The Dragon Strap-On: No Man's Sky Launch Problems & Arkham Knight Review

welcome to multiple nerdgasm with your hosts Luke I accidentally got soap in Dan's urethra Dan it was a bit Arty so I doubt Matt would understand it and Matt is that the Luke penis multiple nerdgasm your guide to All Things nerdy I play a sport now well I bought equipment to play a sport go on and I have played it I have played it twice so you mean like you got your Xbox and your play play sport on that no this is it's like uh it's kind of like a video game

except you go outside and like physically interact with other so I don't understand so it's like virtual reality but reality yeah it's kind of like uh you know like have you guys played Mario Golf I'm not sure I have to be honest no I played I mean I know what golf is have you played a golf video game there's a Tiger Woods there yeah there's a type of game called a golf game on computers I've played Wii golf yeah and it's kind of like uh apparently they invented a physical game to go with that um when they made the video games but there's also oh that seems pointless yeah I don't know I don't know why they bothered um this is disc golf as in frisbee golf yeah yeah and I I play that

now you play it like on a team uh we we have jokingly started a team yeah okay yeah that counts do you play against other teams uh no at not at the moment no uh I'm not at that level yet um so there's a league is there I that once you're at that level you can start competing in uh there are there are tournaments there's a tournament on today actually oh at the place where we we've been playing I want you to go and enter that tournament today and next week we want to hear about how you won it I doubt that's going to happen I don't really see how you could lose it something like that so basically you know uh joking obviously you're familiar with golf and you know in general the way Golf Works you have a t and you hit

the ball and then you hit it into the hole on the green yeah that's my understanding of golf yeah well this is kind of like that except instead of hitting a ball you throw discs frisbees basically and the hole is sort of like a pole of chain on it or something isn't it yeah it's like a a big bucket and the chains hang down and they kind of stop the Frisbee from you know bouncing off they're like kind of loosely hung I've seen things like that before when I've been driving past right so there official frisbee golf courses Dan there's a there's a pro shop okay what are you getting at a pro shop for frisbee golf really good Frisbee and a polo shirt I would have SE I'll I'll I'll I'll tell you for

starters my kit that's on the way has got three discs it's got the driver the the mid-range mhm and the putter right so instead of using different clubs to hit the same ball you just Chuck a whole out of frisbee correct wow and they all have different usages and uh when you throw them they behave differently go on elaborate well I mean you know the the there were ones that are designed to be thrown over long distances and there the putter is kind of like a heavier one that's designed to be oh yeah you know tossed into the the bucket and uh and the and the course obviously is uh you know same as a golf course except it's it's for frisbee golf or this golf sorry they're not frisbees it's not child's game it's a it's a game for flying have you got in trouble

calling them frisbees no no no what I love about golf is that uh it's stupid right I was uh right I was outside a sports store here the name of which is sporting and golf equipment and I love it that not even they admit that golf is a sport you know what I mean sure what I've never understood about golf is um how a spectator sport oh God the only thing more boring than playing golf would be watching others play golf yeah I just think get it when they're all there they s of stay around the hole and they CL I have a good mate who goes and watches and he does follow players around and clap yeah right and and this is a guy who you know other than that seems to like some pretty cool stuff see if you

actually look it like with golp the amount of time that they're actually doing something is probably what a whole 2 minutes of the day and the rest is just walking but if they' found a way to make a living out of it then they are winning yeah well I heard uh from from people I was playing with that the disc golf is getting quite popular because Normal golf is very expensive to get started in whereas I bought the you know the starter kit for this for $20 off Amazon and then I can just go and and play and so people are kind of because it's kind of the same thing people are are switching over because it's so much cheaper to play disc golf than it is to you know because you got you a lot of golf courses you got to pay for membership and so you're saying it's

it's not it's not actually a different demographic it's the same people who love golf like it's it's old men so I'm going to see Tiger Woods soon out there with his frisbee Rich old men going oh you know what I could save a bit of money put it into other stocks and shares and just get a frisbee instead of new clubs no okay in that case maybe that's not quite correct those guys are still playing golf it's the younger guys they're not getting into golf because it's too expensive and they're playing this instead H yeah that's not the reason I'm not getting into golf but I do see how brisbee golf would be massively more fun than golf yeah no it is well I mean sorry I haven't played golf but I never intended to so I've played a few rounds of golf played twice it wasn't good either time

I've played Mario Golf on my 3DS oh well you and I enjoy that I like driving the buggy I bet you do in real life golf yeah of course I don't know if there's golf in Mario we don't have buggies in this because it's it's actually just kind of out in the woods so that buggy wouldn't be much use it's a lot more I think it would still make it funner it's more rugged than normal golf at least the course we play at is maybe ours is just you know you basically you take a frisbee to the woods yeah and then you throw it into a bucket the bucket already there or you got to take the bucket every time no no no no they're there they're they're official uh official what do you call them these are official frisbee golf woods so it's the same course every time

you go there holes what's that it's the same course every time you go there yeah 18 holes going to leave that one alone so yeah it's fun I just bought my starter kit and a little bag to carry my water around in I don't know I I just feel like I'm disappointed in you well don't worry there'll be lots of photos up on the Instagram at some point I'm sure once I'm not as rubbish hold on I I I need to know whether you had to buy a specific type of water bottle for disc golf to buy a described to me as a a bottle of water no no no it's to hold the water I mean it's it can be any bottle of water they make the bags you know kind of versatile like that you can put any kind of water bottle in it you

all right you've got a bag to hold a b water I but it's a is it a special frisbee golf water bottle or bag bad guess right yeah just as I suspected y well I mean I guess I didn't have to buy one I'm not say anything else neither am I I think L can just let that go so you've never you've never bought us a bag for a specific purpose like say carrying a a game console I still use that bag to this day that's what I thought that's what I thought I'm going to bring that bag to America all right are you going to bring your Xbox no I probably should though you're bringing window get worried about the trip to America well you can use ours I'm going to have to for some cuz I need to boost

my score a bit while I'm there right really worried about the competition while I'm away you've got your phone yeah but you don't get a lot of gaming score for playing on the phone right right well rightly so I guess cuz it's kind of just it's almost a scam using that phone I'll be honest yeah in my opinion so pretty much I need to get like a th at least a thousand gamer scorer a week while I'm away [ __ ] hell I played through Arkham Knight and I don't think I got a thousand well you'd have to 100% the game [ __ ] hell I didn't I did finish it though by the way oh what you think man what a great story line like it's it's really good no that's what I'm as I said last time last week I'm really looking forward to the re-releasing The Originals and I'm going

to play through them again yeah it's it's so good any I'm you know scarecrow wasn't really in Arkham City that much and uh yeah and I think I think the ones that he's in are better just because of like this is not a spoiler or anything Dan in case you do play these but whenever scarecrow is involved his fear toxin makes you hallucinate and it's just it's just done so well in this trying to think how I can not spoil it in the first one like you'll be playing the game and you think everything's normal and then well all of a sudden something strange will happen in particular in Arkham Asylum go on you can spoil it there's a part of the game where I thought the game had like glitched people actually return the game

to the store to go my game is broken yeah like what the [ __ ] is going on and it's because like there's a section where you you don't know it at first but you've been dosed with scarecrow's fear Toxin and so you're hallucinating but it's like the game just goes like so weird but it's awesome like once you figure out what's going on and like you kind of in on it it's oh it's great and then this this one's uh similar like I don't know if you've noticed uh I'm sure you probably notice Luke you know just randomly if you turn your head in the game like a statue will have Joker's face yep and then you look you you look away look back and it's normal again like stuff like little things like that happen constantly in it and it's like like the [ __ ] it's so good and then the

whole the whole story at the end was just great H you got to play him Dan got to play him yeah you really have to maybe I will because honestly I've played every possible angle of Fallout 4 now so I do need to start something new so I'm I'm not saying anything uh of value because I'm trying to skip around not saying things so I won't talk about it anymore just play them listeners yeah just play them play three games from start to finish yeah yeah don't worry about the one actually the one thing I haven't done in it is all the Riddler Riddler trophies so I mean technically I haven't finished the game yeah cuz that gives you a different ending yeah exactly well I can tell because it's like oh X can't happen because you've got to stop all of the bad guys it's

like well I got to collect all the Riddler trophies The Riddler leaves little question marks around everywhere Dan riddles yeah some of them are riddles you have to Sol some of them are like Puzzles like you have there'll be some contraption that you have to operate to get the uh get the question mark out things like that and some of them are they're not super hard to get but there's just so many of them yeah and you've got to find them all like so I was like you know what n I'll look up on YouTube what happens when you when you do I didn't even think about doing that no I will do it one day all right very good I mean we're talking about video games accidentally do you want to talk about video games for a little bit

Yeah well it's a bit late to ask us that now isn't it well I apologize well I can edit this in earlier this could be the start of the episode exactly uh no no no definitely Luke's saying Dan urethra is the start of this episode in fact this episode might be called Dan urethra but don't we have to uh isn't isn't that going to give the game away all right I'll put that at the end yeah okay bonus so listeners there's a bit of foreshadowing if you want to hear about danra skip to the end and then come back or just text me you guys still playing Pokémon go no you know you know that one night I told you I played it and had a lot of fun that's the one night I've played it yeah

I haven't been play not turned it on since then I've played it a lot uh but I've kind of stopped and apparently so have 10 million other people they've dropped numbers have they yeah it uh had almost 45 million daily users in July uh but they've lost like 12 million of them through August and so I guess it's probably going to be even less uh into September yeah well it have to be CU more countries came online in August so yeah I guess they lost a lot of the you know Australia and America because well I'll be honest there's not that much to do in it like yeah let's be honest the game isn't very good at all right so I don't know I just don't do anything yeah I don't even think to to open it the other like the other day I was out and somebody said oh there's a

poké stop near here and I went oh yeah Pokémon go exists yeah every now and again I'll hear someone say oh there's a rare Pokémon or something you bu and I'll get it out then right but if no one said anything about it I'm not thinking about this game at all I uh I also think that the game takes so long to load compared to other games that I often Tor myself out of wanting to play it during the loading screen you know sure yeah like if somebody just says Oh there's uh Poké stop here I'm like all right I'll start it up and then by the time by the time it's ready I've already walked off you know yeah it interrupts your uh flow of just life waiting for it correct it's like hang on got wait for this to learn and continue with my life yeah I don't know I just uh I I got up to I got level

20 I think oh wow I think I'm level seven and that's all in that one night and that's it for me yeah I got to 15 but yeah it's I probably will eventually get to 16 just when I'm around other people that are playing it but those people are coming few and far between now yeah there's not a whole lot of people in camra No in fact I I read a statistic that say that there's more Pokémon than people camera have you been catching people Luke it could be fun to pass some time when on my trip to America well I like to think you'll have more things to do here plenty of stuff to do yeah that's what I would have thought Disneyland I'm not having a whole lot of time when over there honest yeah when I'm bored at Disneyland I

guess I can play Pokémon go well while H's pushing me around in the wheelchair I could be playing Pokémon that's true while you're waiting in line I don't wait in line oh that's true you don't wait in line I love going to theme parks with you oh that's nice well it is well Luke's Luke's fun to hang out with anyway sure I mean you've been to tons of uh theme parks with me uh and you've never said that to me so whatever get [ __ ] I they were fun with you too Denny boy lost count of theme parks we've been to look yeah I know you're right uh we did go to quite a few but uh when we went I didn't get to skip all the lines yeah that's true we didn't but neither did I Matt and I thought we had a great time lining up for things clearly I was wrong

we did obviously we did I feel awful I feel is pretty cool uh have you guys played no man's sky and I know the answer to this but I'm asking you anyway no I really want to yeah I really want to as well like I really dead set want to and I really do hope that if they do get around to releasing on the Xbox there'll be a game yeah well to what it is at the moment it's cuz I was really excited about it when I saw the first trailers and the heard about what it was and I guess you know everybody else was as well but now that it's out speak yeah yeah all right Dan was really excited um but apparently it's not very good is the short version of it I think the problem that people have is how much it cost as to what the game is like it's a full price game yeah but it's from

what I've read about it seen of it it's more of an early access game M so what the game be in the future it's going to be amazing but at this moment in time it's not there so they shouldn't be charging for a full game now right from what I understand you travel from planet to planet just identifying animals and exploring right yep and it's not multiplayer right so you can't come across anyone else I do what I want can't or shouldn't in the game you can't right thanks for clarifying well and apparently there's a lot of bugs where like people have found see I I haven't played it so you know I'm probably G to I'm going to balls up this description but you know you find a Planet you uh log it in your journal in

the game you find life forms on the planet and then you record those and then you move on but then apparently if you come back later uh just randomly they'll be gone reset ah oh I didn't know that it's not meant to do that no no no it's not meant to but apparently that's a that's an issue they're having and well there are quite a few issues like that uh and now uh it seems like Steam and Sony and Amazon are all issuing refunds for the game regardless of play time uh you know normally on Steam you've got to have played it for less than 2 hours and it's got to be within 14 days I think or now they're just issuing refunds anyway so I mean that's a pretty big admission that it's not that good isn't it for this game by

the time you get past the tutorial and stuff and actually start playing the game you're well over that two hours yeah right yeah it's like a Final Fantasy game it's it's 20 hours before you actually even start playing the game there was a really awesome bug it came out with for people who pre-ordered and got a special ship so what happened was they get the pre-order they get the special ship and they start using that but then if they decided to build a new ship or sold that one they couldn't actually get a new ship and move anywhere because the tutorial teaches you how to build a hyperdrive right if you sell your other ship you don't know how to make a hyperdrive and you can't do the tutorial anymore right so there were these people who just got stuck just on a planet Y

game break bug right there yeah that's been fixed now but I just found that amusing so but there's a there's a story line right to the in the game I I have no idea I've avoided spoilers no no story line are you sure I thought there was like a way to finish the game like there was a there was a plot not that I've seen but I could be wrong oh never mind I've been avoiding spoilers so I think that's one of these things that will be like in the future I think that will be there but at the moment it's just uh that's a bug go explore there a bug where there's no story line it's it's Minecraft without the building look I mean the art in this game is so beautiful that you know if the ambience is good you play for that alone I just hope it is good enough that it's

actually going to be able to one thing I've heard is they played up the the fact that there would be like you know 18 bajillion variations of planets and creatures and everything and they would all be random but apparently because they can't be truly random CU otherwise you know some of them would be implausible and so there are limitations on how random it can be uh and ends up with a lot of stuff just looking the same they all look the same yeah within within you know boundaries so there's like apparently it's it's the it's the old here's a different color Universe well there's like apparently there's 10 types of Planet rough sorry there feels like there are about 10 different types of planet and you just encounter the same types of Planet over and over again

with a few different variations but also the buildings on the planets like if there's buildings they're similar lay layouts and stuff like it doesn't actually feel like it's random it just feels like see here's the problem you can't hype up a game like this so that people are criticizing it before it's even properly released you know like this is just I don't know it's kind of I kind of feel like it's their own fault here you know I think it's actually the fault has been um sort of Sony I think this has really been marketed by Sony as like a a fullon AAA title right it's not it's a literally indie game made by 12 people yeah right like it's not a huge thing and it's sort of like the way Minecraft started started off with nothing and then built into what it was

and this is going to be the same yeah yeah people if he paying $100 for a game now you're expecting a whole game yeah of course yeah I stopped buying Early Access stuff for that reason because um it's just I I I don't know if I mentioned this on the podcast the other week uh did I mention Starbound play I think we played Starbound yeah right but did I talk about have you played it recently no it's completely different play in ages like when when I when I bought it uh and when we first started playing it it was kind of like um Terraria have you played Terraria yep love Terraria so it's kind of like that but in space right and you had a spaceship and you it was basically

Terraria except you could fly to other planets and then and then do the same thing on other planets so you you would start with nothing kind of like Minecraft and you would build you would find resources and you would build things and then you would kind of you know move to another planet once you had enough stuff to make your ship work enough fuel but now uh I haven't played it in like could even be a year or two I haven't played it now when you play it there's a story line at the start where you're graduating from the academy and you have to go to your graduation ceremony and like so you have to do that like you play through that and then a big creature attacks and you escape in a ship and you end up on a planet and it's similar to how it used to be except

there's like a teleporter on the like a big teleportation like Stargate looking thing on the planet and once you find the crystals for that you get beamed up to this space port and there like merchants and it like it's just like it's completely different I might have actually kept played that's the thing I mean you you would never do that with any other art form other than a game if if they said a Early Access to this movie and you went and saw it and you're like oh I haven't really put the ending in and there's it's it's just a bit of a weird phenomenon really you could still play it you know like like terrario like it used to be it's just but but now it's like it's weird cuz like what what do I okay so it's not a survival game it's like a like an adventure game almost cuz

there's merchants and like it's like a role playing game now I don't know it's just it was caught me off guard I was like wait what is this game now it's not the game I thought it was you know yeah I stopped with Early Access a while ago just because I'm sort of doing I I just want a full game yeah that that's all I want to mess around and was it what's the one where your your plane crashes and you're stranded it's another survival one but there's like the the the natives I talked about it might be the the cave or something it's called not the Cave the uh the island but anyway it's the island yeah it was very um immersive but then like it becomes apparent after you play it for an hour or two you've done everything and there's no more game to play like

there's no it doesn't go anywhere that's why yeah Early Access I'm like I feel like it ruins my enjoyment of what would have been a great game because it's not finished although there is something on here which I actually did go in early access for that I think someone's played I think You' have been playing it go on dangerous I have been playing it wasn't the Early Access for that how's that game these days I uh because of I guess because of no man's Sky's been in the news I I remembered that I had bought Elite dangerous cuz someone uh made a comparison to it so I've been playing it uh and I'll be honest I played it for for a little bit and then I was like I don't know about this cuz it didn't seem like there was a game in there like I didn't know what the point was but then

all of a sudden it kind of clicked like you just do whatever you want like so Le dangerous uh for those who don't know Dan if you haven't not familiar with it um it's kind of like remember Wing commander and Privateer and all those games where you fly spaceship absolutely it's basically like you you you fly spaceship and that's all you do really uh and you start out on a on a a space station and then there's like a mission board and you can buy and sell Commodities and then you can fly off and go to another space station and trade and then get more missions and you can battle in space and as far as I can tell there is no plot as such you just you just do

things like as you see fit you can yeah there's no story it's you can smuggle stuff you can mine stuff you can do whatever you want take missions you can become like a bounty hunter you can you can yeah you can become a Trader I've been kind of making my way as a career uh at the moment because it's nice and easy so You' just got a just got an entry-level job yeah well what I do is making a making an honest living I've got uh the starter ship that the ship that you start with still but I've increased my uh my improved my FTL drive or what do they call it frame shift Drive uh so that I can make further jumps in space and I deliver Goods that's how I'm making money at this point until I can afford maybe a better ship or some more upgrades to the ship

and then I'll you know maybe take on some of the more difficult jobs on offer on the job board you know cuz there's like uh again there's like Bounty missions I did uh I did defeat some some guy uh attacked me to steal my goods I beat him and he had a bounty on his head so I got some money from that cool it's pretty cool I do have to ask are the controls more forgiving now yeah I the controls were so confusing when I first started playing that game I've gotten used to them now I'm I'm not very good right in this game when you get to a space station right if you're going to land uh they'll you you you come to a big space station right and and like things feel really really big in the in the game like it's like you're literally flying around in space like it feels

authentic and like if you don't have if if you're just if you leave a space station and you just fly at like you know like what you would call impulse speed I guess in Star Trek you know like normal sublight speed it it tells you well that's you know weeks on years away like the planets are years away so you jump to light speed and all of a sudden it starts getting closer and closer and closer and then you have to exit light speed before you get too close so and I crashed into a sun at one point and uh yeah it's pretty fun um but when you get to a space station you have to request permission to dock with the space station uh and then you actually have to fly like man you have to you have to do

this you have to fly into it through the what do you call it the dock yeah the entrance you have to fly inside make your way through the inside to where the Docking Bay is and then you have to land on the landing pad and it can be really difficult like until you get used to it cuz you know it's it's controlling a spaceship in know in like three dimensions so it is still difficult I think it's I think it's better than it was I remember when it first came out and I tried the demo it was infuriating I might have to give that another try and also it it's it's like I love that Matt says it's infuriating and that makes you want to try no no no it used to be infuriating but now it's kind of like you know I can I can land now I'm not the best but I can you know I don't

crash into into things over and over and over again like I did the first time I don't accidentally hit the afterburners while I'm inside of a space station anymore but we should play uh cuz it's it's it is multiplayer it is online um and you can you can play together so we should yeah definitely cuz I wouldn't mind giving down the go cuz yeah I purchased it I should probably play it yeah okay let's play it when it's 7 a.m. Matt's time and midnight luk time yep sounds good cuz listeners I know that you probably all think that the three of us wake up in bunk beds every morning um clean our teeth next to each other in matching pajamas but uh we're all into some time zones now so yeah it's uh it's 9:15 a.m. right now we could have played games

together when we're in the same time zone yeah that's true this is probably better yeah it probably is cuz we're going to have to plan it more yeah so Elite dangerous get it Dan and then we can play it maybe I will maybe you won't you won't maybe I will we'll see we will see yeah we'll see yes we will did anyone remember the great game Golden Eye of course on the Nintendo 64 of course it was a great game I played it sort of recently uh and I was like how the [ __ ] did I play this when I was a kid oh well my question is how the [ __ ] did you play it now did you play it on a Nintendo 64 I did I played it at uh big head mode one of the after show uh gaming sessions they had it set up did you remember years ago they were

talking about releasing on the Xbox 360 yeah yeah what happened with that um well it turns out it's cuz of Licensing oh that old chess like they were two months away from releasing the game and I fell about during licensing but there's a video out now that shows like the first half an hour of it and watching that first mission and sort of like I remember that game I that was crazy yeah right just just a shame that we never got to see it I Haven I haven't watch this video yet but is it like it looks good it looks like a better version of golden eye on the 360 see me that would have been good yeah it just looks like more up to date yeah the only thing I never used to like about Golden Eye was that I didn't like the 360 controller no and and I didn't like it

for the simple fact that you pulled the trigger with your middle finger no your trigger finger so there wasn't that kind of visceral connect with pulling the trigger of a gun wait you mhm you pull a trigger with your middle finger yeah cuz your your pointing Figures were on buttons right and then your middle finger was on the the trigger which was further back and underneath I I just used my trigger fingers and then I would just flick up and hit the buttons when I needed to I still do that now with the Xbox One controller no I used to play the same way as you I used to have my left on the middle hm okay that was a long that was a long way to go to move a finger off the trigger onto a button yeah I'm actually holding one in my hand at the moment I don't

know how you do it what do you mean when I when how do you play your Xbox One well no no but the buttons are closer yeah in the the Xbox One the buttons are right next to each other so you can just move slightly off the trigger and on the button blow my mind on the 360 controller it's your your middle finger was on the trigger no it wasn't all right well my middle finger was on the trigger you see use my left hand index finger and thumb were in that and then my that my right hand was on the right hand side of it there's only one trigger right there was three prongs three prongs and one trigger but there were two shoulder buttons okay yeah well I mean I see I hold the 360 controller the same way I hold the Xbox One controller like with my two trigger

fingers on the triggers and then when I need to hit a bumper I would just hit the bumper well like yeah CU I mean sounds better powered to you for being able to do it I don't know why I have an Xbox Nintendo 64 Controller right next to me yeah I don't know that either do you have a Nintendo 64 but now I want to hold one because now I want to work out what I was doing wrong all those years let's be honest the 64 wasn't a great console I didn't play it that often and I certainly didn't own one oh no I thought it was a great console yeah I liked it had uh I've never owned a Nintendo had some good games yeah as as as you both know I'm not a Nintendo fan yeah you're a Sega play gold and I I was

a Sega fan I was Seager I was too all the way not all the way I had a Master System first Dreamcast was one of the best systems one one or two two the one with Alex kid in Miracle World yep I had two as well oh man how frustra I mean Alex kid Miracle world's a great game but how frustrating was it when you were trying to play another game and the Alex kid music Started yeah you knew your your cartridge wasn't in properly you're like ah not you again Alex played you I played this game I rented for $6 and have to give back this time tomorrow yeah [ __ ] those days were but you always went back to Alex a kid cuz that was such a great game and the game was normally crap well cuz it it was there that's right and used to play scissor paper rock or junimo as they

called it for some Reas oh yeah probably motorcycle Japanese scissor paper rock or something as far as we know I want to play that again it'll probably be terrible you know what I want to play again even more than Alex kid Miracle World Wonder Boy oh yeah there's a there's a Wonder Boy in Monsterland remake coming out yes really I saw that yeah it looks amazing you know the one where you used to you turn into different animals remember that one yeah yeah there's a there's a remake of it coming out looks amazing yeah when you say a remake is it still done like a retro game or is it going to be like an all immersive mod no it's like uh it's it's like still a sid scroller it's got to be an it's going to be a platformer yeah yeah but it's uh

like all new graphics and stuff just made look prettier and Away you go which is all you need sometimes absolutely the dragon's trap is that what it's called Wonder Boy maybe it's not Wonder Boy Monsterland it's the dragon trap it's a it's yeah but it is Wonder Boy yeah oh yeah here we go go to the dragon trap.com and you can see it and then scroll down and have a look at the art it looks great maybe it's not the dragon's trap maybe it's the drag on strap the drag on strap yeah yeah drag on strap it's a strap that just doesn't go anywhere it's a dragon strapon the dragon strapon speaking of that's the name I think that's the name of this podcast the dragon strapon speaking of strap on

uh there is some some Texas news some sex toy news let's play the jingle do you do when you need new toy to put inside of you you listen to sex to news SE news yeah protests at a university in Texas or the University of Texas I forget um students are angry because where it is illegal to bring something as obscene as a dildo to school it's not illegal to carry a gun and they think that's a bit stupid so they've all brought their dildos to school yeah there's a new law and they were all shot there's a new law that says you're allowed to carry a gun on campus uh they allow it allows concealed handguns in

classrooms buildings and dormitories uh and they said yeah it's ridiculous that that you could have a gun but not a sex toy so yeah in then they're not saying we fight for the right to bring our sex toys no no I'm sure I'm sure spun that way by some people I'm sure like what do they want what do they want to carry dildos around for they don't yeah they just don't want you to have guns do you know what's going to happen oh my God you know what's going to happen [ __ ] leftwing [ __ ] hippie pinkos are going to start protesting for the rights for these kids to bring dildos to school yeah right misunderstanding that that's not the point at all this and they'll be like we won we won you can now carry a dildo right next to your gun yeah you

can carry a gun or a dildo equality for all y not the point not the point I guess if if they make it blanket that you can carry anything that that is kind of the point but mhm yeah or take the real point which that it's like why would you possibly possibly ever in any scenario need a gun at school uh I mean I everyone else has got a gun I can think of re but if no one has one no one has one yeah right but I guess that's the Paradox of gun ownership no I'm almost certain that the the answer to that is going to be yes somebody you're not allowed to bring them in but somebody could bring one in that's the thing just don't have guns available to people yeah no one because everybody when you ask who going to [ __ ] defend

yourself from It's Always other gun owners yeah I know but uh that said Matt now that you live there you need to get a gun because that's your right yeah I don't think I'm allowed to just yet but uh just yet you will I don't well just I mean we don't have to talk about this too much cuz I'm I'm no expert but I do think uh getting just telling everybody no more guns is not really an option here so yes I have a feeling that uh that would be frowned upon it's not gonna not going to be that easy so uh maybe maybe it's just maybe it is better that everyone just carries a dildo as well yeah gun and a dildo yeah my question is how many of these people do you reckon went out and bought a dildo specifically to bring or at least the on have just got draw at home yeah just guy I'll

bring it in tomorrow I'll bring in my dildo give it a rinse pop it in the bag yeah yeah well actually what am I saying you should rinse it you should always rinse it off guys come on yeah we're going to assume that they've been rinsed after use every time right yeah yeah yeah let's assume that let's give them the benefit of the doubt mhm mhm yeah some of these are big dildos man why you need that for comical effect isue but that's what I mean do they go out and go going to buy the biggest dildo possible well you would right because I assume that these things have been inside these women yeah if if I'm gonna show up at a protest right with a dildo I'm not going to buy one that looks like it fits me cuz people are going to assume that's just people going

to assume it's just my dildo whereas if I buy a giant one it's obviously like oh it's just a joke dildo you know it's not really or are they going to it's been inside you yeah everyone's going to assume the same thing Matt they're going to be like [ __ ] that guy can take a lot yeah maybe oh I know you can take a lot uh speaking of taking a lot uh where you go with this go on no I was going to talk about the oldest man in the world oh the guy who uh has just been discovered at 145 years old yeah he's got official government identification that states he was born in 1870 and uh and just wants to die yep in an interview he basically said I just want to die but but he he will not for some reason he's officially the oldest

person uh ever in recorded history now a lot of people have claimed to be older than this but this is the only person who can actually prove that they were born yeah and that long ago I mean it could be a a clerical error uh you know it's not they and also I don't think they kept the best records back then and the most accurate records back then no probably not so I call [ __ ] on this just out of probability they're going to test him apparently just to make sure but uh they've confirmed that the birth date how a leg off and count the Rings or they're they've confirmed that his identity card is valid so you mean like he hasn't he's not you know carrying a fake ID but uh oh yeah and this guy

looks old I mean this guy is old yeah but 145 is pushing it surely and I put it to you that in the 1870s in Indonesia right their records weren't like undisputable you know what I mean well I mean he'd have to have not been around then in order for his ID to be fake though that's the thing so when if if he wasn't born in 18 well up until I guess the 1900s you're probably still correct so he could have been born any time that's assuming he has a birth certificate issued in the year 1870 which he doesn't he just just has an ID which he got a lot later on which has his birth date recorded as 1870 that's not the same thing cuz what year was

that issued in yeah right 1992 y gotcha well he uh I don't think I want to live that long well no this guy no I mean this guy just seems miserable he's uh he's his children are all dead um his grandchildren independent he's got a plot like a burial site next to the graves of his children uh it's been there since 1992 MH and he's just wait just waiting to die right since when we were in year six yeah he's uh he's just been waiting and uh he can't all he can do is listen to the radio cuz his eyesight is uh is too bad for him to watch television watch Telly the second I can't watch television and play games put me out of my misery don't worry we will ahead of you why wait why wait ly because I can still play

games not without hands spoilers if I lose my hands just put me out of my misery all right and when asked what the secr me but for different reasons when asked what his secret to longevity is he replied the recipe is just patience that's a cop out just don't die I think he didn't understand the question question yeah what's your secret oh just don't die yep that's good advice yeah yeah you could maybe stop taking your advice now I don't know if you can well there was that uh that woman who said uh that she reached the age of 120 by drinking a gin a day yeah Luke's taking I thought Luke you were trying to challenge her on that so you're going well ahead there one a day yeah yes but that's only half the challenge the other

half of the challenge is to live as long so just drinking more was not the challenge it's not a drinking game just times that by six so I'm going to live six times as long okay I mean the math checks out I suppose so we have to come back in [ __ ] 720 years do we to be able to prove that that did or didn't happen pretty much okay can we discuss this uh so truly for that podcast can we discuss this teleportation device cuz I we can Matt questions um but I I do have to confess that I pasted this in without having fully read the article so I may not be able to answer your questions okay I read it yeah start uh so China's government is claiming that they've had a major breakthrough in Secure

Communications um and they reckon they can trans trans MIT Quantum coded data from a station in Tibet to the satellite without having to move a physical particle uh and they're saying eventually that could produce physical teleportation as portrayed in the 1960s science fiction program Star Trek and I say to you that's not teleportation that's copying Al The Prestige yeah uh which is different mhm and terrifying I put it to you that that's probably not what it's going to happen anyway no that cuz that's terrifying because what if you're not moving a physical particle the the the U on the other end is not you and so what the [ __ ] happens to you okay get a nice cup of tea

listeners and sit back as we discuss every angle of that philosophical quandry over the next 12 or 13 hours obiously I'm going to be reading from most of my favorite authors who have tackled that subject but yeah so well my my only comment on that is it's not a teleportation device no and they probably can't even do the the lesser of the possible inventures that that could potentially to but my question now well my next question is Luke if they build this thing yep would you teleport yourself to Mars I'll teleport myself everywhere oh you would but dream yeah but yeah but but like based on what I've just told you how how this thing works would you do it mhm yes okay all right so it would teleport you to Mars

but there'd be a carbon copy view left here on Earth well it would have to be destroyed yeah I mean I would destroy it it's an Abomination I would just destroy it regardless the only way this can work is if if the the version on this end is destroyed you destroy the no what I'm thinking of is the version that's left here continues to work but needs to pay Luke support to me on Mars go on so he goes to work still right makes money but he has to give a third of his wage TOS he It's You Luke It's You Earth luk has to give a third of his wage to Mars Luke yeah you realize and what do you spend money on I'm just going to clar we clarify that no that's

Mars Luke yeah yeah but it's not you no it's maruk and you're okay with that yeah what we're doing is we're making a copy of you sending that copy to Mars and then killing you no no no Riv I've got my whole Luke support system right and and you're okay with that yep all right good good talk you know I think I think we could get accomplish a lot if we had a clone yes you know what I mean measure what you could do some of the listeners who want a a Dan on Dan threesome could write in and me and my clone could service your every sexual need imagine how many achievements you could get Luke with two Dans yeah double teaming over and

over are you imagining it Luke imagine it yep I know you are I know you are yeah so I mean who so you whose job would it be to uh to maintain the achievement streak yours or Mars Luke's sorry what was this whose job would it be oh you distracted now thinking day dreaming about how wonderful it's going to be Luke Luke come on okay let's what's the question again I got this whose job is it going to be to maintain the achievement streak yours or Mars Luke's um it would be Earth Luke right what is Mars Luke going to be doing up there Mars stuff right Mars achievements yep yeah gotcha do we need to I've made

that uh send him away poster so good it's so good do we need to make one for this scenario where it's like it's like uh The Prestige but yeah right it's Luke it would be great we absolutely doe Matt is the answer to that what are the three what's What's the phrase that gets plased on cuz what what is the prestige um SL are you watching closely I think oh is it there you go it's pretty pretty good all right well I I for one would not use this thing absolutely not why not because what do you mean why

not I don't see a problem with it so I don't understand why no one else would use it well okay in in that that's your version the way you get to keep both copies but the traditional version if this is supposed to be a teleporter your your particles here get disassembled right so you don't exist anymore do you understand what I mean oh so there's only going to be one of me that'll be Mars luk correct if if it's to function as a teleporter we're talk like we're joking and saying that because because what it does is it it makes a copy of you like it's not it doesn't actually move any physical part yeah I'm still fine with it you still fine with it they test it first I'm not surprised all right fine it'll be fine what you mean they'll test it it doesn't

matter if they test testing or UNT testing of it that is the problem it does too much about it if it works has advertised you're dead you know what you know what Matt Matt I think Luke is the target audience for an invention like this people that go look I don't want to think too much about it I just want to be teleported someplace and perhaps killed perhaps not and then it's because the I mean the copy is is a copy of you and it will think that it is you but it won't be you I'm okay with that but only one of you will know that because the other one will be instantly killed that's right yep disassembled mhm no disassemble Stephanie I was like who the [ __ ] is Stephanie did you get a new

cat thought it Luke's just gone [ __ ] crazy do we want to talk about speaking of going crazy do we want to talk about this uh incident in Sydney look I mean it's certainly the kind of thing we would usually talk about on this podcast but I I mean I know how much we'd want to make jokes about it is this the that the lube acid thing yeah yeah no we are not discussing this I think we could only discuss it if we agree now that we're discussing how horrible it is and we're not making jokes but at the same time kind of pointless on this then that's not really our bag yeah no we we can't do that all right there's nothing F crazy though there's nothing funny about gay sex so I don't know I don't know what there is I

don't think there's anything here for us look multiple ner go on year one would have been all over this what are you eating all over what are you eating I just got brought some soup well that's not going to work is it that's not going to work can't you can't eat soup while you do the show oh I can't eat chips I can't eat biscuits I got now I can't eat soup it's the opposite of those things go for I think he can do it there is yeah something I saw in here that I want to discuss has someone actually heard of a rumor of someone playing Lando or is this just someone's dream I pasted in I pasted in an article here earlier in the week saying Donald Glover is Young Lando full stop right today I changed that to Donald Glover is Young

Lando question mark because I have since found less articles that have it as a definitive fact and more articles that say it's a rumor but a good rumor I'd watch the [ __ ] out of that I saw a lot of articles about it and then I saw some that said um he they he was asked about it and he basically just said yeah I love Star Wars uh and like no comment basically which could mean anything you know what no comment means yes because if it was a no you'd be like [ __ ] I want that and you better call me about it now yeah well apparently the reason he's in the new Spider-Man is because he said he would love to be in the new Spider-Man so that's been working out for him yeah

uh I mean yeah him as Lando yeah do it yeah yeah I mean they're making the movie anyway uh with with young H solo like I guess go go for it it's not often they land on a on a casting we just straight up agree with you know so this this would be good we'd be fine with this cuz I could not think of anyone else to play Lando no me either I mean I didn't try very hard I just had a quick then but then although I mean they went with an unknown for Han didn't they oh no he's been in other stuff the guy who's playing Han Solo just not stuff that I've seen maybe that's why I think he's unknown well I thought he was in more stuff because I actually thought he was another guy as we discovered on this podcast when I started rattling off

films he hadn't been in yeah yeah no I I'm I'm with you on the there's no real evidence that he is or he isn't I've got seeing stories that say yes he is and then others where it's from yesterday where it's oh it's a rumor he is so well rumors all start somewhere normally from me no smoke without fire did you start this rumor Luke um or did Mars Luke start this rumor Mars Luke started this rumor again Mars Luke's become a pain in the ass maybe we should have murdered him instead of of Luke bring him him home send him away bring him back and then send him away again we haven't discussed this I don't think at all there's a [ __ ] David

Brent movie out oh yes we haven't disc did you see the trailer we haven't discussed this at all but uh it no we have not uh the album is out on on Apple music I had to listen to it it's not as funny as I was hoping it's kind of but I guess the jokes are in the film that's why that's the it's not it's not a comedy album It's a yeah yeah that's right when did it come out uh it's like out soon right or now it's it's just out like it's not not like it's been out for a while and we missed it it's just that trailers and stuff have been out and he's been talking about it on Twitter and stuff just we haven't mentioned it so Ricky jaes is back as David Brent there's a film called life on the road and uh Steve Merchant is not involved at all

which I thought was a bit interesting that is odd uh well they haven't done it can't be because he's busy doing other stuff they must have had a falling no apparently it is because he's busy and they haven't had a falling out so okay all right that's uh that his official comment uh when he was awkwardly asked about it on uh on live television he was there promoting um something else that he's doing and um they said oh Ricky ja's got that new office movie coming out and he said it's not it's not an office movie it's it's just a David Brent movie that he's making uh which I thought was yeah which I thought was a bit and then uh and they said ah so uh you know you haven't done anything with him in a while what's

going on there and he went oh you know just uh I'm just oh he's doing a play that's right he said I'm doing this play uh and he he's I'm in a play so I can't write yeah on the show that made me famous I'm doing stuff here in America and he's doing that uh in England I think is what he said so okay although I'm I I know for a fact Ricky jaes is in America a lot so he visit he lives there now so I don't know I and uh and you know this because you live there mad is we're neighbors basically yeah yeah I live on uh on the east side and he lives on the west side next to each other okay so yeah when you look to the West see you can see him can hear his little

laugh but yeah the mov try watching it looks terrible the movie yeah it uh it looks all right the reviews have not been great they've been fine um apparently it's like it's missing something which I guess could be Steve Merchant's influence like it's it's missing the um apparently it's all um like it's very dire kind of right uh yeah I don't I mean I haven't seen it so maybe maybe look I'm looking forward to watching it I don't read reviews um because I don't care what other people think but I'm definitely going to check this out I'm going to try and get get moves and see it this week is it out this week yeah it's out here all right I

want to see it too all right life on the rad something that I watched this week have you guys seen a TV show called waywood Pine no I've heard of it no yeah I heard of it too and I was looking for things to watch after I finished um stranger things and then I've had this kind of monthlong depression um because no other TV is as good to me anymore um and I'm left just perpetually unsatisfied um but that's another story you need Mars Luke to pop around for a visit but um the the internet told me to start watching waywood Pines which uh Is co-produced by The Duffer Brothers mhm who um created stranger things stranger things um with M shamalan who I'm not normally a fan of but there you go um quite good I started it yesterday

finished it today so it was good enough that it made me watch 10 episodes in a 48 hour period okay so you've only seen the first season so far then I have yes so judgmental oh you been seen the first season have you well your uh your your opinion is invalid then d yeah know that's when you watch the whole thing and then I'm having I'm seeing it and go oh there's two seasons you only watch 10 episodes that's that that's all yeah yeah okay come back to come back to us when you finish Dan all right I don't I don't usually have 20 solid hours to watch TV uh I thought 10 was an achievement you should clone yourself good um look waywood Pines is pretty cool uh it kind of it's it's like a big long episode of The Twilight Zone and I like the vibe of it

um and there's things that are really awesome there are subplots some sub fuing talk there are Subs that are downright dumb which kind of spoil it overall uh and a couple of characters that I think they should have just written out uh and about halfway through the series it took a turn that I was like okay you're going to have to really earn this I'm not sure if I'm on board for this change of direction right H and it wasn't handled uh completely the way I want but every time I go to criticize it I have to remind myself that I watched these back to back all weekend so right clearly it had some sustaining power you know what I mean right I'm Keen to hear if other people liked it so what if you've seen it you liked it right in what kind of show is

it um it's kind of like uh well I tell the premise is that it's a secret service agent who gets into a car accident and wakes up inside a Time little town where something just seems very very wrong and tries he might he can't seem to leave this town that sounds pretty interesting yeah it is it's interesting it's the kind of genre we like um it's not like hard drama you know it's not like [ __ ] 6 feet under or something like characters are pretty two-dimensional and you know story twists and turns are fairly predictable but yeah I mean something about it that I liked kept my interest okay that's all I'm willing to say say about it well just a quick update um life on the road is not out here so I don't

know uh I'll look into that more but it's definitely not showing anywhere in this state so yeah maybe I'm not able to see it it's always Italy speaking of Italy right cuz I I'm in Australia and we get the Australian that f which is nothing I've been using a VPN yeah uh the company I was going through just came out this week and went look we can't do it anymore sorry Netflix will not be you'll not be able to get Netflix on our system anymore yeah cuz they're really cring down so I'm now on the hunt for a new place that'll do it for the ones I've found they're a lot more expensive yeah it's going to be

difficult because uh they'll they'll just keep blocking them so um yeah I think eventually you're going to be out of luck and so I'll end up halfway through a season and I'll just be going to Italy you might just have to come and live with me I want to do the right thing and pay money but if you're not going to make it easy for me I may have to go to Italy so I can stop finish watching the season I'm halfway through look look I can't criticize you because and I can't remember other than the fact that I do subscribe to Netflix uh if it's not on Netflix I don't find another place to legally pay for it you know what I mean and I was thinking about this during the week why don't I have any quals about I got into an argument with somebody who was you know

going I can't believe it you're in the film and TV industry and you're stealing content and why is that and why don't you feel bad about it yeah and it occurred to me I've never paid to see movies other than going to the cinema right right my first ever job was at a cinema and I could get him for free just go and watch a movie whenever I wanted right my second job when I was at Uni was at HMV CD and DVD store where I was allowed to just take things home encouraged to take things home so that you could be encyclopedic about the content of everything in the store then I started working in TV and if I wanted to see something I just went down to the programmer and said can I get a screener for this they hand me something and now

that I don't it's kind of like well how do I get things for free see I'm always happy to pay for things at a sensible price I know I know what you mean Luke I know what you mean no I went to BU with you buddy I was watching I forget what I forget what I was going to buy a EP a season of sto on the Xbox I forget what it was but it was season one and it was $70 there are four seasons it wasn't like this was the most current season it was like a and they W $70 for it and I went I'm not paying we used to pay $80 for half a season of Buffy I know three of the six discs but things have changed so much since then and I could walk down to JB highight and pick up a season for

$20 why would I pay 70 you could well why would you walk down and pay $20 when you can get it for free from The Pirate Bay I guess is the point you're making pretty much yeah I uh Comics uh cheap as [ __ ] here now uh physical comics in in the US so I got excited about that oh of course and then I thought oh well hang on cuz I usually read them on my iPad so I'm like the price is different uh if I buy them digitally here than Australia no they're still uh still stupidly expensive for some reason digitally like why the [ __ ] is that like if I can go and buy it for $2 right at a shop I guess cuz they bulk buy them so they sell them cheaper than than the you know the cover price but if I go on to like the Marvel store online or if I go

comixology they're still like you know $7 or $8 and like a graphic novel um like like a trade paperback right is I can get them for like 10 bucks off Amazon or from like newb or a comic store if I go to comixology 20 bucks so now I got to download all my Comics still even though I'd like to pay for them we want to pay for them everyone but we just aren't gonna that's all for this week thank you for listening and we hope you enjoyed the show if you enjoyed it then please subscribe and item to receive episodes automatically we'll see you next time I still think it's funny if we read the exact ones that we did last time but we read them about each other and just change the the tense yep okay so if you scroll down to segments I've got the

little script there uhhuh I accidentally got soap in D Ure the word you stumbled on was my name know by the way this is staying in the podcast go again all right I got this I accidentally got soap in Dan Ure why do I why can I not say your name now I also don't know why you're taking such a huge pause after the word I I think maybe maybe as a warm up just as a warm-up Luke just repeat the word urethra over and over again you that's not going to work cuz I'm going to stumble over that now maybe just go danra Dan ra danra I accidentally got soap in little cun man I know how to say your [Music] name no it's it's not your name that's

throw me off it's the next word it is right okay prove it all right I accidentally got soap in Dan's urethra it sounds so proud of that too so so casual I accidentally got soap in D you to e oh [ __ ] [Laughter] me we got all night we're going to do this until you get it I got all day oh okay this was a good idea Dan yeah this is a terrible idea I accidentally got soap in Dan urethra perfect it's also going to be my new uh message [Music] tone