second one but the there is sort of a a cliffhanger at the end of the second one and the third one is a prequel which has nothing to do with it so that caught me off guard

immediately because I was expecting the story to continue yeah ites it it does not it's uh it's got some people that were in the other but it's a prequel and uh I don't know it's got some cool stuff in it but it just wasn't wasn't as good it's just I think either because I was disappointed that that it wasn't a continuation of the story that I was enjoying or I think it just overall wasn't as good cuz it was I don't know it's the same kind of thing but it just didn't seem like it was done as well it wasn't terribly scary there was some cool monsters and ghosts in it but yeah I don't know I was really disappointed could be could it be possible this going to be a fourth one which will take up where the second one left off well I'm wondering if it's

because James Juan's off doing a bajillion things now he's going to be doing Aquaman next and he was doing he did a fast and the furious didn't he did he did the last one of those he did and uh so I don't think I just don't think he's going to have time to do one of these and Insidious again for a bit so maybe they're stalling so that he can but was Insidious his thing was this something that he like sted and and he wrote the original I'm pretty sure he wrote and directed the first two with the help of this other person sure with on the writing and then he's gone off to do bigger and better things and and now the the writer has gone and done this prequel like and I'm I'm the only reason I can think that it's not just a continuation is that they're saying oh

just do something else until I get back but that just seems stupid to me like why because they called it's in because it's Insidious chapter one they call them chapters Insidious chapter one Insidious Chapter 2 insidious chapter 3 which is a prequel like it doesn't make any [ __ ] chapters work no so I don't know I was just really disappointed uh some people children seemed to think it was scary I when I checked Twitter I didn't okay I didn't think it was very scary um had some cool stuff in it but um just overall it wasn't I don't know like I said I was just so surprised by how much I enjoyed the others this really disappointed me cuz this was basically what I thought the others were and they weren't you know what I mean yeah sure yeah cuz you

actually went out of your way to watch the second one before the third one came out that's right because I remember that I i' held off on watching the first one for ages and then I we watched it and I was like wow that was really good and then I knew the third one was coming out so I was like oh let's watch the second one and like like I said it like I was really surprised by how good it was so disappointing surprised by how good you said it was yeah yeah all right so one and two on the radar number three don't bother yeah definitely I I definitely recommend you watch one and two I thought they were really good horror movies really clever clever the way they tied in together well I will good but Angus Samson's in there

both what he's in well he's in all three of them that's not really a spoiler but yeah Ang Samson's in there nice well I suppose Aussie director you can have some Aussie cast members y he's uh his American accent I mean it's probably fine but I know that he's Australian so when I he's so Australian as well yeah exactly and he's on all the ads and everything even though I don't know listeners if you've noticed but he he's on a lot of TV commercials he does the voiceovers for a lot of TV commercials like back when that guy from Secret Life of USS he was the voice of every commercial for a while yeah that's so true but um yeah so when he does an American accent in this and it it didn't convince me but I guess if you didn't know any better

it's probably fine yeah probably cious 3 thumbs down thumbs down thumbs down very unexpected sorry James well don't you apologize it sounds like this other dude has to apologize to James Juan that's true sorry for [ __ ] up your franchise I I don't have the jingle prepared and you guys haven't even heard it yet the're [ __ ] up theing they're [ __ ] up the French jingle no we've got a James Juan jingle things I would do to James Juan jingle from last week you guys haven't heard it yet let me find it yeah I think you need to find [Music] itames that's the uh Insidious things that would do to James W nice I was going to talk about

something that I did like but uh I don't know if you guys have seen or watch or are familiar with it um have you guys watched new girl at all yeah I watched uh watch the first three episodes mhm didn't you I recall that you didn't like it yeah I mean I I thought it was okay when I thought that the point was that the girl was [ __ ] and that they were all being really nice to her because she was [ __ ] and then somebody explained to me that no she's not [ __ ] she's supposed to be lovable and then that just turned me off okay they're kind of all bit I'm just so sick of shows about retards like socially awkward people I'm just I just can't do it I can't do it anymore okay all right have you seen it Luke I seen I'm about halfway through

season 4 and then I stopped watching for some reason okay cool yeah we've been watching season 4 man I got to say I've it's pretty funny I've been enjoying it a lot like I don't know what you think Luke I'm a huge fan of Zoel uhhuh so but did you think the show was funny is my question all right good yes all right I don't know I just thought this season so far has been particularly funny so I wanted to mention it I'm a I'm a fan of the show it's I don't know it's just about a bunch of 30 something that they all live together and have these stupid adventures and it's MH I don't know I find it very funny sounds just like our lives man exactly that's why it's hilarious our lives are hilarious more free time than what we do oh yeah yeah really do

have a lot of free time yeah well it's cuz they don't have to have real jobs where they actually have to do stuff they have funny jobs where they do amusing things yeah and then have enough energy after doing that job to go and hang out with friends instead of coming home watching TV until you fall asleep yeah and then in a in a a sitcom when you stay out till 6:00 a.m. getting drunk and then go to work in the morning it's funny it's not hell on Earth yeah that's right all right so I'll go back and I'll finish watching it yeah I see I think look everyone's got that kind of one shitty sitcom that they enjoy mine is um Happy Endings which I just watched through for the second time I don't think I've seen that well it's basically just the premise you explained

oh okay my super shitty one is actually Two Broke Girls oh really I hate that show but I can't stop watching it I've I do you know I haven't watched it I just just the prise so depressing just really didn't seem like it would appeal to me why is it depressing CU horrible show it's got cat Denning in it like her it's got It's got Cat Dennings in it and I like her and I find it depressing that she's doing this show oh sure I think she could be doing a lot better so you just watched to support her yes in case she ever rocks up in case she ever comes around and she's like have you seen my show and you're like yeah yeah I'm sorry we need to talk about that

yeah it could work things I would do the [Music] cats I was going to say we got a jingle but we do now we do yep that's it good enough and what would we do to her we'd support her by watching her terrible shows that's right she's good in uh in the Thor films she's very amusing in thought too I thought yeah I think she's quite a good actress I don't know why she does that show I really liked her in um that movie she did with Michael Sarah where they're looking for the uh the secret gig Nick Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist yeah I mean a bit of a hipster movie but I I liked it yeah that was an all right movie you know who that movie has that girl the skinny girl from The Blonde one from [ __ ] um God what is she in um she's in a

couple of things I know from you mean the really skinny one yeah the one the she ends up throwing up in the toilet in in that film and um she's just in a lot of films that I've watched over the years and then she turned up in that and I was like oh my God I remember you but I can't remember what else she was in oh you're not talking about the skinny one who was his ex-girlfriend you're talking about the one who gets drunk and wanders off yeah yeah yeah yeah she's in a bunch of other stuff like that I've seen over the years and every time she turns up I'm like oh hey I'm remember you and then she doesn't recognize me obviously cuz she's a film star and I'm and I'm nobody yeah and she's like are you even in my house yeah exactly and then as the police drag me off I tell her you know

thanks for all your hard work I'm going to look up who she is now I'm looking it up uh Ari grer gror Ari gror yeah that's her she is in she just a bunch of stuff uh such as I've got Veronica Mars if you Google her the movies that comes up a bad teacher for a good time call The Sitter what's your number yeah I think she's in a a lot of great movies there man so you know what I'm scrolling back through here and I'm like I don't think I've seen any of these films what the [ __ ] do I recognize her from I guess he just met recognize her from following her on the street that's really strange that you're following on the street yes it is yeah it's a bit

strange there must be something there's going to be one there's going to be one where you're like okay that's where I know her from do you know her from this is American Dad no that doesn't that doesn't help do you know her from the Cleveland she's in she's in one episode of Veronica Mar I guess it could be that she's in The Sopranos which I haven't seen yeah and I have seen that and I'm struggling to even think of who she is in The Sopranos Caitlyn is this even the right person one episode of La one thinking wondering now no this is the one you were thinking of this is the one that keeps losing her gum and yeah oh well not who I thought it was there you go listeners that's uh

that's a fascinating fascinating discussion there do we have a things you would do to Ari graer jingle why no because I don't it's not even she's not even who I thought she do anything do with that now I want to know who the [ __ ] I was thinking of well maybe that can be a competition listeners if you know who Matt's thinking of right in yeah and you could win a prize the person that I thought she was if you can name her you win and I look will send you something yeah okay yeah so um so they have nothing to go off except you thought she was that girl yeah look check out some screen grabs from nicora Infinite Playlist she's the blonde girl try to figure out who the [ __ ] I thought she was and then we'll see if we can find out yeah that's even more obscure than anything that Luke's

ever come up with for a for a competition yeah I like it and the prize will be equally [ __ ] you guys uh you guys remember a little while ago we used to have a weekly segment called Kirk orun yeah where uh the idea was that I'd read out a bunch of quotes that were either from Captain James T Kirk from Star Trek or Condon his Holiness the D Lama yeah well I wanted to bring it back because you know it was it was a bit of an audience favorite and but to be honest I I think I really did go through just about everything that either of those two guys ever said right right so I thought well what better way to generate some new material um other than just bringing them both onto the show right right William Shatner and the D Lama and um yeah like they couldn't be

here now because of the time distance and stuff so I I um I spoke to them earlier in the week so um I mean it's just it's just an interview I chat with Dal Lama for a bit and I I chat with Shatner for a bit so Matt have you got that clip there that you can um you can roll for us yeah yeah yeah yeah I'll cure that up um here we go okay his Holiness welcome to the podcast so take us through a typical day in the life of the Dal Lama when you my routine I mean daily routine I didn't necessarily mean your daily routine I it could be anything so there are more and more boys more and more boys yes at young age are you serious oh

yes of course okay I'm human being but why young boys so one on older older one very less smile less smile I mean they're less enthusiastic about being [ __ ] by the Dal Lama yes well Bo is there a less sorted side to your sex life I mean who else do you [ __ ] that also relative relatives how does that even happen I mean how does it initially come up there's possibility so therefore they're bound to happen I don't know if it was bound to happen I mean what does Buddhism say about incest it is wrong and the stuff you do with the boys that also wrong yes well I can't say I'm surprised okay well let's take this up a notch let's hear from our second guest Mr Shatner oh his Holiness

is taking off his robes and happy I'm D I don't know whether to laugh or be impressed just ignore it Mr Shatner as I was saying are you going to entertain us with a story or just going to take a cue from his Holiness and tell us how you like to [ __ ] well I think I was probably born to do that oh okay more of this then uh and I shudder If You Could See Me old legs pumping breath coming hard I thought God I'm too old for this okay well that's probably true his Holiness told us about experiences with incest I assume there's nothing like that in your family my dad had come across 11 12 members of the Shatner family oh maybe that's where it rubbed off this giant of a man then what made you keep

doing it um desperation the uh sense of of inadequacy which is adequacy it's all mixed up uh cuz I don't I I'm uncomfortable so you don't actually enjoy it well that's something I guess I'm most comfortable around horses and dogs and oh Jesus and so I did something that ordinarily wouldn't do outdoors and learn the possessions and get to know each other and um and it turned out to be wonderful Mr shner I'm just going to ask this once how often have you ever had consensual sex with a grown human woman that you were not related to uh infrequently if at all and there you have it so there you go there you go

yeah you know two two great men and they each had a lot to say and uh we forgot to do this that [Music] was yeah and uh just because it's one of my favorite Jingles that I've ever done and I know the listeners appreciated it can we can we flash back to the time that you did Kurt Kurt Kurt Kurt Kurt Kermit or [Music] K or great stuff I believe that was for our 100th episode I think so I love the echo is still going that's all for this week thank you for listening and we hope you

enjoyed the show if you enjoyed it then please subscribe and item to receive episodes automatically we'll see you next time